Heartbreak Warfare
by purplepagoda
Summary: The day that you find out you're having a child, should be the happiest one of your life. Jane finds out that she's pregnant, there isn't any joy. She finds herself questioning everything. As the truth comes to light, her life is turned inside out. Will Frost be able to solve the mystery, before it's too late? Or will Hoyt win, again?
1. This Is How A Heart Breaks

Sometimes, at night, when she sleeps, he still haunts her. Dead, and gone, but still ruling her life. She was slowly learning to let go. Her hands hurt less, and less, except when it was raining, or on a humid summer day, or when it was really cold. She tosses and turns. She hadn't had a good night of sleep, for... at least a decade.

The alarm clock goes off. The start of another day, just like any other. She hits snooze, and lies there for another ten minutes. She rolls out of bed, on the second alarm, and heads to the shower. She tosses on the first clean thing that she finds, and blow dries her hair quickly. She brushes her teeth, and washes her face. She grabs her gun, badge, and keys, and leaves the house.

Her usual morning routine continues. She grabs a cup of coffee in the cafeteria, on her way upstairs to the squad room. Before 10 AM, she's seen two dead bodies, and had three cups of coffee. As she watches Maura perform an autopsy, she yawns.

"Tired?" Maura asks.

"Always."

"Do you ever sleep?"

"Rarely."

"Have you ever considered seeing a sleep specialist?"

"What's the point? I'm a cop, that's the reason that I don't sleep."

"Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine, why?"

"You look a little bit pale."

"Maura, I'm fine."

"If you say so," Maura continues with the task at hand.

"I do."

Jane watches, as Maura slices open the intestine. A foul smell erupts into the room. Jane gags.

"What is that smell."

"It's hard to tell. It could be a number of things."

Jane makes a heaving motion.

"Sink," Maura tells her.

"I'm fine," she argues.

Maura looks at her, and the green hue to her face. "Sink," she repeats.

Jane doesn't argue this time. She barely makes it to the sink, in time. When she finishes Maura, is standing next to her, holding a bottle of mouthwash.

"Thanks," Jane takes the bottle from her. She swishes and spits.

"What happened to your stomach of steel?" Maura inquires.

Jane shrugs, "I don't know."

"Are you feeling ok?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"You don't think that you're pregnant, do you?"

Jane furrows her brow, and scrunches her face, "No, I don't think that. Why would I think that?"

Maura shrugs, "I don't know. Is it impossible?"

"Nothing is impossible."

"Maybe..."

"I don't want to hear it."

"It's been..." Maura begins.

"Maura, it's highly improbably."

"I am sure that it is, but you should still take a test."

"Why? Why would I do that? I don't think that I am."

"It wouldn't hurt anything," Maura tells her.

"I have never, in my entire life, taken a pregnancy test, and I am not going to start now."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No," Jane shakes her head.

"You've never taken a pregnancy test?"

"No," Jane shakes her head.

"Why not?"

"Because I enjoy being single, and childless. I am very cautious."

"Not..."

"Don't lecture me."

"Just humor me. It's almost lunch time, we could..."

"It's the only what that I'm going to shut you up, isn't it?"

"Yes," Maura nods.

But Jane refuses to take the test in Maura's presence. She waits, until she's home alone, that night. She pees on the stick, and then heads into the kitchen, to make a sandwich, quite confident of the results. She sits down on the couch to watch TV with her sandwich, and potato chips.

She completely forgets about the test, until she goes to take her shower. She finds the plastic stick on the counter, as she gets undressed. She glances at the stick, and turns the shower on. She turns around, and rubs her eyes. She takes a second look at the test.

Jane avoids Maura, for the next few days, and dodges her questions. She remains vague, and lies, to avoid the questions. She tells her that she'll be late to work on Friday for a dentist appointment. Maura questions her, but Jane lies through her teeth.

845 AM:

She gasps, and claps her hand to her mouth. Suddenly it feels hard to breathe.

9AM: She sits in her car, completely numb. She feels herself becoming overwhelmed. She adds confusion, and fear to the mix. She pulls her phone out of her pocket, and dials a familiar number. It rings twice.

"Jane, I thought that you said you would be here, by nine."

Jane doesn't respond.

"Hello? Are you there? Did you pocket dial me again?""Maura," she whispers.

"Jane, are you ok?"

The tears stream from her eyes, and roll down her cheeks. She swallows hard, "No."

"What's wrong?"

"Maura, I need you to come and get me."

"What happened? Where are you?"

"Please," she begs, "Just come get me. I'll text you the address."

"Ok."

Jane hangs up.

Maura gathers her things, and leaves the building. She leaves the building as quickly as she possibly can. She arrives fifteen minutes later. She pulls into a parking spot next to Jane's car. By the time she reaches her, she's sobbing.


	2. Hard On The Heart

Maura knocks on the window. Jane unlocks the door. Maura slides into the car, in the passenger's seat. She closes the door, and looks at Jane. She's a wreck. She's nearly shaking, as she sobs. Maura notices that she's hyperventilating.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Jane shakes her head.

"Maura, I..." she finds herself at a loss for words.

Maura hugs her. Jane doesn't fight it, she just buries her face in Maura's shoulder. Finally Jane lets go. She wipes with the palm of her hand.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"I...," she shakes her head.

"It's going to be ok."

Jane shakes her head, "I don't think so," she disagrees.

"You'll figure it out."

"Maura, you don't understand. I..." she trails off.

"I know that you're upset, but you'll figure it out. I'll help you. If you don't want to do this, you don't have to."

"Will you take me home?" Jane responds.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," she nods.

Maura drops Jane off at her apartment. Jane insists that Maura returns to work. As soon as Maura finishes her work that day, she goes to check on Jane. She knocks on the door. There is no answer. She tries the handle. It's unlocked, so she goes inside.

"Jane?" she calls out.

She doesn't elicit a response.

"Jane are you here?"

Jane doesn't answer.

Maura heads through the living room in the dark, towards the hallway. She in the doorway, of Jane's bedroom. She flips on the light, and finds Jane curled up in a ball, in the middle of the bed. She makes he way to the bed. She takes a seat, on the edge of the bed.

"Do you need anything?"

"No," she responds flatly.

"How long have you been here?"

"I don't know," she answers. Her tears are replaced by a sense of numbness.

"Are you ok?" Maura asks, stupidly.

"No," Jane shakes her head, swallowing hard.

"Are you going to be ok?" Maura continues with the idiotic line of questioning.

"I don't think so," Jane admits.

"Are you going to talk to me?"

"I don't know how to. I wouldn't even know where to start."

"Why don't I talk, and you can just nod? Or confirm."

"I don't want to do this. I can't do this."

"Have this conversation?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Jane, what happened today?"

"I went to the doctor," she begins.

"Because?"

"I took a dozen of them, and I still refused to believe it."

"A dozen what?"

"Tests."

"Oh, and?"

"They all said the same thing."

"They were positive?" Maura guesses.

"Uh huh."

"So you went to the doctor to confirm?"

"Yes."

"And, then what happened?"

Jane shakes her head, "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Because it's scary?"

"Among other things."

"He confirmed?"

"Yes," she nods.

"And..."

"Maura, please, don't. I can't, I... I just can't."

"Jane, what happened that was so bad?"

"Everything."

"Is there something wrong?"

"Everything, is wrong," she answers with tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Is there something wrong with the baby?"

"Maura everything is wrong."

"What do you mean, exactly?"

"Everything about this, is wrong. I don't understand, it doesn't make any sense."

"What doesn't?"

"Any of it."

"Jane, I know that you're careful, but accidents happen."

"Not, to me."

"Apparently they do."

"You don't understand."

"You keep saying that, and I agree, that, I don't understand, but only because you won't let me."

"I don't want to do this."

"It's perfectly normal to feel that way. You might warm up to the idea, though."

"No. I won't. I don't want to do this."

"That's your choice. It's ok if you don't want to, no one is stopping you."

"But I have to do this, despite what I want, or what I feel. I have no choice in the matter."

"Jane, you don't have to do anything that you don't want to."

"Yes, I do," Jane argues.

"What did the doctor say?"

"Lots of things."

"For example?"

"Things that I didn't want to hear, or have to think about."

"Jane, how far along did he say you are? Four weeks, five? Six?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"Three?"

"No. Stop guessing."

"Ok. If you don't want to talk about it, then you don't have to. It's ok."

"Then stop asking. I just want to go to sleep, and when I wake up, I want my life to go back to normal. I want to wake up, and have this all be a dream."

"I know."


	3. Hurts The Heart

"It's not ok. None of this is ok."

"Can you just tell me what happened today?"

* * *

_The doctor has done his pelvic exam. The ultrasound technician begins. The screen is turned away from Jane. The doctor studies the screen in silence he furrows his brow, and looks at Jane._

_"This is your first prenatal visit?"_

_"I guess."_

_"You guess?" he questions._

_"Yes."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yes."_

_"I see."_

_"Why are you making that face?" Jane questions._

_"How long have you known that you were pregnant?" he continues._

_"Not very long," she responds._

_"Which is exactly how long?"_

_"Three days, why?"_

_"You've only known for three days?"_

_"Why is that surprising to you?" Jane wonders._

_"Wendy," he instructs the ultrasound technician, "go ahead and show her." _

_She turns the screen around, for Jane to see. _

_She gasps, and claps her hand to her mouth. _

_"I am guessing that you are much farther along, than you thought that you were."_

_"I thought that I was only a few weeks along."_

_"You're not. In fact, you're more than halfway through your pregnancy. I would estimate gestation at twenty five weeks."_

_Jane thinks back, in her head, "Twenty five weeks? That is impossible."_

_"Clearly, it's not."_

_Wendy looks at the screen, "That may explain it," she looks at the doctor._

_He takes a look at the screen. Jane looks at the doctor._

_"What? What would explain it?" Jane queries._

_"You have a low lying placenta. It may cause you to bleed. You probably mistakenly assumed that it was your period," he suggests._

Maura looks at Jane, waiting for an answer. Jane snaps back into reality. Maura waits, patiently.

* * *

"So, what did the doctor say?"

Jane rolls over, and opens the drawer of her bedside stand. She pulls something out, and hands it to Maura. Maura takes it from her.

"Those are from today," Jane narrates.

"Today? These are yours?" Maura raises an eyebrow.

"Yes."

"I'm confused."

"So am I."

"How far along are you?"

"Too far," Jane answers.

"Too far? Twelve weeks?"

"More than that," Jane answers.

"How much more?"

"He said that his estimate was, twenty five weeks."

"What? That can't be right. There is no way."

"He said something about me having a low lying placenta."

"That would make sense, but there is no way that you could go that long without knowing."

"After you left, I went, and had a second opinion."

"Good."

"That doctor said the same thing."

"How?"

"I don't know."

"I spend every single day with you, I think that I would have noticed."

"You would think that I would have noticed."

"Does it move?"

"I don't know," Jane shrugs, "I wouldn't even know what that feels like."

"Wow. No wonder you didn't want to talk about."

"Maura I'm not ready for this. I can't do this."

"It will be ok," Maura promises her.

"I really don't think so."

"Why not?"

Jane looks away. She stares at the window, avoiding eye contact with Maura. She clenches her jaw, trying to fight off the tears. She sits up, on the opposite side of the bed. She doesn't answer Maura, but she says something disturbing.

"Maura, I need you to do something for me."

"Sure."

"I think that you should take my gun home with you."

"Why?"

"Please. You can give it to me at work tomorrow."

"Jane... I..."

"Maura please."

"Ok. Jane, are you ok?"

"No," she shakes her head, "There is something really wrong, here."

"With the baby?"

"I don't know, about that. There is something wrong with... I feel like this is a dream."

"I know that this must be a shock, but you will get through it. You'll figure it out."

Jane glances at her non-existent stomach. She swallows hard, and all of her defenses break down. She begins to cry. Her cry turns into an uncontrollable sob. She begins to hyperventilate. Maura moves over, to her. She squats on the floor, next to the bed.

"It will be ok."

Jane shakes her head. The look in her eyes tells Maura that there is something that she isn't sharing. There is something, even worse.

"Are you feeling guilty, because you didn't know?"

"Of course, but.." Jane trails off, "never mind."

"That's not what's eating at you," Maura realizes.

"No," Jane responds solemnly.


	4. Heart Attack

"What is eating at you, the most?" Maura inquires.

"That it's impossible."

"Jane, nothing is impossible. Statistically, birth control..."

Jane cuts her off, "Just listen, please."

"Ok," Maura nods.

"My estimated date of conception..." she begins.

"I'm listening."

"Is, entirely impossible."

"Why?"

"There is a certain process, that results in whatever."

"Yes, and?"

"There wasn't one."

"What do you mean?"

"There wasn't one," she responds.

"Maybe there is someone that you are forgetting about."

"No, there's not."

"Maybe, there are a couple of weeks off, either way," Maura suggests.

"Maybe, but it's still not possible."

"Because?"

"It would have to be immaculate conception."

"Maybe they're closer to three, or four weeks off, in their estimate."

"They would have to be eight weeks off, in their estimation, for it to be even remotely possible."

"What are you saying?"

"I didn't have sex for four months. Eight weeks prior to their calculations, and eight weeks after."

"Oh."

"So this, is the part where I wake up, and realize that all of this has been a dream, or a nightmare, right?"

"Maybe there is an explanation."

"There is no explanation. How could I get pregnant, when I didn't have sex? How could I be twenty five weeks along, and not know it?"

"I don't know."

"Will you stay here, with me?"

"Of course," Maura agrees.

Jane doesn't fall asleep until nearly three o'clock that morning. Maura slips out of the room around five, for coffee. She closes the bedroom door, behind her. She slips into the kitchen, and turns the coffee maker on. She turns on the TV, while she waits for the coffee to brew. She turns the volume on low, and takes a seat on the couch. The light of the large flat screen illuminates most of the room. The light from the range hood, in the kitchen makes the room pretty bright.

Maura gets off the couch, and pours herself a cup of coffee, once it's done brewing. She turns, to head back into the living room. She notices an envelope lying on the floor, by the door. She sits her coffee down, on the coffee table. She stares at the envelope for several moments. She stares at the handwriting, trying to figure out where she's seen it before.

Unsure of the significance, of the lightbulb her subconscious is trying to turn on, she decides to play it safe. She grabs a tissue, and uses it to collect the envelope off the floor. She places it on the counter, in the kitchen.

Hours later Jane wakes up. She joins Maura in the kitchen. She pours herself a cup of coffee. Maura stands at the stove, making omelets. Jane leans against the counter, staring silently at her cup full off coffee.

"It's fresh. I just made a new pot," Maura tells her.

"Why do I feel so guilty for things that I've done, when I'm pregnant with a baby that I don't even want?"

Maura doesn't even attempt to answer that. "Omelet?" she questions.

"I'm not hungry."

"Ok."

"No one from work has called yet?"

"No," Maura admits.

"Do you know how man beers I've had in the past twenty five weeks?"

"No."

"Neither do I. I don't know that I would care to count."

"Don't," Maura warns, "Don't do this to yourself, you will just drive yourself crazy."

"Or how many cups of coffee?"

"Jane, stop," Maura insists.

"Do you know how many stupid things I've done, in that amount of time?"

"Jane, just drink your coffee."

Jane stares at the cup of coffee. She hands it to Maura, "I don't want it."

"I've already drank half a pot," Maura responds.

Jane takes the cup, and dumps it into the sink. That's when she notices the envelope, on the counter. She furrows her brow. It takes her two seconds, to figure out.

"Maura, where did that come from?"

Maura looks in her direction, "I found it under your door, this morning, why?"

"That's impossible."

"What is?"

"I need a pair of gloves," she answers.

Maura turns off the stovetop, and goes into the living room. She grabs a pair out of her purse, and hands them to Jane.

"Why are you putting gloves on, to open that?"

Jane doesn't answer. She opens her junk drawer, and pulls out a letter opener. She carefully slices the letter open. She pulls the paper out, and reads it to herself.

_Jane,_

_I know that you thought you had heard the last of me. I knew that the day would come, that I would bid this world adieu. I didn't want you to forget me. This is my best piece of work yet. Enjoy solving the puzzle._

_Charles._

Jane drops the letter, to the ground. Maura waits for an explanation.

"Who is it from?"

"You don't want to know."

"You recognized the handwriting on the envelope, before you opened it. Who is it from?"

"Hoyt."

"He's dead."

"That is his handwriting."

"He's writing to you, from beyond the grave?"


	5. Sinking Heart

A horrible thought pops into Jane's head. She quickly pushes it away. She looks at Maura. She takes a deep breath, and picks the letter up off the floor, with her gloves on.

"Call Frost, please."

"What are you going to do?"

"Shower."

"What do you want me to tell him?"

"To come over here."

"Ok," Maura agrees.

When Jane gets out of the shower, Frost is in her kitchen.

"I am going to take this and, have it dusted for prints," Frost tells her.

"Ok."

"You don't think that it's a copycat, do you?"

"No, it's from him," Jane insists.

"He can't hurt you," Frost reminds her.

"I know. But, knowing him, this is only the beginning."

"I should look into this," he dismisses himself.

When he leaves Jane turns to Maura.

"What?" Maura questions.

"He always has an apprentice."

"He's dead, Jane."

"Why wouldn't he have someone who he could control, from beyond the grave?"

"He is just tormenting you."

"I'm sick of it."

"I know, but Frost will find whoever may, or may not be out there."

"He's probably been watching me."

"Who?"

"His apprentice."

"Jane, you are being paranoid."

"Maura I have a really bad feeling about this."

"Why don't we go get manicures, that will take your mind off of things?"

Jane furrows her brow.

"Right," Maura nods, "too many chemicals."

"Waste of money," Jane responds.

"If you say so."

"Maura, I don't think that the timing of this is coincidental."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know," she shrugs, "I'm just so confused."

"I know."

"I have been taking birth control long enough to know how not to get pregnant, not to mention, I didn't have..." she trails off, sighing in frustration.

"Were you on birth control at the time?"

"Yes."

"Can I see it?"

"Ok," Jane nods. She heads into the bathroom. She opens the medicine cabinet, and grabs the birth control.

She hands it to Maura. Maura carefully examines it. She furrows her brow. Without a word she grabs a paper towel, and goes over to the sink. She wets the paper towel, and wipes something off.

"What are you doing?"

"This has been tampered with."

"The pills?"

"The package. The expiration date was changed."

"So?"

"These are expired."

"Oh," her heart sinks.

"By a couple of years. They would be practically useless."

"I have been going to the same pharmacy for ten years."

"How often do you go to the doctor to get a prescription?"

"Once a year."

"Same doctor?"

"Yes."

Before the conversation can continue, Maura, and Jane's phones begin to ring. They answer, and within a few seconds they both hang up.

"Let's go," Jane insists.

"Are you sure?"

"We've got a murder to solve. My problems can wait."

"Are you sure?"

"They're not going anywhere."

"Ok," Maura nods.

The case that they get called out on, is grueling, and it puts Jane's letter on the back burner. That night, Jane finds herself at the Dirty Robber, alone. She sits at the table, in silence, with a beer, and a cheeseburger in front of her. She looks up, and motions for the waitress.

"Something wrong?"

"No," she shakes her head, this was her usual order, "Can I just get some water?"

"Sure," she nods.

The waitress returns, shortly with her glass of water. She walks away, and leaves Jane on her own. She's staring at her french fries, when someone walks past her. She looks up, and finds Frost sliding in the booth, across the table from her.

"You look deep in thought."

"I have a lot on my mind."

"You haven't touched your food, or your beer, what's wrong? Is this about the letter? We'll figure that out, as soon as this case is over."

"It's about my life."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing, never mind."

"Seriously, I've never seen something bother you enough to curb your appetite."

"Go ahead, I'm not hungry," she pushes the plate in his direction.

"Now, I know something is wrong."

"You can have the beer, too. I'm not going to drink it."

"Wow! Something must really be wrong."

"He's dead, and he's still playing games with me."

"He can't hurt you."

"I wish that I believed that."


	6. Open Heart

"Where were you yesterday?"

"I had to get a root canal. It was just supposed to be a routine cleaning, but I ended up with a root canal."

Frost looks at her, and raises an eyebrow, "No, you didn't. What really happened?"

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"Jane, I'm your partner."

"You don't have to know everything about me."

"Why don't you ever open up, to anyone?"

"I do."

"But, not me."

"It's complicated."

"Maybe I can offer some advice."

"I doubt it."

"Try me."

"Ok," she nods.

"Really?"

"You can't tell a soul, or I will deny it, and I will murder you, in your sleep."

"Fair enough. Shoot."

"I'm pregnant."

He doesn't say anything.

"Did you hear me?"

"I don't want to say the wrong thing."

"Ok."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I just found out."

"So what are you going to do?"

"There is nothing that I can do."

"Sure there is. Do, you mean, because you're catholic?"

"No," she shakes her head, "That doesn't really weigh into it."

"Does Maura know?"

"She's the only other person that I've told."

"That must be scary."

"You have no idea."

"You have plenty of time, to figure things out, don't you?"

"Not really."

"You've got, what, eight months?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"How..."

"I..." She lowers her voice, "I wish, that were true."

"How far along are you?"

"Too far along."

"Too far, what do you mean?"

"Too far, to do anything about it."

"Which, is how far?"

"Far enough, that I should have known."

"Oh."

"It's... I..."

"If you don't want to talk about it anymore, that's ok."

"I should be happy."

"It was unplanned, right?"

"I never wanted this."

"It's ok to be scared."

"This is..." she trails off.

"What?"

"I don't know what I'm going to do, or how I'm supposed to explain this."

"What do you mean?"

"Frost, I thought that maybe I was, three, or four weeks along."

"Ok."

"But I was way off."

"That's ok."

Jane shakes her head, "No, it's not. I am twenty five weeks along."

"What? You're kidding me, right?"

She shakes her head, solemnly, "No."

"That's more than six months," he points out.

"I feel... so guilty. I didn't know, and I certainly... didn't do the right things."

"It's ok. I'll help you figure it out."

"Frost," she chokes back tears, "I know that eventually the shock should wear off, and I should be happy, but I have the feeling that it's not going to."

"Why, is that?"

"I don't think that the letter was a coincidence."

"What do you mean?"

"You probably don't want to hear this," she begins.

"Tell me, anyway."

"I don't know who the father is."

"That's ok."

"No," she shakes her head, "It's not."

"How many possibilities are there? Two?"

"None."

He furrows his brow, "I don't understand."

"There was no one, twenty five weeks ago."

"Maybe there is someone that you forgot."

"There's not."

"Maybe they estimated wrong."

"It would have to be by eight weeks."

"Then how are you pregnant?"

Jane swallows hard, "I don't know. I can't explain it."

"Is this wear you tell me that you're just kidding, and that you had a donor?"

"No. Why would I do that? I don't want a kid."

"What are you saying?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

A light bulb goes off in his head. He catches a glimpse of the look in her eyes.

"You think that it has something to do with the letter from Hoyt?"

She simply nods, on the verge of tears.


	7. Heartbeats

After their case is over, Frost turns his attentions to the letter. The only DNA they find on the letter, is Hoyt's. The only prints they find are Hoyt's. The following Friday is rather slow, but Frost is still surprised to see Jane packing up so early.

"Where are you going?" Korsak questions.

"I have an appointment to go to," she tells him.

"What kind of appointment?" he inquires.

"With the eye doctor," she lies.

"I'll drive you," Frost offers.

"I'll be fine."

"You don't want to drive with your eyes dilated," he insists.

"But.."

"Let's go," he suggests.

When they get into her car she looks at him, in annoyance.

"You know that I'm not going to the eye doctor, right?"

"Yes."

"I have an appointment with my OB/GYN."

"Ok."

"You're going to go with me? Won't that..."

"Gross me out, and cross some lines, probably, but you shouldn't go alone."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," he answers.

He waits outside the exam room, for her. After several minutes, the doctor comes out. He smiles.

"She said that you could come in, now," he reveals.

"Ok," Frosts nods.

He enters the room. He sighs in relief when he sees that Jane is mostly covered. The ultrasound technician walks in behind him. She closes the door.

"Are you the father?" she questions, with bright eyes.

Before Jane can correct her, Frost answers, "Yes."

Jane looks at him, in surprise, but says nothing in response.

Frost watches, as an image appears on the screen. He looks at his partner, as the sound of the heartbeat fills the room. They listen for a few moments. She looks at the screen, with a sense of numbness. The tech, continues.

"Would you like to know what you're having?" The doctor quizzes.

Jane looks at Frost, for guidance. He smiles, widely, at her.

"It's up to you," he reminds her.

"Ok," she answers.

"Are you sure? If you're not, you can wait. If you decide you want to, we can tell you, and if not, that's fine too," the technician tells her.

"I don't like surprises," she admits.

"Ok, then," the young woman smiles.

"So, just tell me," Jane clarifies.

"It looks as if you're having a boy."

After a few more minutes, the doctor, and the technician leave. Frost steps out, so that she can get dressed. She quickly throws on her clothes, and leaves the room. He follows her to the reception area. She makes a follow up appointment, and the nurse hands her a bag with prescriptions, pamphlets, and pictures in it.

She leads the way to the car. They climb inside. Without a word, she takes a seat on the passenger's side. He makes his way into the drivers eat. She puts the key in the ignition.

"Jane?" he looks at her, as he closes his door, "Are you ok?"

She doesn't say a word, she just begins to cry. He reaches over, and pulls her into a hug.

"It's ok," he promises her.

"I can't do this."

"Yes you can," he promises her.

"I..."

He lets go of her, "Come on, I'll take you home."

"Ok."

He makes sure that she gets into the apartment safely. She locks the door behind her. She takes a shower, and curls up on the couch. She falls asleep, watching TV.

She wakes up, hours later, to the phone. She grabs her cell phone off of the coffee table. She pulls it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"It's just me," Maura tells her.

"Oh."

"Did you get home, ok?"

"Yeah."

"How was your appointment?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she answers.

"Ok."

"I'll talk to you later, I'm going to go to bed."

"Goodnight," Maura hangs up.

Jane flips on the light, and turns off the TV. She sits on the couch for a moment, trying to get up enough energy to go to bed. Finally, she gets off the couch, and goes to her room.

She wakes a couple of hours later, and heads into the kitchen. She ignores the coffee pot that is calling to her. She grabs a bottle of water. She heads into the living room, to curl up on the couch, knowing that sleep won't come. As she heads into the living room, she notices the envelope on the floor. She grabs a tissue, and goes to the door. She picks it up, and places it on the coffee table.

She reaches for her phone, and dials a familiar number. The party on the other end answers, after two rings.

"Hello?" he answers.

"I'm sorry that I woke you up."

"Jane, it's ok. What's wrong?"

"I found another one."

"I'll be right over," he promises her.

"Thank you."

She hangs up the phone. He rolls out of bed, and pulls on some clean clothes. He hops in his car, and drives over to Jane's apartment. He makes it in good time. Unfortunately, when he gets there, it's too late. He knocks on the door.

"Come in," she answers.

He opens the door, and steps into the apartment. He closes the door behind him. He looks at her. She sits on the couch sobbing.

"What happened?"

"I read it," she responds.

* * *

_A/N: So how many of you twisted individuals actually want the baby to be Hoyt's? Or are you all hoping that it ends up to be someone else's?_


	8. Burning Heart

"What did it say?"

"Terrible things."

"Jane, what did it say?"

"Read it for yourself," she responds, unable to utter such things, aloud.

He nods, and takes the letter from her. He begins to read it, to himself.

_Jane,_

_So by now you've found out about my little parting gift. I hope you enjoy it. I put a lot of thought into it. I am sure that you are wondering how I could leave you such a generous gift, after my death. Just know, I had this planned, for a long time, since the first time I met you. I knew that you were different, that what we had was special. So I thought that I would share the ultimate gift with you. There will be more letters to follow. Enjoy. Please, keep my gift._

_Charles._

Frost hands the letter back to her. He takes a seat on the couch next to her, as she drops the letter onto the coffee able, as if he's just handed her hot coals. He looks at her questioningly.

"The wheels in your head are turning, I can see that. I know that you're upset, and you hate opening up, but please, let me in. Let me help you. I'm your partner, and I can't protect you, if you don't explain this to me."

"Don't you get it?"

"Get what?"

"What he's talking about?"

"Jane, he always talks in code. I have no clue what he's talking about."

"I thought that I was crazy, that it was impossible, but..." she trails off, as the tears trail down her face.

"But, what?"

"The word abomination comes to mind," she answers.

He furrows his brow, "What are you talking about?"

She points at the letter, "That," and then to herself, "And this."

"What about them?"

"They are not unrelated."

"How do you figure?"

"Gift? Frost a gift? It's not a gift, it's a curse, a nightmare."

"Calm down."

"I can't. Don't you understand?"

"No, because I'm not in your head. I can't follow your train of thought, because I'm not on it."

"Two words," she answers, "Demon spawn."

His heart sinks, he understands what she's trying to tell him. He reads the letter again. Then he looks at her. He doesn't say anything.

"After the first letter, I had terrible thoughts. I dismissed them, because I thought they were impossible, but..."

"But?"

"So is me being pregnant."

"Ok?"

"And after the letter, I dreamt about Hoyt. And, when I woke up, I just wanted to vomit."

"Because?"

"I kept thinking about something he said to me."

"About what?"

"Something about it being one of my own."

"He was talking about the guard."

"What if he wasn't?"

"Tell me exactly what you think," he begs.

"I think that as impossible as it seems, he found away to.." she trails off, due to a thought that is to terrible to verbalize.

"To what?"

"Live on. He enjoys torturing me, so I make the perfect host, for his plan."

"His plan?"

"To..."

"Jane he's dead. He could not have impregnated you."

"Rationally, I know that. But, my gut, keeps screaming at me, saying that he did."

"How? How could he do that? He couldn't. He's dead."

"I know."

"So, just have a DNA test done, that's a simple way to alleviate your fears."

The following day she returns to the doctor, for the procedure. Maura pulls strings to get her in on a Saturday. The doctor collects the specimen, and Jane delivers it to Maura, to perform the test.

She sits at her desk, anxiously awaiting Maura's call. She stares at her phone, that lies on her desk, willing it to ring. She prays that it's good news, but her stomach ties itself into knots.

Jane is sitting at her desk, waiting on the results, when someone from the mail room comes to deliver mail. He places a stack, on each detective's desk. Jane thumbs through it. Halfway through, she freezes. She sets aside a piece of mail, and is faced with all too familiar handwriting.

Frost notices that all color suddenly drains from her face. He watches as she attempts not to draw any attention to herself. She pulls her drawer open, and gets out a pair of gloves. She puts them on, and grabs a letter opener. She slices it open, and begins to read. She finishes the letter, and drops it on to her desk.

Frost moves to her, as she peels off her gloves, and throws them in the trash. She begins to hyperventilate. Without a word, he picks up the letter, with his gloved hands. He looks at her. He offers her his hand.

"Let's go see Maura," he says calmly.

Everyone else is so busy, that they are able to leave the room, unnoticed. They get into the elevator, and Jane breaks down. By the time that they reach the basement, Jane is sobbing. She follows Frost into Maura's office.

Maura sits at her desk. She looks up, when she sees the two of them, coming into the room.

"Do you have the results yet?" He questions.

"Not yet. What happened?" she queries.

"Another letter."

"Did you read it?" she asks Frost.

"No, but she did." He places the letter on Maura's desk. He backs away, and leaves the room. He closes the door behind himself. Jane sits on Maura's couch, unable to control herself.

Maura takes a seat next to her, she hugs her closely.

"It's ok."

"Nothing is ok," Jane answers.


	9. Heartsick

"Jane, everything is going to be ok. Things will work themselves out."

"No, they won't. You didn't read it."

"What did the letter say?" Maura questions.

"I, can't even repeat it."

"That's ok."

"No," Jane shakes her head, "It's not. The things it that letter are so evil, and terrible, and completely unthinkable that it makes me sick, just thinking about it."

"Calm down."

"Read the letter," Jane instructs her, as she vacates the seat on the couch.

"Where are you going?"

"To throw up," Jane answers.

She leaves Maura's office, and heads into the next room. She stops at the sink, and pulls her hair out of the way. She heaves into the sink, as Maura leaves the couch, and goes to her desk. She picks up the letter, and begins to read it, to herself.

_Jane,_

_You're a smart girl. I am sure that now you are suspicious. You wonder why these letters are arriving, so shortly after you have found out the news. You are asking yourself if you're being irrational, having these thoughts. But, then again, it's impossible for you to be pregnant, isn't it? If my plan has worked, my gift is growing, with each passing second. A gift, that you don't want. I am one for suspense, but by now, I'm dead, so I won't keep you waiting. I thought for a very long time, what the perfect gift would be, to leave to you. Finally, as I was sitting in my cell, one day, it hit me. A gift, that you could not return. One, that would leave you scarred forever, and that you couldn't give back, not easily. _

_It took a while, to come together, but finally it did. I found someone, willing to watch you, and be patient. I told him to wait, and that he couldn't touch you. He can't have you for himself. My task for him was far too important. You must be wondering how I managed to pull it off. First I started, by saving some of myself, for you. I gave the sample to him. He stored it properly, so that it would be viable._

_He waited for the perfect timing. First he switched out your birth control, for something completely inactive. He used his connections to acquire Propofol. He watched you, and waited for the perfect time. Then he snuck into your apartment, one evening, and injected you with the Propofol, so that you would have no recollection. And from there, the rest is history. The seed was sewn. _

_I hope when you see him, or her for the first time, it reminds you of me. _

_Hoyt._

Maura drops the letter. Jane stands in the doorway, looking at her. She takes a deep breath, and returns to the couch. Maura stares at her, in silence. Jane sits on the couch, with her legs pulled to her chest, tears trail down her face. She breathes in and out, willing herself not to throw up, with each one.

Maura moves towards the couch. She takes a seat next to Jane. She says nothing, due to a complete uncertainty of where to begin. She allows the silence between them, to fill up the room. Jane wipes the tears off her tear stained face, and chokes back the urge to vomit, gain. She clears her throat, and then begins to speak.

"His plan, worked out even better than he expected. He couldn't have known that I would have placenta previa, and that I wouldn't find out, until it was too late for me to do anything."

"You can still do something," Maura argues.

"I have to give birth to a demon spawn. Whatever happens after that, doesn't matter. I have to live with it, for the rest of my life."

"Jane, maybe..."

"Maybe what? It's not true? Come on, Maura, we both know that it is."

"I don't know that. The test results aren't in yet."

"Did I tell you, that I am..." she exhales, trailing off.

"That you, what?"

"I had an appointment on Friday."

"You didn't tell me that."

"And I found out, that... it's a boy," she begins to cry even harder.

Maura hugs her, as she sobs, uncontrollably. Maura's heart breaks for her.

"Jane, this is a game for him. Maybe he..."

"There is no maybe. Maura, he did this, I'm sure of it."

"I don't know what to say."

"There is nothing to say."

"What are you going to do?" Maura questions, stupidly.

"I don't want this. I have never wanted this. No one would want this, under these circumstances."

"I know."

"The worst part of it is, that _I _feel guilty."

"What do you have to feel guilty for?"

"Everything."

"You didn't do anything."

"I didn't know. I didn't have any prenatal care, until twenty five weeks. I drank coffee, and alcohol, and..." she trails off.

"And what?"

"If it," she hesitates, "If he has something wrong with him, it will be my fault."

"You can't think like that."

"But, most of all, I feel guilty, because, I..." she trails of, as the tears fall from her eyes, and run down her cheeks.

"Because of what?"

"I don't want it. I want it to go away. I hate it, and I hate that I feel that way. Maura, I should be able to love it, even if it was a surprise, and I was unprepared, and felt like I didn't want it, but I can't. I can't make myself want it, or like it, or love it, and..." she pauses, "That makes me feel like a monster."

Maura stares at her, unsure of what to say, or what to do. She feels as if, she, herself is going to cry. Before she can respond her computer dings.

Jane dries her cheeks with the back of her hand, "Go," she begs.

"Jane..."

"You have to."

"Why? Your mind is already made up."

"I need you. Maura, I need you to use science, and rationality, to prove my gut wrong. I just want to be wrong this time."

Maura rises from her seat, on the couch. She goes over to her desk, and steps in front of the computer. She opens the results. She reads them to herself. Jane doesn't take her eyes off of her. Maura blinks, trying to figure out how to handle this. She couldn't lie to her. She couldn't lie to her best friend.

Her mind goes to an innocent child. To a black and white picture, she had seen, just a week ago. She swallows hard, and puts on the best fake smile she's ever worn.

Jane looks at Maura, pulse quickening, panic setting in, anticipating bad news. She studies Maura's face, trying to decide if Maura's smile is a nervous one, or not.

"Well?" Jane questions, unable to wait any longer.

"He's not," Maura answers.


	10. Between a Rock, and A Heart Place

Frost takes Jane home that night, ensuring that she's gotten home safely. After he leaves her apartment, he heads over to Maura's. He knocks once, and she lets him in. He follows her into the kitchen, where she's drinking wine.

"Can I get you something? A beer?"

Frost studies the half empty bottle of wine, and then looks at Maura.

"No, I'm not staying long."

"Did Jane get home, ok?"

"Yeah," he nods.

"Good."

"Maura?"

"Yes?"

"It won't fix it. You know that, right?"

"What?"

"You can't make a fairy tale ending, out of a tragedy."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Jane told me what you said."

"And?"

"It will make things worse, not better."

"What are you talking about?"

"Now she is going to wonder what is wrong with her. She is going to question why she can't love her own child, why she can't remember his conception. She'll feel even guiltier, especially because she has no clue who the father is."

"Jane is tough, she is going to be fine."

"If you really believe that, why have you had half a bottle of wine since you got home?"

She takes a seat, on the stool, in front of the island. He leans up against the countertop of the island.

"Maura, why did you lie to her?"

"I don't lie."

"Usually. You rarely lie. Tonight, was one of those rare exceptions. Why? Why did you lie to her?"

"Nobody, should ever have to go through, what she's going through."

"You did lie to her?"

Maura finishes her glass of wine, "What choice did I have?"

"She is going to hate you, when she finds out, and you know, that she will find out."

"That's ok."

"Really?"

"I would her rather her hate me."

"Oh."

"So would you like a beer?"

"No, I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I've got to get back to the station. I have to figure out who the apprentice is, so that maybe, one day Jane will be able to sleep again."

"You're a good partner, you know that?"

"Maura, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"I am no expert on..."

She cuts him off, "You want to know, how she didn't know?"

"Yeah."

"She has a condition called placenta previa. It causes her to bleed so..."

"She probably thought that..." He trails off.

"She thought that it was her period."

"But..."

"She should have felt it move," Maura admits.

"But she didn't?"

"She probably did, and just didn't realize it."

"She's six and a half months along, why isn't she showing?"

"Everyone is different."

"In other words, you have no idea why she's not."

"Exactly."

"Maura, I don't know that she'll ever be able to get over this."

"That was his plan, I think."

"Even in death, he still has a grip on her."

"And, now, he probably will, for the rest of her life."

"What do we do for her?" he questions.

She shrugs, "I don't know."

"You've started lying, which can't be a good sign."

"I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't tell her the truth. Honestly, Frost, I didn't even want to."

"You're certain about the test results?"

"Yes."

"So there is no doubt, that it is his?"

"None," she admits.

"Then, I really have work to do," he admits.

"You should go," she agrees.

"Put the wine away," he tells her.

Jane finds herself in the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror, that hangs on the back of the door. She wears a tank top, and a pair of boxers. She rolls up the bottom of her shirt. She stands in the mirror, and stares.

She stares at her abdomen. She could admit, it wasn't as tight as it used to be, but... work had been hell the past few months, and the time at the gym had decreased greatly. Still, she can't make herself understand it. Six, and a half months... she shudders at the thought. Against her will, she touches her stomach.

The reaction is movement. Her heart jumps into her throat, as she feels the movement. She rolls her shirt down. She leaves the room, and crawls into bed. She closes her eyes, in an attempt to deny what's going on inside of her.

She wakes up several times that night. When she finally wakes up, for the day, she smells bacon, and eggs. She gets out of bed, and heads into the kitchen. She isn't entirely surprised to find her mother standing in her kitchen.

"So you're breaking, and entering now?"

"I used my key. I thought I would cook breakfast for you."

"Why?"

"You worked a lot of hours this week."

"So?"

"I'm trying to be nice to you, and you have been avoiding me the past few days."


	11. Half The Heart

"I haven't been avoiding you, I've just been busy."

"Janey, is there something on your mind?"

"No, why?"

"You seem preoccupied."

"I'm fine."

Jane is relieved when her phone starts ringing. She grabs it off the kitchen counter, and answers it.

"Rizzoli," she answers. After fifteen seconds, she hangs up, and looks at her mother.

"Work?" Angela questions.

"Sorry, Ma, I've got to go."

"Take some with you."

"Eggs don't travel well," she points out.

Angela tosses some strips of bacon into a baggy. She hands it to Jane. She grabs it, and heads for the door.

"Jane, are you going to get dressed first?"

Jane looks at her outfit. She places the baggy on the table, and heads to her room. She pulls on the first clean thing that she can find, and returns to the kitchen. She grabs the bacon, and heads for the car.

When she gets to the scene, Frost sniffs her. Jane shoots him a questioning look.

"You smell like, bacon," he accuses.

"My mother broke into my apartment this morning, and made me breakfast."

"I wish you mother would break into _my_ place, and make _me_ breakfast," Frost admits.

"You can have her," Jane offers.

Frost looks at Maura, who hovers over the body, "Wouldn't you like to have Angela break into your house, and cook you breakfast?" Frost inquires.

Maura smiles, "She does, all the time," Maura tells him.

"And this morning?" Frost questions, keeping the conversation light.

"We had egg whites, and turkey bacon," she answers.

"You don't smell like bacon," Frost points out.

"I had time to shower, Jane probably ate hers in the car, on the way here," Maura shoots Jane a look.

"Am I that predictable?" Jane raises an eye brow.

"With food? Yes, absolutely," Maura confirms.

Hours later, Barry, and Jane sit in interrogation. Frost looks at the man, across the table. He looks at his partner, and can see that she's got it covered. His phone rings. He glances at his partner once again. She nods, subtly.

"I've got to take this," he tells her.

"I've got this," she responds.

He steps out of the room, and takes the call. After a brief conversation, he heads down stairs, to meet Maura. He finds her in the lab.

"You said that you have something for me?"

Maura holds up a letter, with a gloved hand. He frowns, upon seeing it.

"Where did you get that?"

"It came from the mail room."

"Addressed to you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. I haven't read it yet."

"And, what do you want me to do?"

"Read it."

"Then what?"

"Throw it away."

"You don't want to know what's in it?"

"Just read it, please," she begs.

He nods. She hands him a pair of gloves. He uses a scalpel to slice it open. He unfolds the piece of paper, inside, and begins to read.

_Dr. Isles,_

_You're blood pressure, is probably greatly elevated, now that you, too have received a letter. I didn't forget about you. I would hate for you to be left out. I don't mind sharing. There is enough of me to go around. You'll be next. Or, maybe, you already were. _

_Charles_

_P.S. Happy hunting, detective Frost._

Frost calmly refolds the paper, and sticks it into the envelope. Maura stares at him, expectantly. She waits for him to say something, but he doesn't.

"Well?" she inquires.

"You shouldn't read it," he tells her.

"Why not?"

"It will make you paranoid."

"Do I have a reason to be?"

"No," he shakes his head.

"You're just saying that, aren't you?"

"Dr. Isles I would love to stay, and chat, but while my partner is throwing a murder in jail, I've got to catch the courier."

"The courier?" she raises an eyebrow.

"Would you prefer messenger?"

"You, mean apprentice?"

"We're not using that term."

"Why not?"

"Because if Korsak hears it, he'll know that something is up. He doesn't know anything."

"You're only one person."

"And, I am going to protect Jane."

"From Korsak?"

"From having to explain a painful truth, to people. I am trying to keep her secret."

"You can't keep it forever."

"For now, is good enough."

"And when you can't keep it, any longer?"

"I'll figure something out. Jane is my partner, and I'll do whatever it takes, to protect her."

"You can't protect her."

"Don't tell her that," he answers, leaving the room. He slips the letter into an evidence bag, and tucks it into his pocket. He tosses his gloves in the trashcan, on the way out.


	12. Screaming Heart

He pulls the cell phone out of his pocket.

"Frost," he answers, exhausted.

"Can you tell me, again, why I'm sitting outside of Maura's house?" An irritated voice on the other end asks.

"I told you, Frankie, if you want to make detective, you have to learn not to question things," Frost muses.

"I could be sleeping. I'm off the clock," Frankie reminds him.

"Just think of it as a favor, for me."

"What do I get in return?"

"The satisfaction of keeping a citizen safe."

"From what?"

"From who," Barry answers.

"From who?"

"That's a good question."

"The answer being?"

"I don't have one yet," Barry reveals.

"Yet?"

"I'm working on it. You do your job, and I'll do mine."

Jane, wakes up, on her couch. She flips the TV off. She listens closely for a minute. She hears voices, outside of her apartment door. She grabs her gun off the coffee table, and slowly approaches her locked door. She looks out the peephole. At first she doesn't see anyone. When she looks down, and to her left, she sees the culprit. She unlocks the door, and pulls it open.

"What are you doing out here?" she questions.

"Uh, I've got to go," Frost hangs up the phone.

He sits in the hallway, outside of her apartment, with his laptop on his lap, and his gun on his hip.

"Again, I ask, what are you doing out here?"

"This hallway, has got the best lighting for my laptop," He holds the computer up, so she can see the screen, "See, no glare."

"It's has the best lighting in the world?" Jane responds, skeptically.

"In the tri-state area," he answers, matter-of-factly.

"What are you doing?"

"Working."

"You're off the clock."

"That doesn't matter."

"Will you come in?"

"I can't man the door, if I'm inside," he responds.

"Come on," she motions for him.

He gets up off the floor, and follows her inside. She locks the door, behind him.

"Frost, I don't need you to babysit me," she tells him.

"I'm not," he argues, "I am babysitting your door."

"Oh, I see."

"Are you still up? It's two o'clock in the morning."

"I woke up, because someone was talking."

"Sorry, I was on the phone."

"With who?"

"My girlfriend."

"So, you were talking to Frankie?"

"He's my girlfriend?"

"Yes," Jane, nearly smiles.

"Yes, I was talking to Frankie. You caught me."

"Why?"

"It's a long story," he admits.

"You might as well man the couch, if you're going to stay. It's more comfortable than the floor, in the hallway."

"Jane," he begins.

"Yes?"

"I need your help. I've hit a brick wall."

"With?"

"Finding the courier."

"The what?"

"Apprentice," he corrects, hoping that she won't pick up on what he's just said.

"The courier, that's clever," she admits.

"That's just what _I_ call him."

"You came up with that, all by yourself?"

"Yeah. So will you help me? You can use your mad skills, and..."

She cuts him off, "Frost, I want to, but I can't."

"Jane, you know, I'm here if you need to talk."

"Thanks, but I'm going to bed."

"Ok," he nods.

She heads into her bedroom. She leaves the door cracked, so she can hear him, or the other way around. She climbs under the covers, and waits for sleep to come. Finally it does. Soon, she feels herself being shaken into consciousness.

She opens her eyes, and the light from her lamp makes her blink. She sees her partner, standing next to her. She furrows her brow, and frowns.

"What?"

"Are you ok?"

"I was, until you woke me up."

"You were screaming, in your sleep."

"I do that, sometimes," she admits.

"Oh. So you've been having night terrors?"

"And, sometimes I even sleep walk. Just ignore it."

"I tried."

"What was I screaming?"

"You kept screaming, the pharmacist, over, and over again."

"The pharmacist?"

"Yes. Does that mean anything to you?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"Your pharmacist?"

She shrugs.

A light bulb turns on, in his head. "Jane, does your pharmacy make deliveries."

"I never have anything delivered."

"That's not what I'm asking."

"Yes," she responds.

"You said that you used the same pharmacy, has it always had the same pharmacist?"

"Since the beginning of time? No."

"Since you've gone there?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"Are you sure?'

"Yes," she nods.

"Oh, I thought we were on to something," he replies, in disappointment.

"The pharmacy technician..." she begins.

"What about her?"

"Him, he's been there for... at least ten years. I think he started there, right out of high school."

"He's still there?"

"Started college, but I'm not sure that he ever graduated. He still works there."


	13. Tender Heart

She blinks, "Now I'm awake," she admits.

"It's only four thirty, go back to sleep," he insists, standing at her bedside.

"I can't now," she growls.

"Because you want to work?" he hopes.

"No," she shakes her head.

"Do you want me to stay in here, until you go to sleep?" He offers.

"Barry, you need some sleep, too."

"You need it worse than I do."

"Please go to sleep," she begs.

"Only if you do," he counters.

"Not until you do," she answers.

"Fine, I'll go back to the couch," he decides.

"You'll start working."

"So, what do you propose I do, instead?"

"Just stay in here."

"I'll sit down here, and wait for you to fall asleep."

"You don't have to sit on the floor. You can get closer than that."

"I think that's crossing a line, isn't it?"

"No."

"You want me to sleep on the floor?"

"No," she argues, "No, I don't. And, no you won't."

"So what, I sleep in here, and you go to the couch? I'm not going to let you sleep on the couch," he argues.

"It's a king sized bed, and we're both adults," Jane counters.

"What's your point?"

"And.." she trails off.

He looks at her, "And what?"

"I'm big and pregnant. Nothing is going to happen. You'll be asleep in two minutes, anyway. Just get over there," she insists, pointing to the opposite side of the bed. .

He reluctantly gets on the other side of the bed. He positions himself on top of the covers.

"You don't look comfortable," she points out.

"I'm fine," he lies.

She flips the light off. He lies there, staring at the ceiling, waiting for her to go to sleep.

"Frost, if we miss the letter, it's ok."

"No," he argues, "It's not. I want to catch the guy."

"So do I. That's why I put a hidden camera, outside of the apartment."

"Good thinking."

"Are you going to tell Maura that my brother is staking out her house?"

"How did you know?"

"I saw the letter."

"I didn't think you needed anything else to worry about."

"I'm not going to break."

"But, you might breakdown."

"Is that a jab at me being pregnant?"

"No," he lies.

"I would hope not."

"Get some rest, Jane."

"I never rest."

"I need to ask you something."

"Ok," she sighs.

"You don't have to answer, if you don't want to."

"It is a free country. Go ahead."

"How are you going to explain this, to your mother?"

"I'm not," she answers.

"You have to, don't you?"

"No."

"She's going to figure out, eventually."

"No," she argues, "she won't."

"She will."

"I am going to lie."

"And say what?"

"I don't know," she admits.

"She won't understand why you're not going to keep it."

"I know."

"You're not keeping it, are you?"

"No, I'm not keeping it. I don't want it."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry."

"What should I be?"

"Pissed."

"I am."

"I can't do this."

"What is you plan?"

"I don't have one," she realizes.

"Jane, there is something that you should know."

"Is this your explanation as to why, you didn't tell me about the letter to Maura?"

"You have enough on your plate."

"He said she was next."

"I know."

"She lied to me, didn't she?"

"Who?"

"Maura."

"About what?"

"The test results."

"That is something that you would have to take up with her."

"Frost, you're my partner, tell me the truth."

"I don't..." he trails off.

"You don't what?"

"Want to break you," he responds.

"Break me? How would you break me?"

"I..."

"Just answer me. You won't break me."

"Yes, she lied."

"I knew it."

"We can talk about this in the morning, get back to sleep."

"It is morning."

"Sleep, Jane."

"I can't. What if we can't protect her, either? What if it's already too late?"

"Don't play the what if game," he warns.

She hits him, hard, with a pillow. He rolls over, closer to his edge of the bed. She sighs.

"You're going to roll out of bed, just go to sleep," she warns.

"You first," he counters.

She rolls towards him, and grabs him by the shirt. He tugs on him, until he's no longer teetering on the edge of the bed. She returns to her side.

"I promise not to breathe on you, or anything," she tells him.


	14. No Heart To Heart

She waits for Maura to finish for the day. She sits in her office, with the door closed. Maura comes in, from autopsy. She looks up, and is surprised to find Jane sitting at her desk, waiting on her."Are you done for the day?" Maura questions.

"It's almost ten o'clock," Jane answers.

"So, yes?"

"Yes," Jane nods.

"Is there a reason that you're in here?"

"Yes."

"Would you like to tell me what it is?"

"You lied to me," Jane begins.

Maura sinks into her chair. Her heart sinks.

"Jane..." she begins.

"Don't," Jane warns, shaking her head.

"I..."

"No."

"Please, just let me explain," Maura insists.

"You don't need to explain. I understand what you were trying to do, but... right now, I just need you to tell me the truth. I can't handle anymore lies, or games."

"Ok," Maura nods, in understanding.

On Sunday, she finds herself, sitting across the table, from her mother, in a diner. She stares out the window, towards the street. Angela clears her throat, but Jane ignores her.

"Jane?"

"Hmm?" she responds, looking out the window, at the sidewalk, in front of them.

"You're being awfully quiet."

"I'm tired."

"Is everything ok?"

"Just fine," she lies, avoiding eye contact.

"Jane, look at me."

Jane looks at her, "What, ma?"

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing," she lies.

"Don't lie to me," Angela warns.

"Ma, I don't want to talk about it."

"I do."

"Not, now," she responds.

"Janey, what's going on?"

"Why do you assume that something's going on, just because I'm being quiet?"

"Because you didn't touch your food."

"I'm not hungry."

"You're a Rizzoli, that's an oxymoron."

Jane tries to avoid looking her mother in the eyes. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"And you don't want to talk about it?"

"I can't."

"Can't, or won't?"

"There are some things, that you don't want to hear."

"You don't want to share, I get it."

"I do, just not now."

"Then, when?"

"Later."

"When is later?"

"I'll let you know, when I figure it out, for myself."

"Is it about work?"

"No. Contrary to popular belief my entire world does not revolve around work."

"Just most of it."

"Right," Jane nods.

"When are you going to find a husband?"

"When I do, I'll let you know."

"Are you ever going to get married, and give me grandchildren?"

"I don't know," Jane begins to feel the walls closing in.

"At this point, I would settle for one, or the other."

"Ok, Ma, enough."

"I just want, what every mother wants for her daughter."

"Her to grow up, and be successful?"

"I just want you to find a man who completes you. A man you fall in love with, and marry, and raises children with. Someone you can live happily ever after with."

"Ma, happily ever after is a lie that is told to children."

"When did you become so jaded?"

"I've been a cop for most of my adult life, so, it's been a while."

"Do you ever think about it?"

"Where is Maura," Jane looks at her watch, "she was supposed to be here half an hour ago."

"Jane, you're avoiding the question."

"For a reason."

"Do you ever think about getting married, and starting a family? Wouldn't you love to make me a grandmother?"

Without a word, Jane gets out of the booth, she stands up, and leaves the table. She practically runs out of the diner. Angela watches, in confusion. A few moments later, Maura comes into the diner.

"Where's Jane?" Maura questions.

"I don't know," Angela shrugs, "She just ran out of here, without a word."

"Did she get a call?"

"I was asking her if she was ever going to get married, and give me grandchildren, and she just ran out."

"Oh."

"Oh? You say that as if you know something, that I don't."

"I would tell you, if I did," Maura lies.

"Would you?" she raises an eyebrow.

"I wouldn't worry about it," Maura answers, coyly, hoping to avoid getting hives, and giving herself away.

"She barely said two words, the whole time we were waiting on you. Do you know what's going on with her?"

"It's hard to tell what's going on in Jane's head," Maura skirts the question.

"There are things that a girl tells her best friend, and not her mother."

"I am sure that when she's ready, she will tell you."

"She's been so withdrawn lately."

"It's been a rough couple of weeks at work."

"She said it wasn't about work."

"I think she's just going through some personal stuff."

"Like what?"

Maura shrugs.

"It worries me, you know? She's quiet, and withdrawn. She wouldn't eat. I wish that she would just tell me what's going on."


	15. Heart On The Floor

Frost finds Jane, in evidence, sifting through boxes, after a call from Maura. Jane sits on the floor, digging, silently. He takes a seat next to her, on the floor.

"I thought I would find you down here."

"Maura called?"

"Your mother is worried about you."

"I know."

"Are you going to tell her?

"And break her heart? No, I'll pass."

"Jane, I promise you, we're going to catch him."

"They're like cockroaches. Kill one, and there are ten more, just like them."

"I know. Why don't I take you home?"

"Why? So I can sit alone in my apartment, and obsess?"

"It's better than sitting down here, on the cold, hard floor."

"It's all I can do."

"You don't need to do anything.""But..."

"Come on..."

"Frost, don't treat me like an invalid. That's another reason I don't want anyone to know."

He lowers his voice, in case there is anyone else down in the basement, with them, "You are seven months pregnant. I can treat you like you are, if the situation calls for it."

"I hate this. I feel so uncomfortable all the time."

"When was the last time you ate?"

"I just left dinner..."

"You didn't eat. When was the last time you ate?"

"I had cereal, for breakfast this morning."

"Why aren't you eating?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Have you been sleeping?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"You have big dark circles under your eyes."

"I want some coffee."

"Then have some."

"Guilty conscience," she responds.

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't want to do anything else, wrong."

"You're not keeping him," he points out.

"But, someone will, I hope."

"Let me take you home."

"I'm fine," she argues.

"You're not fine. Stop lying to me. Let me take you home. We'll order pizza."

"We?"

"I'm not leaving you alone."

"I am a grown woman, I'll be fine, Detective."

"You won't get any sleep."

"You're going to protect me?"

"I have a gun, and a badge."

"So do I, but it didn't make any difference."

"Jane, please."

"Fine," Jane huffs.

The following morning, when she gets up, she heads into the kitchen, in her pajamas, without a second thought. She finds Frost standing by the coffee maker. He watches her.

"What?" she inquires.

"Nothing," he looks away.

"Is there something that you want to ask me?"

"Nope," he lies.

"Just ask it. At this point, I don't think that there is anything you can't ask me."

"What scares you the most?"

"About what?"

"The situation."

"I don't know," she lies.

"Of course you do. Is it the part where you have to give birth?"

"No, I think that will be a relief."

"But it's going to bring up a whole other set of emotions."

"Maybe."

"You realize that..."

"It won't be over. I know that. Frost, it's never going to be over. He made sure of that."

"Are you afraid that..."

"I guess, that I'm afraid, that no one will want him."

"Why would you be afraid of that? Of course someone will want him."

"But I don't want him. The worst part, is that it's not his fault, none of it is."

"But it doesn't change the way that you feel."

"Not at all."

"You just want it all to go away, don't you?"

"Wouldn't you?"

"I promise, I'm going to find this guy."

"I know, you will."

Frost grabs his coffee, and leaves the apartment. Jane leaves shortly after him. She heads into the station. She meets Maura in the cafeteria. Maura hands her a doughnut, and they head to a table. They take a seat. Both of them avoid eye contact with Angela.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" Maura questions.

"Some."

"Did he stay with you, again?"

"Yes."

"He blames himself, you know."

"Why would he? He didn't do this."

"But he thinks that he could have stopped it."

"How?"

"I don't know," Maura shrugs.

"There is something I want to talk to you about."

"Ok," Maura nods.

"Not here, not now."

"About what?"

"I'll tell you later."

"Why are you being so mysterious?"

"There are a lot of ears in here."


	16. Heart Palpitations

Jane puts her conversation with Maura on the back burner. A few weeks pass, before Maura brings it up. She's sitting on Jane's couch, waiting for Jane to get out of the bathroom, so that they can go to lunch, on their Sunday off.

"Sorry," Jane apologizes.

"It's ok."

"I pee all the time," Jane growls, "It's really irritating."

"What did you want to talk to me about, the other day?"

"The other day?" Jane raises an eyebrow.

"About two weeks ago."

"Oh, it's nothing."

"Tell me, or I am going to take you shopping."

"For what?"

"New clothes."

"I don't need new clothes," she argues.

"Lift up your shirt."

"Why?"

"I want to see how you are buttoning your pants."

"I haven't gained that much weight."

"I know that you haven't. I also know that you have gained enough weight to make those pants not fit."

"They're a little bit snug, but they'll be fine," she argues.

"Let me see," Maura insists.

Jane rolls up the bottom of her shirt, so that Maura can see the waistband of her pants.

"Really? You are using a safety pin?"

"They don't button anymore."

"So buy new pants."

"I don't want new pants."

"I will buy them for you."

"No."

"Why not?"

Jane plops down on the couch, "Because it makes this all real."

"It is real. It's not going away. You know that, right?"

"But I keep hoping that..."

"Jane you have to buy some new clothes. None of what you have fits you."

"So?"

"People are going to start asking questions."

"By people, do you mean my mother?"

"Yes, those people," Maura smiles.

"It's too hard."

"To buy a new pair of pants? You can buy what you already have, in a bigger size."

"Then it's real."

"Jane, it is real. You know that."

"I know. I sit in the ultrasounds, but it still seems impossible. It seems unreal. How could I be thirty weeks along, with a baby, I didn't plan? How could I be pregnant with a baby I didn't want? I'm having a child, whose conception I don't remember, and probably never will. In seven to ten weeks, I'll be giving birth to a baby boy, who I don't want. A little boy, who, as of yet, doesn't have a home. All because I was artificially inseminated with the frozen sperm, of a dead, psychopath, who made my life living Hell, and still is, even in death. Maura, I'm just not ready to deal with that."

"First of all, it's just new pants. Second of all, as hard as it is for you, and as easy as it is for me to say, you have to figure out how to deal with it. You don't have much time, before the unborn baby you see in the ultrasound, is here. Then, you have to deal with it."

"I am in denial, but I can't really deny it. He moves, all the time, and I hate it."

"What are you going to do?"

Jane looks at her best friend, "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Ok," Maura nods.

"Would you want him?"

Maura furrows her brow, "Jane I don't think that's a good idea. I'm your best friend. I see you everyday. You would see him all the time. He would be a constant reminder of..." she trails off.

"And you don't think that I am going to be constantly reminded, anyway?"

"I don't know," Maura shrugs.

"I don't know if I would be ok with that, but... I would like you to think about it."

"Why?"

"I trust you. As much as I don't want him, I..." she breaks down.

Maura watches, as the tears fall. She hands Jane a tissue. Jane wipes away tears.

She sniffles, and continues, "I still want him to be happy. It can't be with me, but..." she swallows hard.

"But what?"

"I trust you. I trust you not to turn him into a monster. To do all the things that I can't. Will you please just consider it?"

"Yes," Maura nods.

Jane's phone begins to ring. She looks at the screen, and answers the phone.

"Rizzoli," she responds.

"Jane, I need you to come down here, please," Frost tells her.

"Now?"

"Yes," Frost responds sternly.

Jane heads into the station. She finds Frost standing outside of interrogation, with her Lieutenant, and Korsak. She furrows her brow, at the scene in front of her. She shoots Frost a questioning look.

"Jane, I need you to give me permission to hand over all the evidence," Frost informs her.

"What?"

"I caught him," Frost answers.

"Are you sure?" she questions.

"I'm sure," Barry answers.

"Ok," Jane nods.

"Would you like to have a minute?" the Lieutenant wonders.

"Can we speak in your office?" Jane inquires.

"Sure," Cavanaugh nods.

She follows him into his office. She closes the door behind him. He stands in front of her, awaiting her explanation.

"Have a seat," she suggests.

"I'm fine."

"You should have a seat," she replies.

He takes a seat, behind his desk. She sits across from him.

"What's going on? I have a guy under arrest, and my detective refused to tell me what for. You get here, and close the door, and tell me to have seat."

"I'm pregnant," she answers.

He furrows his brow in confusion, "I don't understand."

"I know. I'll explain."

"I am pretty familiar with how it happens," he admits, "How far along are you? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Pretty far, but... it's complicated," she admits.


	17. Heart To Heart

"Ok, I'm waiting."

"I am pregnant, with..." she trails off.

"With what?"

"Charles Hoyt's joy in life was torturing me."

"I don't see the connection."

"You will," she promises.

"Ok, continue."

"The man in interrogation, was, what I hope is Hoyt's last apprentice."

"He murdered someone?"

"I am not sure of that. What I know that he did, is quite the opposite actually."

"Rizzoli..."

"He was given one specific task."

"And what was that?"

"To study me, stalk me, and learn everything possible about me, down to the most personal detail. After all of his research, he would wait, for the right time."

"The right time, for what?"

"To sneak into my apartment, while I was sleeping, inject me with propofol, and then..." she trails off.

"And then, what?"

"Artificially inseminate me, with the previously cryogenically preserved sperm, of Charles Hoyt."

"You're joking, right?"

"No," she answers, barely holding it together.

"You're..."

"I'm pregnant, with..."

"You're sure?"

"DNA confirmed it, weeks ago."

"I thought that you had to wait a while to have those tests done."

"I have low lying placenta."

"I don't think I need to know that. I'm not sure of it's relevance."

"Because of it, I bleed, sometimes."

"I really didn't need to know that."

"You do. I didn't know, until it was too late."

"Too late? For what?"

"To do anything."

"How far along are you?"

"Thirty weeks."

"Oh," he swallows hard.

"And I found out five weeks ago."

"Oh," he frowns, furrowing his brow, trying not to stare.

"I should have told you, what was going on, sooner, but..."

"It's understand, you were in shock."

"Maura, and Barry were the only people that I told. Frost has been looking for this guy, since the letters started showing up."

"Letters?"

"From Hoyt."

"Hoyt is dead."

"He wrote them, before he died. His apprentice delivered them, by hand."

"That's why Frost was calling him the courier?"

"Yes," Jane nods.

* * *

Maura, and Lieutenant Cavanaugh, sit behind the glass, as Frost begins to interrogate the suspect.

"I know what you did," Frost begins.

"You can't prove anything."

"I know everything, and I can prove it all."

"How?"

"You left your DNA behind."

"You're making things up," the suspect responds, coyly.

"You only wore one glove. I know, because I found your DNA, on the door frame, outside of her door. You cut your hand, on the splintered piece of trim around the door. I have your skin cells."

"That is circumstantial."

"I found out something very interesting, and sickening."

"What?"

"Did he ever tell you, why he picked you?"

"I'm smart."

"You're an idiot, whose had the same low paying entry level job your entire adult life."

"That doesn't make me an idiot," he counters.

"You're just like him, completely arrogant, to a fault."

"Like who?"

"Your father."

"I never met my father," he argues.

"James, Charles Hoyt was your father. That sick bastard, who made you do those unthinkable things to her, he was your father. He was too busy killing, to be your father. It wasn't as if he didn't know about you. He always knew, he just didn't want you. Your mother was trash, and so are you."

"That's not true."

"Tell me where you kept the letters."

"Never," he vows.

"Where did you store his product?"

"You don't have anything on me."

"I have cops in your apartment, right now, turning it upside down. You might be sly, but you're not as smart as he was. Unless you want to be looking at the death sentence, I suggest that you start talking."

"You barely have enough to charge me with a misdemeanor."

"Ok, then take your chances, with a jury."

"You don't know anything."

"Then clue me in."

"He wanted me. He always wanted me."

"You never even met you."

"I met him, I just didn't know that he was my father."

"So, you lied."

"I can help you," he offers.

"Help me? How can you help me?"

"I know where they are."

"Who?"

"The other ones."

"What are you talking about?"

"There are more of them, that you don't even know about. I can tell you everything, I was there."

"I don't make deals with the devil. You can't help me, I can't convict a dead man."

"But you can bring peace, to their families."

"How many?"

"Twelve."

Frost shakes his head, "How many of them have you killed?"

James swallows hard.


	18. Heart's Truth

She sits in the squad room, with Frankie, and Vince, as Frost is still in interrogation. She stares at her computer screen, trying to ignore them. She feels their eyes on her.

"What?!" she turns and looks their direction.

"Nothing," Frankie shakes his head, and looks away.

"You got something do say?" She questions Korsak.

"Maybe," he admits.

"Ok."

"Not here."

"Whatever," she rolls her eyes.

Before the conversation can continue any further Jane's phone buzzes. She pulls it off the clip on her waist. She reads the text message, and gets up from her desk.

"Where are you going?" Vince inquires.

"To see Maura," Jane answers.

She feels her mind wandering, somewhere else.

"Are we almost done here?" she questions.

The technician looks at her, "Almost," she answers.

Jane sighs, and briefly looks at the screen. The technician finishes up. She leaves the room. The doctor hands Jane a tissue to wipe the gel off of her abdomen.

"How many times are we going to have this discussion?"

"What discussion?" Jane questions.

"Bleeding?" he inquires.

"Some."

"Jane, you're not gaining weight, like you should be, your blood pressure, is elevated, and..."

"Are we talking to the point of stroking out?"

"No, it's only slightly elevated, but it's something I like to monitor very closely."

"I am a cop. My life is stressful," Jane instantly regrets this statement.

"Unlike some of my patients, you are a little bit too physically active. I am concerned."

"You say that, every time, and I'm fine."

"You have elevated blood pressure, and you're not gaining enough weight. That along, with the fact, that you have placenta previa, and are over the age of thirty five, means that you have an increased risk for preterm labor."

"I am fine."

"You need to start complying."

"Or, what?"

"Or I'll put you on bed rest," he threatens.

"You can't do that," she argues.

"Yes, I can."

"The baby looks fine, doesn't it?"

"Please just do what I ask," he insists.

"What happens, if I don't?"

"Your son comes prematurely. There are a lot of different complications associated with prematurity. You need to decrease your stress."

"The only thing that is going to decrease my stress, is having this baby."

"I've been your doctor, for a long time."

"Yes," Jane confirms.

"You trust me?"

"Yes."

"Why don't you listen to me?"

"It's complicated."

"Explain it to me."

"This wasn't part of the plan," she begins.

"It rarely is."

"I never wanted kids. I..." she trails off.

"You what?"

"I can't, because you won't understand, and..."

"Just tell me."

"I don't want this baby."

"Women chose adoption, every day."

"Because they're young, and aren't prepared for a child."

"For other reasons too."

"Selfish ones."

"You feel as if you're being selfish?"

"I have the means to do it..."

"But?"

"I don't know if I can look at him, every single day for the rest of my life, and be ok."

He falls silent. He looks at her, and it clicks.

"You were raped?" He asks, bluntly.

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

She rubs her hands.

"It has to do with your hands," he guesses.

"Yes, the same sick, twisted, sadistic, bastard," she confirms.

"So..."

"He's still tormenting me, even though he's dead."

"How so?" he furrows his brow.

She swallows hard, "I was given propofol, and inseminated with his sperm, by his apprentice."

He doesn't say anything.

"You probably think that I'm making it up, but..."

He pulls his prescription pad out. He begins to scribble. He offers her the piece of paper.

"I don't need a prescription," she tells him.

"It's not a prescription. It's a friend of mine, a therapist. I know how you feel about therapists, but go see her. I think that she can help you."

"I..."

"Just take it," he tells her.

"Ok," she nods.

"And Jane, I understand, but even if you don't want this baby, it doesn't mean, that you don't owe it the best start that you can give it."

Jane enters the squad room. Everyone is getting ready to leave.

"What did I miss?" she quizzes.

"Where have you been? You've been gone an hour," Frankie tells her.

"We've got a case," Korsak adds.

Maura joins them, "I meant to tell you guys, she ran out to grab a bite to eat."

"Oh," Frankie shrugs.

"You riding with me?" Jane quizzes Maura.


	19. Heart Questions

"How was your appointment?" Maura questions, as Jane drives to the crime scene.

"Fine."

"Meaning it was fine, or that you don't want to talk about it?"

"The doctor told me that I need to be more compliant."

"There is a novel idea," Maura responds sarcastically.

"Sarcasm? A little early in the day for you try that, isn't it?"

"What did he say, exactly?"

"Blah, blah, blah, stress, blah, blah, blah."

"I am sure that those were his exact words."

"He said that I am too physically active."

"Chasing after perps, at seven and a half months pregnant, isn't a great idea."

"I know."

"Neither is running six miles a day. You don't even like running."

"I'm not supposed to run, I know. Since I found out, I can't help it. It helps me clear my head."

"And it takes six miles to do it?"

"It takes three, and then three more to get back to where I started."

"As in location, or mind set?"

"Sometimes both."

"What else?"

"That I need to decrease my stress, because my blood pressure was elevated," she rolls her eyes.

"I agree, but I don't foresee that happening."

"Neither, do I."

"And, I haven't gained enough weight."

"How much weight have you gained? Ten pounds?"

"Close."

"Twelve?"

"Not quite," Jane responds.

"Less than ten?"

"Seven," she responds.

"Seven? Jane come on."

"I know, I have to be more compliant. I don't need another lecture."

"Did he tell you that ..."

"I am at increased risk for premature labor, yes, I heard all of that."

"Good."

"And, he recommended a therapist to me."

"Are you going to go?" Maura questions, expects her to answer no.

"I haven't decided yet."

"You're actually considering it?"

"Maybe, a little."

"Have you been reading the book I got you?"

"It's a pretty easy read, considering I skipped more than half of it."

"How much have you read?"

"A couple of pages."

"What's the hold up? Are you going to wait until you're in labor and delivery?"

"A sense of ambivalence, I guess. I might be more interested, if it were called, _What to Expect, When You're Expecting a Baby, Who Was Conceived With A Serial Killer's Sperm, and You Didn't Find Out, Until it Was Too Late._"

"That's too long to fit on the cover."

"Can we talk about something else?"

"We're here," Maura points out.

"Thank goodness."

When Jane gets home, she finds her mother, in her apartment, with her dinner cooked.

"Ma? What are you doing?"

"I made you dinner."

"Why?"

"Because I can."

"Why are you in my apartment, again?"

"I wanted to do something nice for you."

"Thank you," Jane takes a seat at the counter, and stares at her dinner.

"Something wrong?"

"Fish?"

"It's chicken."

"Are you sure? It looks a little fishy."

"Jane, it's chicken."

"If you say so."

"So..." Angela begins.

"So what?"

"Do you have anything you want to tell me?"

"Like, what?"

"Oh, I don't know," she shrugs.

"Ma, if you have something to ask, just ask it."

Angela grabs something off the counter, she holds it up. Jane nearly chokes, as she looks at the cover of the book.

"I found this, when I was making your dinner."

"Oh."

"Oh? That's all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to answer me."

"You didn't ask a question," Jane points out.

"Is it yours?"

"No."

"Are you just saying that, because you don't want me to know?"

"Know what?"

"Are you pregnant?"

"No. What makes you think that?"

Angela rolls her eyes, and points to the book, "This, maybe," she answers.

"I'm not," she lies, again.

"Whose book is it?"

"Maura's," she stretches the truth.

"Maura's pregnant?"

Jane shakes her head, "No."

"Then why does she have this book?"


	20. Heart To Tell

"Better, yet, why do _you_ have this book?"

"Maura has lots of books," Jane answers, avoiding the question.

"Why do you have it?"

"I am just doing some research."

"For what?"

"We had a pregnant victim, and she was reading this. I was just trying to understand."

"I don't buy it."

"I don't know what to tell you."

"You're covering for Maura, aren't you?"

"Ma!"

"I get it, she doesn't want me to know yet."

"Wait, is that why you cooked me dinner? You thought that I was pregnant?"

"No."

"You're crazy."

Maura is sitting on her couch, watching TV, when Angela gets home. Maura's phone rings, before Angela can reach Maura.

"Dr. Isles," she answers.

"Maura, my mother found the book. I may have said it belonged to you. Now she thinks you're pregnant."

"No, I'm sorry, I don't need any life insurance," she hangs up.

Angela stops at the end of the couch. She just smiles at Maura.

"Life insurance is a good idea."

"I already have life insurance," Maura clarifies.

"You can never be too cautious."

"What do you mean?"

"You just want to make sure that everything is taken care of, should something happen to you. You should have a living will, too."

"I do."

"Good."

"Angela, is there something on your mind?"

"No," she lies.

"Ok."

"Goodnight," Angela tells her.

"Night."

Angela stops at the door, "You should get to bed too, it's getting late. You could use the rest."

"It's eight thirty."

"You never know when you will get called out in the middle of the night. A good night's rest is so important."

"I'll keep that in mind," Maura smiles.

Angela heads for the guest house.

The following morning, Jane meets Maura in the morgue, over a body, as Maura does her autopsy.

"Anything?" Jane quizzes.

"Last night, your mother came back in the house, to check on me."

"When?"

"Around eleven. She found me in the kitchen, with a wine glass, and flipped her lid."

"Uh oh."

"She told me that I shouldn't be drinking, because of the baby."

"What did you say?"

"First of all, it was water."

"Why were you drinking water out of a wine glass?"

"It was sitting on the drying rack."

"Why were you drinking tap water? You hate tap water."

"I was drinking purified water."

"Why didn't you just drink it out of the bottle?"

"Bottles kill the environment."

"Sorry, I forgot. Anyway, please continue."

"She took the glass out of my hand, and poured it down the drain."

"No, she didn't."

"Yep."

"So what did you tell her?"

"I told her it was water. Then she saw the water pitcher sitting out, and she felt bad."

"And?"

"She apologized for jumping to conclusions."

"What did you say about being pregnant?"

"I told that she was right, although there are varying reports of how much you can drink while pregnant, the safest amount is none."

"Did that get her going?"

"She got very embarrassed, and then asked if I was pregnant."

"And you told her no, right?"

"No. I told her that I didn't want to talk about it."

"You lied to her."

"I didn't lie to her. I didn't want to talk about it."

"But you're not pregnant."

"I know."

"But now she thinks that you are."

"Oh well."

"What are you going to do, when you don't have a baby?"

"I'll just steal yours."

"She'll know you weren't."

"But, for now, it buys you time."

"Thank you."

"But, you really should tell her."

"I'm not going to break her heart. I refuse."

"What are you going to do?"

"Pretend that I'm on vacation."

"I doubt that will work. You haven't been on vacation in five years."

"Then, I'm due."

Maura doesn't say anything, she just looks at Jane.

"Poor choice of words," Jane admits.

"You said it."

"Maura, thank you, for everything."

"About what you asked..."

Jane smiles, "You're the only person on the list."

"But..." Maura begins to argue.

"I'll figure it out."


	21. Heart Enough

She flips on the light, in her apartment, as she walks through the door. She looks up from the pile of mail that she is thumbing through, and finds a body lying on the couch. She rolls her eyes, and closes, and locks her door, behind her.

"Breaking and entering is a crime, wait a minute, you know that, you're a detective."

"I used a key."

"A key, where did you get a key?" Jane raises an eyebrow.

"Maura made a copy of hers," he reveals.

"I've got to get these locks changed. What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry. I left the station, and started home, but somehow I ended up here."

"Why?"

"I feel like you're slipping away."

"Frost, come on. First of all, I am your partner, not your wife, and second of all, I'm not."

"Really? Because it seems to me as if you are emotionally distancing yourself from everyone close to you."

"That isn't true."

"Yes it is," he argues.

She takes a seat on the couch, next to him.

"Why are you really here?"

"Because I'm worried about you."

"You have been very, hovery lately," she points out.

"Hovery is not a word," he counters.

"You know what I mean."

"I don't want to lose you," he admits.

"I am not going anywhere."

"If you have a mental breakdown, I don't have a partner."

"Sure you do, you can be Frankie's partner."

"I don't want to be his partner. I want to be yours."

"Why?"

"Because you're the best."

"If I were the best, this wouldn't have ever happened."

"Even the best detective, in the entire world, wouldn't have seen this coming."

"Are you afraid what I might do, if you're not here?"

"No," he lies.

"You're afraid what I'm going to do, if I'm alone."

"Yes," he admits.

"First of all, I'm never alone."

"I know, one of us, is always here, bothering you."

"That's not what I meant," she tells him.

"Oh."

"And second of all, I am not suicidal."

"I know..." he pauses.

She swallows hard, and looks him in the eye, "I hate this, every single minute of it. It is a nightmare, that doesn't get to be over," she shakes her head, "but I know that it's not his fault. He didn't do anything. He didn't ask to be brought into the world, under these circumstances."

"Do you ever wonder, what..." he trails off.

"Do I ever wonder what?"

"What you feel, if the circumstances were different? If you had too many drinks, and his father was some stranger from a bar?"

"First of all, I've never been that drunk, and second of all, I've thought about a lot of things."

"Would you feel differently."

"No matter how it happens, it's always scary. I don't know if I would handle it differently, or better, but..." she chokes.

"It's ok," he tells her.

She sniffles, "It's really not. I don't like to think about it, because I almost always come up with, yes."

"Yes? That you would feel differently."

"That I would keep him."

"I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for? You didn't do this."

"I know, but..."

"You couldn't have stopped it. You had no way of knowing."

"But for some reason, I still feel responsible."

"Don't," she begs him.

"I should go. You are a grown woman, and a cop, and I shouldn't worry about you."

"Yes, you should," she argues.

He cocks his head, but says nothing.

"Sometimes, when I'm here, alone, I just... I want to curl up into a ball, and cry."

"You do that, sometimes, when I'm here."

"But I get up. When you're not, I just feel as if, I might not ever want to get up. I just want to sleep, until this all goes away."

"You can't do that. It's not healthy."

"I know," she bites her bottom lips.

"You should see someone about it."

"I am."

"A professional."

"I did."

"You did? When?"

"Today."

"That's why it took you so long, to get here?"

"Yeah."

"How did it go?"

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"Ok."

"But, I learned, what scared me the most."

"What's that?"

Without warning she takes his hand. She swallows hard, and presses it to her stomach.

"This," she answers, as the baby moves, under his fingers. She takes a deep breath, and continues, "Because I can't control it now, while it's inside of me, and I can't control it. I can't control when it decides to make an appearance, either."

"And it scares the hell out of you?"

"Yes. I don't know how not to be in control."

"Sometimes you've just got to let go, and let someone else take the lead."

"Like who, you?"

"I meant a power, a little higher than me."

"Most days, I don't know if I believe in any higher power. Because, if I believe in a higher power, then he's responsible for this."


	22. Two Hearts

She wakes up in the middle of the night, with pain. She climbs out of bed, and quietly makes her way into the kitchen. Without thinking she flips on the kitchen light, to get a drink of water.

"What are you doing?" Frost asks, from the comfort of the couch, as he puts his pillow over his head.

"Getting a drink of water."

"So you can pee all night?"

"No, I just needed to get up, and walk a little bit."

"In the middle of the night?"

"Don't worry about it."

"You worry the hell out of me," he admits.

"It's just braxton-hicks, go back to sleep."

"Huh?"

"Braxton-hicks contractions, it's fine, go back to sleep."

"Contractions?"

"They're not real ones, it's ok, go back to sleep."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"How do you know?"

"Because they stop, with exercise."

"How long have you been having them?"

"This is the first time."

"Oh."

"Frost, I know that you spend a lot of time over here, but..." she trails off.

"But, what?" he inquires.

"You know that couch pulls out," she informs him.

"What? I've been sleeping here a couple of days a week, for months, and you're just now telling me that?"

"It's lumpy, and not very supportive, but it's better than the couch."

"If you weren't pregnant right now, and a girl, I might punch you."

"You can take that last part out."

"Right, I forgot, you're not a girl, you're Jane Rizzoli, robot."

"Not nice."

"Are you going back to sleep, now?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Unless you want to stay up all night, and chat."

"You should really tell your mother," he insists.

"About us?" she jokes.

"Goodnight," he waves at her, as she heads back to her room.

He pulls the couch cushions off, and quickly realizes that there is no pull out. He stomps down the hallway into Jane's room. He flips on the light, and looks at her. She giggles, uncontrollably, until she sees her big king sized pillow in his grasp. He chucks it at her, and hits her in the head.

"I thought that you said..." she begins.

"That was before I knew how mean you were. And, it's a pillow, so it's ok."

She continues to laugh.

"It's not funny."

"It kind of is. Why don't you just go home, and sleep in your own bed?"

"You need me."

"Do not," she argues.

"Liar."

"You can sleep in here, if you want."

"No thanks, I'm going to go get some sleep, on the pull out."

"Come on."

"It..."

"First of all, you're my partner, second of all, I'm pregnant. So, any awkward... whatever that you may have in your head... there will not be any of it."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, why would you ask me that?"

"I read that book of yours."

"Uh huh, and?"

"It said that the hormones during pregnancy can cause..."

She cuts him off, "You would take advantage of a pregnant woman?"

"NO! I didn't mean it like that."

"And just how did you mean it?"

"You know what, I am going to go back to the couch."

"Just stay."

"Are you asking, or telling?"

"Please."

"Are you sure?"

"Don't make me beg," she insists.

"Can I ask you something?"

"I think that you've earned the right to. You put up with all of my crap."

"It's still in the back of your mind sometimes, isn't it?" he wonders.

"The fact that someone came into my home, and assaulted me, while I slept, and I... yeah, it bothers me. I think about it, all the time. I know that I give you a hard time, but I don't feel comfortable, here, alone." He doesn't say a word, he just turns off the light.

When she wakes up, there is a pair of eyes staring at her. She looks up, and then looks over.

"Do you ever knock?" Jane questions.

"Why is your partner in your bed?"

Jane elbows Barry.

He opens his eyes, and responds, "Good morning Angela."

"Would you like to explain to me what you are doing in bed with, _my_ daughter?"

"It's a long story," he admits.

"He's wearing clothes, and on top of the covers," Jane points out.

"So nothing happened between you?" Angela inquires.

"Of course not," Jane responds.

"Then why is he in your bed?"

"The couch is lumpy," Frost answers.

"Why are you here?"

Jane answers quickly, "His apartment is being exterminated, he has a terrible infestation of carpenter ants, so I told him he could stay here while his place was being exterminated."

"Whatever," Angela rolls her eyes, and heads for the door.


	23. Someone Else's Heart

Maura stares at Jane, as she enters her office. Jane places evidence bags on her desk.

"I brought you a present."

"Jane, have a seat," Maura tells her.

"I..."

"Please," Maura begs.

Jane folds her arms across her chest, and has a seat across the desk from Maura.

"Are you going to hide this, the whole time?" Maura inquires.

"That is the plan," Jane admits.

"What did your doctor say?"

"He put me on bed rest."

"Jane!"

"I'm fine. He doesn't know what he's talking about."

"How many weeks do you have, until your due date?" She pauses, just long enough for Jane to answer.

"Eight. I will be fine."

"What happens if the baby comes early?"

Jane shrugs, "I don't know. I am sure that he'll be ok."

"Jane, it's not always like it is on TV. Not all babies born that early turn out ok. Some of them have very serious complications. Even babies born at thirty six weeks sometimes have serious complications."

"Please, don't lecture me."

"I don't know what I am supposed to do with you."

"Just support me."

"Ok," Maura nods.

"Have you started buying things, yet?"

"For what?" Maura questions.

"Your baby."

"I..." Maura stops.

"What? Spit it out."

"Nothing, never mind."

"You don't want him?"

"I never said that."

"You don't have to. Who would?"

"I do."

"Then, what's the problem?"

"I am afraid that you're going to change your mind."

"And do what?"

"Just change your mind."

"I am not going to."

"But.."

"Do you want this? Do you want to be a parent?"

"Yes."

"To a little boy, who needs a parent?"

"Yes," Maura nods.

"I want you to have him."

"Jane how are you going to deal with that? It's not much different than you having him. You are going to see him, all the time? What if you can't handle that?"

"I will have to."

"What if you decide that you can't? Then, what am I supposed to do?"

"I won't."

"You don't know that," Maura argues.

"If I decide that, I will leave."

"I don't want you to leave."

"I will, if I have to."

"Why did you pick me?"

"You were adopted."

"Lots of people are."

"If anyone could make him feel loved, and wanted, it's you."

"I don't know the first thing about children."

"You've read a million books."

"Not quite that many."

"My point is, that you've read all the books."

"That's not enough."

"You'll know what to do."

"How can you think that?"

"It's instinctual."

"What if I don't have the instinct? My mother didn't have a maternal instinct, and..."

"Maura you're not Constance. You aren't your mother."

"I know, but..."

"You are going to be great at this."

"This is going to be difficult to explain to your mother."

"Tell her half of the truth."

"Which is what?"

"That you're adopting."

"Leave out the who?"

"Right," Jane nods.

That night, Jane lies in bed, wide awake, in her quiet apartment. She's alone in the apartment. Knowing that sleep isn't coming, she flips on the light, and sits up in bed. Her oversized t-shirt conceals the small bump underneath. She places her head against the wall. She touches her hand to her stomach. She feels the unborn baby squirm, inside of her.

"I know you probably won't understand, but just know, she'll love you, more than I ever can. I'm sorry, for everything."

She reads for a while, and then turns off her light. She rolls onto her side, and closes her eyes, for the night. It takes her a while to fall asleep. Eventually sleep comes, and so do the dreams.

_She wakes up, and looks around the room. She finds herself, in a hospital bed. Frankie sits next to her, holding her hand. _

_"Hey," he smiles._

_"Is it over?" she questions._

_"Yeah," he nods._

_"Good."_

_"Do you want to see him?" Frost inquires._

_Jane nods._

_He lifts the baby out of the basinet, and holds him up, for her to see. A baby, with Charles Hoyt's face. The baby opens his eyes, and smiles. He laughs devilishly, and says, "Hello, again, Jane."_

She wakes up, screaming, in a cold sweat.


	24. Heart In Someone Else's Hands

Angela hears noise, coming from upstairs, as she enters Maura's house. She follows the noise, to the top of the stairs, where she stops.

"Maura," she calls out.

"I'm down here," Maura responds.

Angela follows her voice, to the guest bedroom, at the end of the hallway. She stops in the doorway, and peeks inside the room.

"Maura?"

Maura spins around. She sees Angela standing in the doorway, of the recently redecorated room.

"I think we need to talk," Angela points out, staring at the nursery.

"Yes, we do," Maura agrees.

"You're not pregnant," Angela points out.

"No. I never said that I was," Maura admits.

"But, you're getting a nursery ready?"

"Yes," Maura confirms.

"For?"

"A baby."

"A boy?"

"Yes," Maura responds.

Angela reads the white letters, hanging above the crib, "A boy, named Connor?"

"Uh huh," Maura nods.

"So are you going to clue me in?"

"I am adopting a baby," Maura admits.

"That's great! Why didn't you just tell me what?"

"I wasn't really sure that it was going to happen. In fact, I'm still not."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm afraid that she'll change her mind."

"The birth mother? She's not going to do that."

"How can you know that?"

"Because you deserve this, and I know it's going to happen."

"How?"

"I had a dream about it."

"You did?"

Angela answers, "I did. You were holding a sweet little baby, with red hair."

"Red hair? You must be taking some artistic liberties, I don't think he's going to have red hair."

"Why not? Is he black?"

"No," Maura shakes her head.

"I'm so happy for you, Maura."

"Thank you."

"You're not?"

"I'm nervous."

"She won't change her mind. Just have some faith, that everything will work out the way that it's supposed to."

"I do."

"So when is he going to be getting here? You have a while yet, don't you?"

"Not that long," Maura reveals.

"How long?"

"His due date is in about six weeks."

"Wow, that's soon."

"Sooner, if he decides to come early."

"You should have told me."

"I wasn't sure, that it was going to happen."

"So..." Angela begins.

"So, what?"

"You know, I think of you as my daughter, and..."

"He can call you grandma, if it would make you happy."

"You would be ok with that?" Angela quizzes, with bright eyes, and a big smile.

"Of course. My mother isn't around much, and I am sure that you will be a big part of his life, so I think that is only fair."

"I would be honored."

"Angela..."

"You don't want me to tell anyone?"

"No. I don't want anyone to know, yet."

"You want him, here, with you, in your arms, before you tell?"

"Yes," Maura confirms.

"Ok," Angela agrees.

"So what do you think, of the nursery?"

"It's nice, it's just missing one thing."

Maura looks around, she furrows her brow, and asks, "What's that?"

Angela points to the name on the wall, "Connor."

"Right."

"So? Does Jane know?"

"She is the one who suggested it."

"I think that it's very brave of you."

"I don't feel very brave, just scared."

"I'll be here to help you, don't worry."

"I don't know what I'm doing."

"It's easy. I'll teach you, whatever you don't know."

Across town, Jane is on her way home. She stops at a red light. She pushes the accelerator, when the light turns green. A pick up truck comes out of nowhere, way too fast, and t-bones her car. Her car spins around, and around. It flips onto it's side. She feels as if her insides have been scrambled, as the air bag deploys. When the car comes to a stop her first thought is her unborn child.

Before she can react, she suddenly feels drowsy. She hears sirens, but loses consciousness, before they can reach her.

Maura's phone rings. She grabs it, and pulls it to her ear.

"Isles," she responds.

"Maura it's Barry. There's been an accident."

"Is..."

"Just come to the hospital," he tells her.

"Ok, I'll be right there."

She slips out of the house, unnoticed.


	25. Heartstrings

She finally comes to, in a room, with a lot of bright lights. She blinks, and looks at the medical personnel, surrounding her. Barry, and Maura have yet to arrive. She looks at the nurse, carefully cleaning the gash to her head, where she hit it on the steering wheel.

"I.." she begins.

"It's ok. You're here at the hospital, and we're going to take really good care of you. Can you remember what happened."

"My baby," is the only thing that Jane can answer.

"Your baby? Ma'am, your baby wasn't in the car."

"No," Jane swallows hard, "You don't understand."

"Where is your baby?"

Jane takes a deep breath, and her chest hurts, "I am thirty four weeks along," she answers.

The next few moments are a blur. The nurses, and doctors, come in and out. Jane drifts in, and out. When she comes to again, she's in a new room. The same nurse is standing by her side.

"Where am I?" Jane questions.

"We are in the OR. We are getting you ready for an emergency c-section."

Another person in scrubs comes into the room. Jane expects it to be a doctor, a nurse, or even Maura. She finds Barry, instead. He takes a seat next to her.

"Are you the father?" the nurse questions.

"Yes," he lies.

"We're about ready to get started."

He nods. He looks at Jane, who looks scared out of her mind. He squeezes her hand.

"It's ok," he tells her.

"It's too early," she argues.

"I'm right here, with you," he promises.

That's the last thing she remembers. She drifts back to unconsciousness. She wakes up hours later, in a recovery room. She finds Barry sitting next to her. In a new room, but in the same spot. He holds her hand. She tries to make sense of everything that's happened.

"Frost?"

He looks at her, and smiles, "Hey! Nice to see that you're awake, finally."

"How long was I out?"

"A few hours."

"The baby?"

"Is fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"But..."

"The baby is in the NICU, doing pretty well, I think. You should have seen the nurse's face, when she realized that it wasn't half mine."

"Is he alone?" Jane inquires.

"No," he shakes his head, "Maura is with it."

"Good."

"You have a pretty nasty concussion, and a couple of bruised ribs. Luckily, for you, you sit in the backseat when you drive. You have a fractured wrist bone, but for the most part they said that you're alright."

"It's ok. I'm just..."

"Jane, you don't have to worry, the baby is fine."

"I..."

"It didn't cry at first, but after a minute, little one started wailing, and turned bright red. It looked pretty angry, to be out so soon."

"I want to see him."

He pulls out his phone, and shows her a picture. It's blurry, and the baby is covered in goo. She shakes her head.

"Not a picture," she responds.

"You don't want to see a picture?"

"I want to see him, in person."

"Of course, you can see him."

"Now!"

"No. Not now. You have to rest a little bit."

"Frost I just want to see him."

Before he has the chance to respond, Maura walks into the room, with a grin, from ear to ear. Frost just shakes his head.

"How are you feeling?" Maura questions.

"Like I was just hit by a truck, had my abdomen sliced open, and.."

"You didn't tell her?" Maura questions.

"Tell me what?" Jane wonders.

"They didn't do the c-section," Maura responds.

"What?" Jane looks at her, in confusion.

"You lost consciousness. They had a monitor on you, to monitor contractions. The accident caused you to go into preterm labor. They were worried about hemorrhage, but he didn't want to wait for them to cut you open. When you were in the ER he was barely in the birth canal. By the time they had you prepped, he was crowning. It was disgusting," Barry reveals, "You passed out, just before they discovered that."

"How is he," she ignores him, and looks at Maura.

"He's doing pretty well. They have him on a little bit of supplemental oxygen, for now. He's looks healthy. Nineteen inches, four pounds fifteen ounces."

"I want to see him," Jane adds.

"He's resting."

"Now!" Jane snaps.

"Jane, let them get him cleaned up. You should get some rest. You can see him in a little while."

"I want to see him now," she argues.

Maura looks at the monitor. She notices how high Jane's blood pressure is rising.

"Jane you need to calm down. You just sustained a head injury, and your blood pressure..."

"Please," she begs.

Maura nods. She motions for Frost. He grabs a wheelchair. Jane frowns.

"I can walk," she argues.

'I would feel better, if you didn't," Maura tells her.

"I..."

"Jane, this is the only way, it's going to happen," Maura lets her know.

"Ok," Jane relents.

Barry helps Maura get Jane into the wheelchair. Maura pauses the IV infusion. She disconnects the tubing from the IV. Barry watches, as Maura wheels Jane down the hallway. She disappears, past the nurses station.

He waits anxiously, in the doorway of her room, for her to return.


	26. Too Heart

Maura stops at a warmer, she points. The nurse steps forward. Jane holds her arms out. She is slightly confused, realizing how badly they hurt, she says nothing. She takes a deep breath. Maura bends down, to her level.

"Are you sure, about this?"

"Yes," Jane answers.

"Ok," Maura takes the tiny boy from the nurse. She looks at the little boy, and then to Jane. She carefully places him into Jane's awaiting arms, holding her breath, the entire time.

Jane takes the little boy from Maura's arms, and leans back in the wheelchair. She takes a deep breath. He's small, and he wears a nasal cannula. His features are tiny, and delicate. He is wrapped tightly in a striped blanket. He wears a tiny cap on his head. His tiny fist is balled up, near his cheek. She touches the back of his hand, with her finger. His eyes pop open, and look at her, for a moment. After a few seconds he closes them again.

Jane carefully slips the cap off his head. She takes note of the head full of dark hair. She quickly replaces the cap. She stares at him in silence, for several moments. Without a word, Maura walks away. She goes over to the nurses station, to talk to the head nurse. Jane watches her, in fear. She swallows hard, and redirects her attention to the baby boy in her arms. Finally she exhales.

"Hi, little guy," she says, flatly, trying to contain her emotions.

His eyes open again. He fixes his gaze on her face. She tries to keep from crying. She feels completely conflicted, and entirely confused. Her head throbs, her ribs ache, each breath hurts, her arms burn, and her abdomen feels as if it has a vice grip around it.

"Maura," she calls out.

Maura turns, and leaves the nurses station. She returns to Jane's side. Jane looks at the infant, and then at her.

"Why is he staring at me?"

"He recognizes your voice. He's been listening to you, for months," Maura informs her.

"Will you put him back, please?" Jane begs.

Maura nods, subtly. She takes the infant from Jane's arms. She carefully returns him to his warmer.

"Will you take me back to my room now?" Jane quizzes.

"Of course," Maura agrees, knowing that her friend is feeling drained, both physically, and emotionally.

When they return to the room, Frost is waiting for them, at the door. He helps Maura return Jane to her bed. He looks at the two of them, and makes a decision.

"I am going to go grab a bite to eat, if the two of you don't mind," he looks at Jane.

"Ok," Jane replies, in a small voice.

"Do you want anything?"

Maura shakes her head.

"I'm not hungry," Jane responds.

Frost leaves the room, and Maura takes a seat, next to Jane, even though she feels herself being pulled back into the nursery. She tries to gauge Jane's expression, but she can't.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Jane's forehead wrinkles, and the walls come tumbling down. The floodgates open, and she can't fight the tears, any longer. She tries to wipe them away, as they fall.

"It's ok," Maura tells her.

"No, it's not. None of this is ok," Jane argues.

"Calm down."

"I can't."

"Everything is going to be ok. He's going to be fine."

Jane breaks eye contact, instead she looks at her arms. She stares at the bandages on her arms. One arm has a splint in addition to the bandages. She looks to Maura.

"What happened to my arms?"

"You don't remember?" Maura questions.

"No. Do you know?"

"You let go of the steering wheel."

"Why would I do that?"

"You couldn't have controlled the car, even if you tried."

"I don't understand."

"It was just instinct, Jane."

"I don't know what you mean."

Maura demonstrates as she speaks, "You wrapped your arms around your stomach, so that when the airbag deployed they would take the impact. You were trying to protect him."

Jane sits in her bed, in silence.

"You were in and out of consciousness. What do you remember?"

"The crash, and sirens, and then, I was in the ER."

"The driver of the truck wasn't hurt as badly. He got out of his truck, to see if you were ok. By the time he got to you, you had gotten out of your seat belt, and you were attempting to crawl out of the passenger's side."

"I don't remember."

"That's ok."

"It wasn't enough," Jane responds, softly."

"What do you mean, it wasn't enough?"

"I should have paid more attention in the intersection. It was too early for him to come. I..."

Maura cuts her off, "You didn't do anything wrong. He's ok. It wasn't your fault."

"All of this is my fault, isn't it?"

"Jane, I don't want to hear that. None of this is your fault."

"When can I go home?"

"Maybe a couple of days," Maura responds.

"I want to go home," Jane answers.

"Not now."

"First thing tomorrow, I want to go home."

"Not going to happen."

"I'll be fine."

"Jane, your body is not ready, yet. You don't let anyone help you, the doctor is not going to let you go home yet."

"How long will he be in the hospital for?"

"It's hard to tell, yet. It could be a few days, or a few weeks, it just depends."

"Maura, I screwed up."

"No, you didn't."


	27. Cold Hearted

When she wakes up, it takes her a moment to figure out where she is. She finds Frost sitting in the chair, next to her bed, sipping a cup of coffee, by the light of the lamp.

"Are you still here?"

"My partner is in the hospital, where else would I be?"

"Maura?"

"In the nursery."

"Oh."

"How was it?"

Jane looks away, swallowing hard. "It wasn't easy," she admits.

"You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to," he tells her, not wanting to pressure her.

"It was overwhelming."

"That's understandable."

"I just... I didn't know how I was supposed to feel."

"Jane, there is no supposed to, there just is. You feel how you feel."

"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

"This may be rough, but it's reality, not a nightmare," he reminds her.

"Did you see him?"

"For a minute. He was pretty slimy, so I didn't get too close."

"What did you think?"

"I almost puked, when I cut the cord."

"You cut the cord?"

"I wanted to make sure that the ties that bind you to..." he trails off, "I didn't think that you would mind."

"No. It doesn't make any difference to me."

"Maura missed it."

"Was she upset?"

"No, she was just glad that he was ok."

"Yeah."

"He looks like you. I know that you... I honestly don't know what you want to hear, but that's what I think."

"I thought the same thing."

"Is that a good thing, or not?"

She shrugs, slightly, "I don't know."

"Maura said that you're trying to get out of here tomorrow."

"I don't want to be here."

"You have a concussion."

"You'll be on the couch, won't you?" she jokes.

"Jane, I know that you don't want to hear this, and I am the last one to push you to do anything, but..."

"Just say it, whatever it is."

"Are you sure?"

"I've already cried once today."

"I think that you're entitled."

"I'll be ok."

"I know that you don't want to, but I do think you should make an effort," he advises her.

"An effort, to do what?" She looks at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Just spend some time with him, alone."

"Why? I don't want to be alone. It's..."

"Scary, I know. I am only saying that, because I know you."

"What is that supposed to mean."

"Despite every other circumstance, genetically, half of his DNA is yours. You carried him inside of you for months. He is your son."

"What are you saying?"

"You should be certain."

"I am."

"There is no harm in taking a little bit more time."

"Why are you insisting on this?"

"Because you can't let Maura get attached to him, fall in love with him, and take him home, and then change your mind."

"I am not going to change my mind. I wouldn't give him to anyone else."

"What if you decide that you do want to parent? You can't do that to her. You can't put her through that, and expect that you'll come out the other side as friends. You need to be sure, before he leaves the hospital."

"I am."

"You're telling me, that you held him, and you didn't feel anything?"

"I felt lots of things. I am very emotional right now, I just..."

"Had a baby, I know, I was there. It was gross."

"Thank you."

"You really expect me to believe that you held him in your arms, and looked at him, and didn't feel any connection?"

She just looks away, without saying anything.

"And another thing, he looks just like you. I've seen your baby pictures, Jane. There is no way that your mother won't find out. If she takes one look at him, she'll know. You should have told her."

Jane wipes the snot from her nose on the back of her hand. Frost hands her a tissue, and she wipes away the tears, too.

"Why? So that I could break her heart? She would never understand."

"She would, if you told her the truth."

"I don't even like to think about the truth, why would I want to talk about it, with my mother, of all people? I don't, and I'm not going to."

"Ever? You are never going to tell her? How are you going to explain all of this to her?"

"I'm not."

"And if she asks?"

"I'll ignore her."

"And what about when that little boy asks? What are you going to say then?"

"I..."

"Are you just going to tell him that you don't want to talk about it? So, then he'll just always think, it was just because you didn't want him?"

"Are you trying to guilt me into taking him home? Do you really think that I should raise a child, who I never asked for, who I never wanted, who is essentially a product of rape?"

"No, I am just trying to get you to think about the other side. You need to explore all the feelings. You can't just ignore them, and pretend they aren't there. If you do, you will end up regretting it."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you. I have had to sit back and watch, all of this unfold. It's not easy for you. It's not easy to watch. And, it kills me, that you won't let anyone help you, and you won't let anyone in."

"I let you in."

"No," he shakes his head, "You just let me far enough, that I won't leave you."

"You're my partner."

"I'm not going anywhere, I wish that I could convince you of that. I wish I could make you see, that not everyone leaves. You have a whole group of people that love you, and care about you, and want to know why you haven't been yourself."

"I don't owe them an explanation."

"No, but maybe you owe yourself one."


	28. Heart Cries

He steps out of the room, to go get another cup of coffee. He finds Maura standing outside the room, leaning against the wall.

"What are you doing out here?"

"How is she?"

"She's napping. It's almost lunchtime, do you want a grab a bite?"

"I should probably get back, to him.

"Maura, what's on your mind?"

"He won't eat."

"Maybe he's just not hungry yet."

"Frost, I don't know what I've gotten myself into. He's premature, and..." she begins.

He cuts her off, "Just give it time," he suggests.

"He screams, and cries."

"He was sleeping, earlier."

"When he woke up, a couple of hours ago, he started crying. He hasn't stopped. He cries, and cries, and there isn't anything wrong with him. He refuses to eat, and..."

"You're scared?"

"What if I can't do this?"

"Not you, too."

"I just didn't think that it was going to be so hard."

"What's really bothering you?"

"I am afraid she'll change her mind."

"I know."

"Actually..." she shakes her head, "Never mind."

"No, what?"

"I hope that she does."

"Because you feel as if you're over your head?"

"No. I want her to want him. I know what happened to her was terrible, and I can't imagine that, but she doesn't remember it. She can't hate him for that. He didn't do anything wrong. He's innocent in all of this."

"I know. I'm worried about her. I don't know if she's going to come out of this, ok."

"I am afraid that I'm going to lose my best friend."

"We should get something to eat."

"I'm not hungry. I just want him to stop screaming."

"Can we take him out, yet?"

"They moved him to the regular nursery earlier this morning. Now, they may have to move him back."

"Go take a break, I'll go sit with him, for a while," he offers.

She nods, and heads down the hallway. He heads into the nursery. He flashes his bracelet, and the nurse directs him to a bassinet. He stops, and peers in, at the empty bassinet. Another nurse comes up to him, with a screaming baby, and places him inside.

"Is it ok if I take him out?" he questions.

"Absolutely," she nods.

"I'm going to take him to see his mom."

"Are you the father?"

"It's complicated," he answers.

"The word father doesn't mean there has to be a biologic connection."

"So, I can take him?"

"You've got the bracelet," she answers, "One of us will come in, and get him, when the pediatrician gets here."

"Ok," he agrees.

He pushes the bassinet out of the nursery, down the hallway, to Jane's room. He opens the door, and pushes the baby in. He pushes the bassinet next to the bed. Jane continues to sleep. Frost looks at the baby, and then at Jane. He returns his glance to the baby. He screams

"I hate to do this to you little man," the baby begins to quiet, some, "but I'll be right outside, if you need me."

Frost heads for the door. He steps outside, and closes the door behind him. He takes a seat against the wall, next to the door, and waits. He just listens.

Jane opens her eyes, and tries to identify the source of the screaming. She sits up on the side of the bed, and looks at the screaming baby. His faces is red, and the vein in his forehead throbs.

"Why are you in here?"

He doesn't answer her, but the crying pauses, for a moment.

"Why are you crying?"

His eyes search her out. She slowly stands up. She peers into the bassinet. She swallows hard, and lifts him out of the bassinet. She carefully returns to her bed. She sits with him, as he screams.

"Please stop crying," she begs, "Shh!"

He doesn't stop. She gets comfortable in the bed. She tries to pat him, but this makes him angrier. He squirms, and squeals, as she tries to soothe him. She holds him out.

"Look, I don't know what you want from me," she admits. He screeches.

She pulls her feet into the bed. She leans her head back, against her pillow. She holds him away from her, but he fights, and cries. Against her will, and better judgment, she unwraps him. She places him against her chest. The crying lessens as he listens to her heart beat. She puts the blanket over him, and relaxes, slightly. She begins to breathe normally, again, and her heart beat slows down. The crying lessens, to a whimper. She exhales.

"Who brought you in here? Maura? I know that you didn't bring yourself in here. Was it a nurse?"

The crying stops, as he hears her voice. He stops squirming, and lies still. She holds him, but tries not to look at him.

"I'm sorry that you got here so early. And, I am sorry that you got born into this mess, too. I wish that things could be different. I really hope someone comes to get you soon, though, because I don't know what I'm doing."

He responds by sticking his fingers in his mouth. He begins to suck on them. She looks at him.

"I don't know what that means," she admits, "Do fingers taste good?"

He continues to suck. She finds a bottle sitting in his bassinet. She changes his position, and attempts to give him his bottle. He ignores her attempts. She sits the bottle down.

"I guess that you're not hungry."

Maura finds Frost, sitting in the hallway. She shoots him a questioning look.

"Why are you sitting out here?"

"On the floor? I thought it would be a good spot."

"I thought that you were going to stay with the baby."

"He's in there," he points.

"You left him alone in there?"

"She's not going to toss him out a window, or anything."

"She doesn't know what to do with a baby."

"I know."

"Why would you just wheel him in there, and leave him?"

"Because whether or not, anyone else likes it, she needs some time, alone with him."


	29. Hand On The Heart

Maura steps into the room. She finds Jane sitting on the bed, holding the baby, against her chest. She stares off into space, looking completely petrified. Maura closes the door behind her.

"How are things going?"

"Did you leave him in here?" Jane wonders.

"No, that was Frost."

"Oh."

"You got him to stop crying."

"How long was he crying?"

"For hours," Maura reveals.

"I didn't really do anything. He keeps sucking his fingers."

"He's stubborn. He's hungry, but he won't eat."

"Since when?" Jane inquires.

"He hasn't eaten yet," Maura answers.

"What does that mean?"

"If he doesn't start eating soon they will probably put him back in the NICU. They may have to insert a feeding tube. He's may be headed back there, anyway, his bilirubin levels are on the rise."

"So they'll have to put him under a light?"

"Right," Maura nods, in surprise.

"You should probably take him. You know more about it, than I do."

"No, I don't. I've read books, that doesn't mean much, here. You're the one that got him to stop crying."

"He's just used to my voice."

"Jane, I think you should spend some time with him, alone."

"I am afraid."

"Of what? Jane, he's a baby. He can't do anything."

"What if I drop him?"

"You are not going to drop him. Jane, what are you so afraid of?"

The tears start falling, before she can answer. She clenches her jaw, in an effort to make the tears stop.

"I am afraid that I am alone with him that... I'll love him."

"Why would you be afraid of that?"

"I..." she shrugs, unable to answer.

"Jane, I hate to break it to you, but you already do. If you didn't, your arms wouldn't be torn to pieces, you wouldn't care where he went, or why he was crying. Your first thought, when you came to, in the ER wouldn't have been about him. You already love him, you have for a while, you just refuse to admit it. I don't know if you're afraid that it makes you weak, or, what... but it's ok to love him. You can love him, and still not keep him. You make whatever decision you choose, because you love him. Whatever you do, is because you love him."

"But," she sniffles, "That's not enough."

She looks at the baby, and then she looks at Maura.

"I am so afraid that whatever I decide, will be the villain. What if no matter what I do, or you do, he turns out to be a monster?"

"He's not a monster. Jane, look at him. He's innocent. He is going to be a monster."

"But..." she tries to argue.

"Am I a monster?"

"No," Jane admits.

"Was my sperm donor?"

"Yes."

"It doesn't matter. The sperm doesn't count that much."

"That is not a scientific answer," Jane points out.

"It may determine hair color, or eye color, but it doesn't determine the kind of person you become. Hoyt is dead, he can't influence this sweet little boy. All he really was, was a sperm donor. Jane, I think that you should take some more time, to think about this."

"I don't want time, Maura."

"I'm not so sure, that you want to give him up."

"I don't want him."

Maura stops her, "Why don't I go for a walk, and you can take some more time, with him?"

"Don't leave me alone, with him."

"Jane, you're not a monster. He's fine with you. I will just be in the nursery, talking to the nurses. Frost is just outside. I am not telling you to keep him, or not to. I am just telling you, that you need to spend some time with him, before you make up your mind."

Jane tries to argue, but Maura leaves the room. Jane takes a deep breath, and wipes the tears from her face. She feels the tiny, warm body, resting, against her. She closes her eyes. She listens to him breathe. She opens her eyes, again, and looks at his tiny face.

"Why won't you eat?" she quizzes.

He opens his eyes, and looks at her.

"You have to be hungry."

He sucks on his fingers, to confirm this.

"Could you try this bottle?" she begs, holding the bottle up. She attempts to get him to drink it. He puckers up, wrinkles his forehead, and flatly refuses.

"Listen, if you don't start eating, they will run a tube down your nose. You don't want that, do you?"

He places his tiny hand on her chest, over her heart.

"That is not necessary," she tells him.

He answers with a scream. He screams, and screams.

"I know that you weren't ready to be here, and I'm sorry for that. I am sorry for everything."

He screams louder.

"I don't know what you want. I can't help you."

He holds his breath, for a moment.

"Please, don't do that. Please just stop crying, I can't handle crying, not today. Not ever. I just need you to stop, please. Please, stop crying," she begs, on the verge of tears.

His face is bright red, as he continues to scream. She stares at the newborn, in terror.

Outside the door Frost hears him screaming. He goes into panic mode. He tries to decide whether or not to burst into the room, and make sure that everything is alright. He chooses not to. He listens to the crying, for a few more moments, before making a decision. He slowly rises, from his seat on the floor, and heads to the nursery, to get Maura.


	30. Conflicted Heart

By the time that Maura reaches Jane's room, the crying has ceased. She slowly opens the door, and peeks in. She pulls it closed, behind her. Frost just looks at her.

"You're not going in?"

"No."

"Did she smother him?" Frost questions.

"No."

Frost reaches for the door handle. Maura pushes his hand off of it.

"You can't go in there right now," she tells him.

"Why not?"

"Because I said so," she answers.

"I saw her give birth. I think that..."

"No."

She looks at the baby, whose eyes are wide open.

"This isn't fair, you know," she tells him.

He ignores her, and continues with the task at hand.

Maura, and Barry head to the cafeteria, for a while. Maura returns to Jane's room, about an hour later. Barry heads home, for a quick shower. Maura knocks on Jane's door. There is no answer. Maura pushes the door open, and steps inside.

Jane sleeps with the newborn, on her chest. He lies perfectly still, as he sleeps, peacefully. Maura quietly walks over to the bed. She takes a seat in the chair.

"I'm not asleep," Jane informs her.

"It's ok, if you are."

"Did you eat?"

"Yes. Did you want anything?"

"I'm ok."

"How did it go?"

"I don't know."

"So, what does this mean?"

"He doesn't play fair," Jane begins.

"Babies rarely do. So what does it mean?"

"That he sees me as a food source," Jane responds.

"Clearly. Does it mean that you want to keep him?"

"No."

"Then what does it mean?"

"I don't want them to have to give him a feeding tube."

"Jane..."

"Maura, I don't want this, I don't want him."

Maura looks away.

"What?" Jane questions.

"How can you look at him, and say that?"

"What do you mean?"

"He's so sweet, and innocent."

"Rationally, I know it's not his fault, but..."

"I guess that I can understand. It would be hard."

"I am not cut out for this. I have never wanted children. I am impatient, I can't stand crying. I don't want to do this. I can't do this."

"You _can_ do anything, that you want to."

"I don't want to do this."

"Ok," Maura nods.

"Will you take him, please?" Jane begs.

Maura nods, "Do you want me to take him back to the nursery? The pediatrician will be here soon."

"That's fine."

Maura takes the baby from Jane's arms. She kisses him, and places him in his basinet. She heads for the door, afraid to ask anymore questions, not wanting to push Jane, too hard.

Frost heads into the room, as Maura heads out. He takes a seat in the chair, next to Jane.

"You look drained," he comments.

She simply nods.

"I bet there are a lot of things that are going through your mind right now."

"Yeah, starting with all of the things that I did wrong."

"It's too late, to worry about them, now," he tells her.

"I just want to go home," she admits.

"I know, but you're not ready."

"Maura thinks that I need more time."

"Before you go home? You do."

"To decide."

"Oh. I thought that you had already made your decision."

"I have."

"Ok."

"Why did you bring him in here?"

"You may not want to raise him, but it doesn't change the fact that he's a part of you. You shouldn't be afraid to see him, or hold him. He doesn't bite."

"Right now, I just want to run away."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to face this. There are going to be a lot of questions, from a lot of different people, and I don't want to answer them. I don't even know how to answer them."

"You can't run away. It's not going to solve anything."

"I could leave, and go somewhere else, where no one knows me."

"Jane, you can't run away, from yourself. Wherever you go, your emotional baggage is going to follow."

"But he'll be here."

"Yeah, he will. Would you be ok with that?"

"He'll be fine, with Maura. And, she has my mother too."

"Are you ever going to tell your mother?"

"No, probably not. We already discussed this."

"Then let's talk about something else."

"Like what?"

"What do you feel, when you hold him?"

"Frost..."

"I know that you feel a lot of things. I can see how difficult it is. Just pick one thing, that you're feeling."

"Conflicted," she admits.


	31. Hearts War

"Conflicted? Ok. Why?"

"I am tired of talking about this."

"Jane, it's never going to go away," he reminds her.

"I feel conflicted, because I am technically his mother. I should want to love him. I should want him, but I don't, and I can't. I don't want to look at him every single day, for the rest of my life, and wonder, and worry. I don't want to have to be reminded every single day, of the monster, who created him. I shouldn't have to spend every day, in fear, wondering if it could happen again. I still think about it, all of the time. How did someone get into my home, without me knowing? How..." she trails off, feeling as if she's going to cry.

"I know."

"How could anyone, ever do that, to another human being?"

"I don't know," he shrugs.

"I don't remember, and I don't ever want to."

"I don't blame you."

"I just don't want him to spend every single do of his life thinking that he was a mistake. I know that I can never love him, unconditionally. I hate this. I hate every single second of it. I hate the fact that I was put in this position. I hate the fact, that this is the decision I have to make. I hate the monster who did this to me, but..." she pauses, "Right now, I hate me, too," she begins to cry.

He looks at her, in confusion, "Why would you hate you? Why would you even say something like that?"

"Because I feel like a monster, too."

"Why would you feel like a monster? You didn't do anything wrong. Most of this was beyond your control. You recognized that you couldn't do this, so you chose what would be best, for him."

"Having a child, is supposed to be the happiest day, in someone's life. And, I just feel miserable. I am the one who is supposed to make him feel loved, and wanted, and I can't."

"But someone will."

"I see the incredible person that Maura is, but I also see, how much it hurts her, that someone didn't want her. Is he going to wonder, why I didn't want him? Will he feel like I didn't want him? What if he thinks that there is something wrong with him, that it was something that he did? I can't expect Maura to explain it to him."

"Jane, no matter what happens, or what choice could have, or should have been made, it sucks, from all angles."

"If you deleted the circumstances of his conception, from your mind, what would you do, then?"

"I can't."

"Try."

Maura sits in the nursery, in a rocking chair. She rocks the baby, in her arms, back and forth, back and forth. She closely studies his facial features. Mostly, he looks like Jane, except for a couple of features, that she can't place. She furrows her brows, feeling frustrated.

Exhausted, and needing a break, she leaves the nursery. She gets into her car, and heads to the lab. She sneaks into the building. She goes into her office, closing the door behind her. She locks the door. She sinks into her chair, and begins to sort through her mail. She stops, when she finds a letter, that is from Massachusetts Correctional Facility. She slices it open, with her letter opener, and pulls the tri-folded piece of paper out.

_Dr. Isles,_

_This would ruin his master plan, but you will find out sooner or later. I have done things, to lead you, and the detectives you work with, to believe what I want them to. All I am going to say, is that you should re-check your test results._

_James J. Young_

Maura returns to the hospital, just long enough to collect a cheek swab, from the baby, and returns to her lab.

Jane lies quietly in her bed, trying to sleep. She looks over, at Frost. He sits there, silently, just watching her, dutifully.

"You can go, too, if you want."

"Maura will be back soon," he tells her.

"You don't have to stay with me, you know."

"Where else would I be?"

"Work."

"I took the day off. I am going back tomorrow, though."

"You don't have to stay with me. I'll be ok."

"If you want me to leave, say so."

"I'm tired."

"Then, I can go."

"But don't leave," she tells him.

"How about I leave the room, so you can get some sleep, but I'll stay in the hospital?"

"Ok," Jane agrees.

"I'll go to the nursery to check in on little man."

"Ok," she nods.

He leaves the room. He heads down the hallway, to the nursery. He steps into the nursery, and makes a beeline, for the baby, with the nametag with _Rizzoli_ written on it. He slips the sleeping baby out the basinet, and takes a seat in the rocking chair. He smiles, and holds the baby close to his heart.

"Hey, little man. How are you doing?"

A nurse comes over, she smiles, and looks at the two of them. She's a different nurse, than before.

"I'm Kayla," she introduces herself.

"Where is Brandy?"

"She went home for the day," she reveals.

"Oh."

"He's got your lips," she comments.

"Oh, he's not mine," he tells her, "I mean, look at how white he is."

"I've seen whiter babies, turn out to be biracial. They get darker," she tells him.

He smiles, giving in, "I just meant, he's not mine, biologically."

"I'm sorry, my bad."

"That's ok. Thank you, though."

"He's handsome, either way."

"That's for sure," Frost agrees.

The nurse returns to the desk. He looks at the sleepy baby, who sucks on his fingers.

"Why don't we go for a visit? Huh?"


	32. Heart Lies

She wakes up early the next morning, after having one of the longest days of her life. She gets dressed, and stumbles down the stairs of a cup of coffee. She finds that the kitchen is already occupied, by Angela, who sips a cup of tea.

"Where was everyone, yesterday?"

"Who?" Maura plays dumb.

"You, and Jane, and Barry."

"We were really busy, working on a case."

"Vince said he didn't know where the three of you were, that you were taking some personal time."

"We are working on a case, undercover."

"And Korsak doesn't know?"

"No," Maura answers, not wanting to dig herself any deeper."

"Will you be back, today?"

"Jane and I won't, but I think that Barry will."

"I haven't talked to Jane. Is she alright? She won't answer my phone calls."

"She lost her phone. She's trying to find it, because it's a department cell phone, and they charge you some ridiculous amount of money to replace it," she half lies.

"Oh. Maybe I'll stop in, and bring her breakfast, this morning."

"She got home really late, so I doubt she'll be up."

"You're coming up with excuses for her, aren't you?"

"I have never been a very good liar," Maura reminds her.

"Here," Angela hands her a cup of coffee, in a travel mug.

"Thank you," she smiles, as she grabs her purse, and heads for the door.

When Maura arrives at the hospital, she heads to Jane's room. She finds Jane staring at the baby. He lays on her lap, sound asleep.

"How was your night?" Maura asks.

"Fine. How was yours?"

"Long."

"You didn't come back, last night," Jane points out.

"I had some work to do."

"What work?"

"I received a letter from..." she pauses.

"From Hoyt?" Jane guesses.

"No," Maura shakes her head, "From James."

"Oh. What did it say?"

"I re-ran the DNA test," Maura responds.

"Why?"

"Because in his letter, he said that I should."

"It's probably a ploy," Jane suggests.

"I sent a sample out, to a private lab, in addition to performing the test again, myself."

"You did another DNA test?"

"It's far less invasive, now. I can just swab his cheek."

"And you found out that you wasted your time, redoing the test?"

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean, not exactly?"

"I got different results."

"How?"

"I think that my computer may have been hacked, the first time. The courier, has a degree in computer science."

"So why was he still working a dead end job?"

"I don't know," Maura shrugs.

"What are you telling me?"

"That according to the new test, my original results were wrong."

"Or, he could be playing you. Maybe he hacked into your computer this time."

"That is why I sent it to an independent lab."

"What are you telling me?"

"That according to the new test results, he," Maura points, "does not belong to Charles Hoyt."

"What about the son?"

"He's not the son."

"James?" Jane responds.

"No."

"You're certain?"

"I am certain that is what the DNA test concluded, this time."

"Oh."

"I put a rush on the results from the other lab. They'll be sent to my blackberry, when they are done."

"So, either someone is playing a game with us, again, or Hoyt isn't the..."

"Sperm donor," Maura finishes.

Jane looks at the baby, and then at Maura.

"Does that change your mind?" Maura questions.

"Are you telling me what you think I want to hear, so I do, what you think that I should?"

"No."

"Good."

"Does it change things?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"Jane, if you don't want to do this, that's ok."

"Do what?"

"Go through with things."

"I just... I need..."

"Take all the time you need. Just think about it this way, love him, for who he is, not who is father is, or who he may, or may not become."

"You want this, you always have. I don't."

"Oh, I am running his DNA against other databases, to see if I can find a match."

"Do you want me to change my mind? I get the feeling that you, and Frost want me to change my mind. If you think that what I am doing is a mistake, just say so, and..."

"You're not going home for a couple of days. You don't need to rush things."

"I am going home later today."

"Since when?"

"Since they said that I could."

"I was unaware of that."

"You would have known, if you had been here last night."

"Are you sure that you're ready?"

"Yeah," she nods.


	33. Heart's Betrayal

Maura comes into the room, and finds that Jane's IV has been discontinued. Jane is fully dressed, and ready to go home.

"You're ready?"

Jane looks around the room. She looks at her bags, and then to something else. She grabs something off the bedside table, she gets up, and hands it to Maura.

"Can you take those to the nursery, before we leave?"

"Are you sure about this?"

"Which part? Leaving? I'm sure."

"Pumping. You're still ok with it?"

"What choice do I have? He has refused every type of formula here."

"You don't have to do it. They have banks, and..."

"I'm not going to let him go hungry."

"But you don't have to do it, if you feel like you can't."

"Maura it's ok."

Maura walks Jane into her apartment. She lingers, after Jane tosses her bags down, and settles into her bed.

"Do you want me to stay?"

"No. You should go. I'm just going to sleep for a while."

"Do you need anything?"

"No."

"Do you want me to fill your prescription?"

"I didn't take any narcotics when I was there, and I'm not going to take any now."

"As long as you're sure."

"Go, I'll be fine."

"Ok."

"Lock the door, on your way out."

"Ok," Maura nods.

On her way to the hospital, Jane's blackberry buzzes. She checks the DNA results, from the test.

Jane falls asleep, surprisingly quickly.

_She finds herself in a dark room. She stands in the doorway. She watches, as a figure stands over the crib. She steps closer. She sees a familiar face._

_"How nice of you to join us, Jane," his lips curl into an evil grin._

_She looks at the sleeping baby inside of the crib. _

_Hoyt reaches in, and scoops him out. "Come on son, I have great plans for you."_

_"You can't have him," Jane argues._

_"Too late," he answers, as he leaves the room, with the baby in his arms._

She wakes up, breathing heavily. She realizes that it's a dream. She closes her eyes to go back to sleep. Before long, she's back to her dreams.

_She opens her eyes, and finds a terrible scene, before her. She looks down, and notices the duct tape, around her wrists. She lies in her bed, helplessly. She looks up, and finds two men standing at the end of her bed. Directly in front of her, is a tall, muscular younger man. To his right is a face, that is too familiar._

_Hoyt smiles at her, "So we meet again."_

_That's when she notices the scalpel in the apprentice's hand. She feels herself struggling to catch her breath. _

_Hoyt laughs, viciously, "I'm dying, and tonight is the night, that I'm taking you with me."_

_"You're going to let him do it? I thought that you wanted to feel my blood, on your hands," Jane answers._

_"It's better this way. Take off your mask, my son," he looks at the young man, standing in front of Jane._

_He peels the mask off. Jane stares at the face. He's young, maybe eighteen. He's got jet black hair, and eyes of coal. She instantly recognizes him. She stares at him, in horror._

_"He turned out just the way I wanted him to. The perfect seed," Hoyt taunts her._

_"He is my son."_

_"And you are going to die at his hands. It's perfect, don't you think. Your worse fears, confirmed. You didn't want him, but I do," he snickers._

She jerks back into reality. She opens her eyes, and looks around the room. It's mid-afternoon. She sits up, on the side of the bed, not wanting to fall back asleep. She listens to the quiet. She reaches for the phone, to call Maura, when it rings.

"Hello?"

"Did I wake you?"

"No, I just woke up."

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah," her voice cracks as tears well up in her eyes.

"You sound as if you're about to cry. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything."

"Which is it?"

"I don't know. I just..."

"Why don't I come over?"

"Can you bring me..."

"Yes, I'll be there in a few minutes."

Maura arrives twenty minutes later. Jane is sitting on the couch, staring at the door, when she arrives.

"Come in," Jane tells her, when she knocks.

Maura opens the unlocked door, and steps in.

"You look as if you've seen a ghost," Maura comments.

"Just the ghost of the devil himself."

"When?"

"In my dreams," she clarifies.

"I'm sorry."

"Can we just go, now?"

"Yeah," Maura nods.

Jane buckles herself into the passenger's seat. Before they can reach the hospital, she's fallen asleep.

_She stares at the young man, who stands at the foot of her bed. Hoyt stands in the periphery, wanting their son to take center stage. _

_"Don't do this," she begs._

_"Don't listen to her," Hoyt counters._

_"I'm sorry. None of this is your fault," Jane adds._

_"It's too late, to be sorry, now," he steps forward, with the scalpel in his hand. He presses it to her neck. He doesn't hesitate, for a single second. He slices, from ear, to ear._


	34. Heart Divided

She returns to consciousness, gasping for air. She opens her eyes, and finds Maura staring at her. They're sitting in the parking garage, of the hospital. Maura waits for her to catch her breath.

"Are you ok?" she questions.

"Don't let me fall asleep anymore," Jane begs.

"I can't promise that."

"Maura, I keep having these awful dreams."

"It's just anxiety," Maura tells her.

"That he ends up just like him," Jane adds.

"He won't."

"How do you know that? He could."

"Jane he..."

"I know what you said earlier, but I think that it's just a game. The courier is just screwing with you, to screw with me. The kid has no sense of remorse."

"That's why I am waiting for the test from the independent lab to come back."

"Maura, just forget it."

"I am not going to forget it. I am tired of him torturing you, from his grave."

"Maura, evil never truly dies. He's dead, and he's still screwing with me. He's trying to break me."

"He can't..."

Jane cuts her off, "He has already succeeded. Right now, I don't care about anything. I don't even care about being a cop. I just want this all to go away. I just want this all to be over with."

"I know. Jane, we need to talk."

"About what, Maura? I have talked, and talked, and it doesn't make any difference."

"I'm not sure that I'm the right person to do this."

"You don't want him, either? Are you afraid that he'll end up just like Hoyt, too?"

"No, it's not that. I am just worried about you."

"What do you mean?"

"Jane we're best friends, we see each other pretty much every day. We work together. How are you going to be able to handle hearing about him, and seeing him, all the time? Are you really ok with that? Are you sure that you can handle that?"

"What choice do I have?"

"You can pick someone else."

"Maura there is no one else. I don't trust anyone else."

"That's why you chose me?"

"Yes."

"Are you still sure that you want to do this?"

"I'm not sure about anything, right now."

"Ok," Maura relents.

They make their way, out of the car, to the elevator. They head into the hospital. Maura stops, in the waiting room.

"Are you coming, or not?" Jane inquires.

"Or not," Maura answers.

"I can't go in there, alone."

"You will be fine. I'm just going to wait out here."

"Why?"

"I have some phone calls to make," Maura lies.

"Ok," Jane continues down the hallway.

She stops at the nursery, and stares through the window, for a while. She looks at all of the babies. Half of them are crying. The other half lie perfectly still, sleeping, soundly. Hers sleeps peacefully, as she watches.

Finally she gets enough courage, to go inside. She pulls the door open, and steps inside. She goes over to his basinet, and just looks inside. She sees an innocent little face. She takes a deep breath.

"Come on, baby," she tells him.

His eyes open widely, as she scoops him out of his basinet. She slowly, and carefully takes a seat in the rocking chair, with him. He looks at her, as she stares at him. She studies his face, carefully. She sees herself mostly, but nothing looks distinctly Hoyt. His big eyes lock onto hers.

She unwraps him. He wears a white, long sleeved t-shirt. He flinches, when she touches his foot, with her finger. She moves him, from her lap, to her chest. He rests, with his ear against her heart. She covers him with the blanket. He places his tiny hand on her heart. She rocks back, and forth, in silence, just staring at his tiny face, which he has turned towards her. He rests quietly. She feels his tiny warm body, against her skin. She notices for the first time, how small his hand is. How tiny, all of him is. The cap on his head, nearly falls over his eyes. She peels it off.

She runs her fingers through his hair. He opens his eyes, and looks at her. She sighs.

"Hi, little guy," she greets him.

His eyes open wider, as she speaks. It's clear that he recognizes her voice.

"I didn't mean to wake you up. You can go back to sleep," she tells him.

He ignores her request. His eyes move towards her face, to locate the source of her voice. He yawns.

"Sleepy boy."

Frost stops, when he sees Maura, in the waiting room. He looks at her, puzzled.

"What are you doing here, in the waiting room, I mean."

"Jane is in with be baby."

"She is? I thought that she went home."

"She did."

"How is she?"

"I don't know," Maura shrugs, "She's hard to read, right now."

"How is he?"

"As sweet as ever," she responds.

"Maura?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think that she's going to take him home?"

"I think that she's afraid."

"Of what? He's a baby."

"That she isn't what he needs, that she can't love him."

"She already does, love him."

"Yes, but she refuses to see that."

"What are you going to do, if you take him home, and she changes her mind."

"That's ok."

"And if she doesn't?"

"That's ok, too."

"She shouldn't have to make this choice. She shouldn't have to decide, whether or not to keep her baby."

"But that isn't the part that she's conflicted about," Maura points out.

"I know, it's whether or not, to keep Hoyt's baby."


	35. His Heart

"He may not even be, his."

"What are you talking about? We already know that he is."

"I haven't had the chance to talk to you," she admits.

"About what?" Frost questions.

"I received a letter from the courier."

"What did it say?"

"That I should rerun the test."

"And did you?"

"I did."

"What did it say?"

"That it's not Hoyt."

"That's great news."

"The courier has a degree in computer science."

"So?"

"I don't know if I was hacked before, or if I was hacked, last time."

"So you don't know if the test results are accurate, or not."

"Exactly. I sent out a second sample, to another lab."

"And what did it say?"

"It hasn't come back yet."

"So have you run his DNA against other databases?"

"I have."

"Have you come up with anything?"

She nods, and pulls out her phone. She pushes a few keystrokes, and shows it to him.

The nurse approaches Jane. She smiles, kindly. She looks at the baby, and then at Jane.

"He looks like you," she comments.

"Thank goodness."

"What do you mean?"

"It's a good thing that he doesn't look like..."

The nurse cuts her off, "Your husband isn't bad looking."

"My husband? I'm not married."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I just assumed, because he's in here so much."

"Who?"

The nurse looks up, and finds Frost standing in the window. She waves at him.

"Him," she answers.

Jane looks up, "He's just my partner."

"Oh."

Jane chooses not to clarify.

"I am sorry, I shouldn't have assumed."

"It's ok," Jane tells her.

"So, I probably shouldn't assume that he's the father, either, then, should I?"

"What did he say?"

"He dodges my questions, for the most part," she admits.

"Oh."

"I think I am going to go work on my charting, just let me know, if you need anything."

"Ok," Jane nods.

Frost comes into the nursery. He smiles at Jane, holding the baby.

"What are you doing here? I thought that you went home."

"I did, but I came back. Why are you here, shouldn't you be at work?"

"It's five thirty."

"You never get off that early."

"I did, today."

"Why? You knew that I went home," Jane points out.

"I have other people to see, here."

"Are you getting attached?" Jane wonders.

"Are you?"

"Answer the question," Jane insists.

"Would it be the end of the world, if I said that I was?"

"No, I guess not. Have you been flirting with the nurses?"

"No."

"They have gotten the impression that you are my husband."

"I never said that," he argues.

"And that you're his father. Why, I don't know. He looks nothing like you, and despite the obvious."

"The obvious? What would that be?"

"He's white."

Frost laughs, "The nurse yesterday, said she had seen whiter babies, be black."

"What?!"

"She just meant, that they get darker, when they get older."

"So she just assumed, because you were in here, holding him?"

He shrugs, "I guess. Can I have him?"

Jane gently pats the, now, sleeping baby's back. "No."

"Are you getting attached?"

"Did Maura tell you, what she found out?"

"Yes," Frost answers.

"I think that he's just screwing with her."

"I know, so do I," Frost admits.

"I feel completely drained."

"Oh, your mother was asking about you."

"What did you tell her?"

"I didn't tell her anything."

"Maura lied to her."

"So, seriously, can I have him?"

"No," Jane refuses.

"Jane?"

"Hmm?"

"Talk to me."

"No," she answers, feeling the urge to cry.

"Why not?"

"Because I can't," she argues, breaking eye contact, looking away.

"You can talk to me," he tells her.

"Whatever Maura finds out, doesn't really matter," she begins.

"Since when? It's been all that has mattered to you, lately."

"I don't care anymore. I had these terrible nightmares."

"Oh."

"And... it made me realize something," she reveals, as the tears start to trickle down her face.

"What's that?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Why, not?"

"Because he's mine," she responds.

"What are you saying?"


	36. Unselfish Heart

"He's mine," she repeats.

"Yes, I know that."

"I don't know how to be a mother," she adds.

"Where is this going?" he wonders.

She looks at her baby, but says nothing.

"You want to keep him?"

She simply nods.

"Ok."

She quickly tacks on an addendum, "I want to, but I can't. Me, keeping him, will turn him into a monster."

"You don't know that."

"No, but I can't take the chance."

"So..."

"Wherever he is, I am going to love him."

"But?"

"I can't be that selfish, to think that I can overcome it all. I want to think that I can, but I can't."

When he leaves the nursery, Maura is waiting for him, in the hallway. He looks at her, with mixed emotions.

"Did you tell her?" Maura inquires.

"No," he shakes his head.

"Why not?"

He swallows hard. "I couldn't."

"Frost, what's wrong?"

"She doesn't want to keep him."

"Maybe if she knew."

"You should tell her, but I don't think that she's ready."

Maura finds Jane, sitting in the rocking chair, holding the baby, boy.

"He looks like you," Maura comments.

"Maura, stop. I can't keep him."

"Jane, I got a letter, from the courier."

"Another one?"

"I ran some tests, and according to the results I received, he does not belong to Hoyt."

"Maura, are you sure?"

"No. I had the DNA samples sent to different labs, to ensure accurate results."

"Maura, I can't do this. I can't be on this emotional roller coaster."

"If he's not, does it change your mind?"

Jane looks at the sleeping baby, and shrugs, "I don't know. I just know that I'm not ready for all of this. I am not emotionally prepared to be his mother."

"Even if..."

Jane cuts her off, "He isn't the evil seed, of Charles Hoyt?" Jane supplies.

"Jane, you can't think like that. Hoyt is dead. That baby, that little boy, is yours."

"I just don't think that I can do it."

"I'll help you."

"What if all of this is too much? What if I go off the deep end?"

"Then I will take care of him."

"Maura, I can't do this, right now."

"We can have this conversation, some other time, that's ok."

Jane shakes her head, "No, I can't do this, right now. I can't be his mother. I'm not ready."

"Every mother says that."

"I mean it, Maura, I can't."

"Jane..." Maura tries to reason.

Jane won't hear her, "I know that you think I'm making a mistake, but I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to turn him into a monster."

"You won't."

"Maura, I need you to do this for me. Maybe one day, I'll be able to do this, but not now, I just can't."

"No," Maura shakes her head.

"No?"

"It doesn't work that way. You don't get to jerk everyone around. I know that you've been through hell, and I won't diminish that. You can't give him to me, and then take him back. It isn't fair to me, but most importantly, it's not fair to him."

"He's my son," Jane argues.

"Then act like it."

"Maura what are you telling me? You are my best friend, and I need..."

"I won't do it. I'm sorry, but I can't. He's a child, not a dress that you can loan to someone, and then want back."

Jane looks at the sleeping baby in her arms. The tears fall, before she can attempt to stop them. Maura's phone dings, as she, herself is on the verge of tears. She sniffles, and scrolls through the email.

"The test results came back," Maura reveals, clearing her throat.

"From the other lab?" Jane questions, solemnly.

"No those aren't in yet."

"Oh."

"Do you want me to wait, to tell you, what my test results indicated?"

"I thought that you said the DNA wasn't a match to Hoyt."

"It's not. I ran the DNA through multiple other DNA databases, in order to attempt to locate a familial match."

"And get my hopes up, that his biological father is some random, unsuspecting stranger, or criminal?"

"He's not."

"He's not? What do you mean?"

"It's not a stranger, or a criminal."

"Who is it?"

"Frost," Maura answers, looking into the doorway.

Jane looks at her, and furrows her brow, "Come again?" She sees Frost standing in the doorway.

Frost steps into the nursery. Maura smiles politely, and leaves the room.

"That's not possible," Jane tells him, "We have never," she begins.

"When I was in college, I needed some extra money, and I donated my..." he begins, his voice shaking.

"Your sperm? Frost? That's disgusting."

"But, after I did it, I changed my mind. I called them, and told them. It was never used."

"Wouldn't they have destroyed it?"

"I went in, and there was a really cute intern there. I persuaded her to keep it, just in case anything ever happened to me, and my future wife..."

She cuts him off, "Eww. You can stop there."

"But, I am not going to believe anything, until the second test results come back."

Jane looks at the baby, and then at Frost, "I don't see it."

"I know, he's probably just screwing with us."


	37. Heart's Home

Vince watches Frost closely, as he enters the squad room, that morning. He takes a deep breath, and decides to confront him.

"So the captain is refusing to answer my questions," Korsak begins.

"About what?" Frost raises an eyebrow.

"Where is your partner?"

"You expect me to know?" Frost counters.

"She's your partner, and where is Maura?"

Frankie looks up, at this point. Frost motions for him.

"I am only going to explain once," Frost tells them.

They both nod in agreement, "Where is Jane?" Vince repeats.

"Jane had a car accident a few days ago, she's fine, but she has a concussion, and a few other injuries. Nothing life threatening, or anything. Her wrist has a hairline fracture, and she has some stitches. She'll be back soon."

"Why didn't you tell us this?" Frankie questions.

"You know Jane, and her wounded pride. She didn't want you guys to know that she smashed her squad car to pieces."

"Was it her fault?" Vince inquires.

"No, but she thinks that she can control everything, so she feels that she's to blame," Frost explains.

"Does my mother know?" Frankie chimes in.

"No, and I don't think that you should tell her, either," Frost warns.

"Why not? She's been worried sick about her."

"Jane should be the one to tell her," Vince answers.

Frankie nods, in understanding.

"What about Maura, where is she?"

"She is keeping an eye after Jane, making sure that she doesn't do something stupid."

"Are you ready?" Maura asks her.

She stares at the little boy, fastened into a car seat.

"No," she shakes her head.

"Remember, this is just temporary, until we get the DNA figured out, for sure."

"Maura, I don't want him," Jane answers, coldly.

"You want him to become a ward of the state?"

"No, I want you to take him."

"That's not going to happen."

"But..."

"Especially not, if Frost is his father. Even if you don't want him, Barry does."

"You're going to stay with me, right?"

"For a while. Barry, will come to pick him up, when he gets off work."

Jane looks at the baby, "Poor baby, doesn't even have a name. What were you going to name him?"

"Connor. You can call him whatever you'd like."

"He's not my baby."

"He is, and Frost already told me that he doesn't care if you name him."

"That doesn't help."

"What do you want me to do? Pull a name book out of my purse?"

"There's one in there, isn't there?" Jane eyes the large bag, suspiciously.

Maura rolls her eyes, and reaches in her bag. She pulls the book out, and hands it to Jane.

"What are you going to do, just randomly pick one?"

"Until I find one that fits," she answers.

"Ok," Maura sighs.

Jane flips through, stops, and puts her finger on a name, "Daniel."

"No," Maura shakes her head.

Jane flips a little bit farther. She lands on a second name, "Grayson," she announces.

They both look at the baby. Jane furrows her brow, "I don't think that's it, either."

"How long are we going to do this for? There are a lot of names in there."

"The next one is it, no matter what it is, even if it's Fred," Jane tells her.

"You're past F."

Jane flips past G, she stops many pages later. She puts her finger on a line. She reads it to herself, and then looks at Maura.

"Are you going to tell me, or is it so horrendous that you can't even say it out loud?"

"Josiah," Jane answers.

Maura looks at the baby, who sits in his car seat, silently, with a pacifier in his mouth.

"I like it," Maura admits.

Jane slowly thumbs through the next few pages. She closes the book, and hands it back to Maura.

"That's it? You give up, already?" Maura questions, as she sticks the book back into her purse.

"No."

"No? So does he have a name, or not?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to tell me what it is?"

"Josiah," Jane answers.

"Does he have a middle name?"

"Just Josiah."

A few hours later, Jane is in the kitchen, cleaning. Josiah is asleep in his crib, which is inconveniently located in Jane's dining area. Maura has sent Jane's never used dining table to storage, to make room for the crib. Maura has left, temporarily, to pick up some things at the store.

Jane moves quickly towards the door, when she hears the knocking. She doesn't check the peep hole, assuming that it's Maura. She reaches for the door, with her unwrapped hand. She pulls it open, and finds someone that she isn't expecting.

"Frankie? What are you doing here? You should be at work."

"I brought lunch, I thought that you might be hungry."

"Oh."

"Can I come in?"

"I..."

"Don't worry, Frost told me about the car accident."

"He did?"

"Yeah, he said that you didn't want us to know, because your pride is wounded."

"You should get back to work, shouldn't you?"

"I've got a few minutes."

Jane steps aside, and lets him in. He makes his way to the kitchen. She closes the door behind him. As she makes her way to the kitchen, she looks over her shoulder, to make sure that the baby is still sleeping.

"Jane?"

"Yeah?"

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

"Those are some gnarly stitches," he looks at the stitches in her forehead.


	38. A Heart's Abomination

"There are only five. It's not as bad as it looks."

He studies her face. Surrounding the stitches is gigantic bruise.

"You don't have to be so tough, all of the time."

"Thanks for bringing me lunch."

"You should talk to ma, she's worried sick about you."

"I will."

"Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"I was busy being in the hospital."

"Who is your ICE contact? Ma?"

"Maura."

"Why?"

"Because if I am rendered unconscious I would rather Maura make the decisions, than Ma. Maura would use scientific inquiry, and her medical knowledge to make an informed decision. Ma, would let me be a vegetable for the rest of my life."

"Jane, what's going on with you, lately?"

"I don't know what that means, Frankie."

"You've been so distant. You barely talk, at all, unless it is about work. It's like you've completely shut down."

"Frankie, I don't want to talk about it."

"When are you coming back to work?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"You hit your head pretty hard, didn't you?"

"It was not a pleasant experience," she admits.

"Are you nervous about something?"

"No, why?"

"Because you keep looking over my shoulder," he informs her. His back faces the door.

"No, I don't," she argues.

"Yeah, you do," he turns, "Do I have something on me?"

"No."

He turns around, completely. He takes a moment to survey his surroundings. His eyes fall on the dining area.

"What's that, over there?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He turns around, to face her, so he can gauge her expression, as she speaks.

"Jane, why is there a basinet, in place of your table? What's going on, here?"

She looks away. She casts her glance, to the floor. It is silent, for several seconds.

"Jane, talk to me," he insists.

"Yes," she answers, refusing eye contact.

"There is a basinet over there? For what purpose?" he asks, his voice growing louder.

"Shh!" she warns him.

"Why are you shushing me?" his voice grows louder.

"Please, be quiet," she begs.

"Why? What are you afraid of?"

"Frankie, please, you'll wake the baby."

His eyes widen, and his jaw drops, "Come again? Baby? What baby?"

"The one that is sleeping, over there," she answers.

"Why is there a baby over there?"

"Where else would I fit a basinet, in here?"

"Jane? Why do you have a baby, in your dining room?"

"It's not a dining room, it's not big enough to be considered a dining room. It's a breakfast nook."

"With a cradle in it, instead."

"Yes, I know."

"Why?"

"I had to put the baby somewhere."

"Where did you get a baby?"

"It dropped from the sky, and fell into my lap," she replies, sarcastically.

"Seriously?"

"I kidnapped it."

"You didn't give birth to it, so where did you get it."

"Yes I did," she argues.

"You did, what?"

"Give birth."

"When?"

"Three days ago."

"Three days ago? What are you talking about? Jane you couldn't have given birth three days ago, you were never pregnant."

"Yes," she argues, "I was. I just never told you."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"Of course."

"How did this happen? I don't understand."

"Do you remember James Young?"

"Hoyt's kid?"

"Yes," Jane cringes.

"I remember reading the transcript from Frost's interrogation."

"Ok."

"What are you saying?"

"It was me."

"What was you?"

She exhales, "I am the reason that he is in prison."

Frankie has a light bulb moment. "He was talking about you? Jane I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wasn't going to tell anyone."

"What do you mean?"

"I was just going to have the baby, and..."

"Not keep it."

"Right," Jane nods.

"And never tell anyone?"

"Maura, Frost, and Cavanaugh, all know."

"Oh. Wait so..." he trails off, "Hoyt's..."

"Yes, but I don't want to talk about that."

"You're going to keep it?"

"Don't say it like that, please," she begs, in a small, weak, exhausted voice.

"Like what?"

"He's an abomination."

"I..." he looks away from her, trying his hardest not to say anything.


	39. Hateful Heart

"I am sorry. I just don't understand, I guess."

"It's complicated, and I'm not keeping him."

"You never looked pregnant."

"I found out, really late."

"But..."

"I made an effort to hide it. The baby was born over a month before he was due, anyway."

"Because of the car accident?"

"Yes," she confirms.

"And, you're going to keep it?"

"Don't call him it. He's a baby. I think you should go," she tells him, feeling uncomfortable in her own skin.

"Why? What did I say?"

"You don't have to like it, and you don't have to understand it, but please, just be my brother, and support me, in whatever I do, or don't do. I am exhausted, and traumatized. I can't do this, but don't look at him like he's an abomination. ," she begins to break down, "The last thing I need right now, is for you to question me about this. I can't take anymore questions."

"I'm sorry."

The tears stream down her face, "You have no idea how hard this decision was to make. How hard it still is. I keep dreaming that he turns into a monster. It scares the shit out of me. I never asked for this. I never... I didn't want this. I gave birth to the spawn of the devil, and..." she starts sobbing uncontrollably.

Frankie is taken aback at the sight of his sister, his hero, falling apart. He takes a step closer, and hugs her, tightly.

"Janie, it's ok."

She pushes him away, "I wish that everyone would stop saying that. It's not ok. None of this is ok. I shouldn't have to wonder, if I can love my own child. I shouldn't have to do any of this."

"Then why are you?"

"Charles Hoyt is dead. He can't control my life, anymore. He has tried his best, even from his grave, to break me. He's done his best, but..."

"But?"

"I gave birth to this tiny, innocent baby, that is supposed to drive me over the edge.""

"Jane, what are you doing?"

"I'm not keeping him."

"Why is he here?"

"I told you, it's complicated."

"Ok, whatever you do, or don't do, I've got your back," he admits.

"Now, you're trying to look out for me? It's too late now. I think you should go."

"Jane, I am not going to leave you like this."

"Like what? I just had a baby, I get to cry. I hate it, you hate it, but after everything I have been through I'm entitled to be upset."

Before he can argue, someone joins in on the crying. Without a word, in the blink of an eye Jane is across the room. She scoops the newborn out of the crib, and into her arms.

"I'm right here," she tells him.

He stops, instantly.

Frankie looks at her. She moves towards him. He looks at the tiny baby.

"Jane, what are you doing? It's a good thing you're not keeping it. You would grow to resent it. You are never home, you're married to the job. You can't do this, you're making the right decision."

"Shut up! Just shut up."

Frankie stops talking. He just stares at the baby in Jane's arms. Then, he looks at his sister. She's pale, and there are dark circles under her eyes. She looks exhausted, and emotionally drained. Clearly, she hasn't slept well, in more than a few days, maybe, he guesses, a few months. Haunted by ghosts, demons, and... a nightmare, that won't end. A nightmare that is reality.

She looks at the little guy, in her arms. She says nothing. She pretends that her brother isn't even in the room. She just focuses on the bright eyed little boy, in her arms. His eyes stare up at her, needing her, begging her to love him. She studies his tiny face, seeing more of herself, than anyone else.

Frankie studies the baby, who is wrapped in a yellow, and white blanket, and wears a yellow, and white cap, that matches. He tries to determine the gender of the baby. He quickly notices how much the infant looks like Jane. He knows if he opens his mouth the wrong thing will come out, so he remains silent.

"He's a boy," Jane reminds him.

"A boy?" it finally sinks in.

"His name is Josiah."

"Can I hold him?"

"Ok," Jane reluctantly places the baby into Frankie's arms.

Josiah instantly scrunches his face, in dissatisfaction, not recognizing the unfamiliar face.

"It's ok, buddy," Frankie tells him.

He looks around, and threatens to cry.

"I'm right here," Jane reassures him.

"So you have a son?"

"You can't tell ma. I'm not keeping him."

"It's your news to tell."

"I'm never going to tell her."

"Jane, you owe her some sort of explanation."

"No, I don't. This is my own personal hell, and I owe her nothing."

"You should go."

"Ok," he nods, and heads for the door.

"Don't tell," Jane reminds him, as he leaves.

"I won't," he shakes his head, in disbelief. He meets Maura in the hallway.

Maura pushes the door open. She enters the apartment, with a bag full of stuff. She sits it down on the couch, and looks at Jane. Jane stands in the middle of the living room, holding baby Josiah.

"So you told him?"

"I didn't have a choice. He popped in, unexpectedly."

"How did that go?"

"Terribly."

"He made you cry, didn't he?"

"Pretty much," she confirms.

"I can take little man, if you want to get some rest."


	40. Heart's Dream

Maura watches, as Jane places Josiah in his crib. Jane stands next to the crib, just watching him, sleep.

"People aren't going to understand this, are they? If, and when they find out. They'll never understand, why I didn't want him."

"I have a present for you," Maura tries to distract her.

"Maura I don't want anything. You've already done enough."

"No, come here," Maura insists, moving to the coffee table. She reaches in her purse, and pulls something out. Jane reluctantly comes over to the coffee table.

"Have a seat," Maura tells her.

"Maura..."

"Please," Maura insists.

Jane takes a seat. Maura hands her an envelope.

"What is this?" Jane wonders, "Season tickets to see the Celtics? Box seats for the Patriots?"

"Just open it," Maura tells her.

Jane lifts the flap, and pulls out the contents. She slowly reads the papers from inside the envelope. She thumbs through them, one by one. When she's done, she starts at the beginning, and reads them again. She starts to cry. She swallows hard, and looks up at Maura.

"Are you sure?" Jane questions through tears.

"There are so many, because I sent it to ten different labs. I wanted to be certain."

"So this means that my baby is not an abomination," Jane answers.

"I wouldn't have put it that way, but..."

"He's not Hoyt's?"

"No. Definitely not."

"He's..."

Maura nods, "Yes."

"Does Frost know?"

"No. I haven't told him. I wanted to tell you, first."

"Thank you," Jane hugs her. Jane lets go, to wipe away her tears.

"Does this change your decision?"

"No," she frowns, "It should, but, I just can't."

* * *

The scene is interrupted, by her gasping for air. She disappears from her living room. Everything goes black. She hears beeping, and someone breathing, nearby. She opens her eyes. She studies the scene, in confusion. She finds herself back in the hospital, hooked up to an IV, with oxygen in her nose. She looks over, and finds Frost sitting in the chair, next to her bed.

Her mouth feels dry, and cottony. She stares at him, as he reads a magazine. He, initially doesn't notice that she's awake. She clears her throat, and he looks up. He smiles at her.

"Nice of you to finally join us."

"Why am I here? How long have I been out?"

"You've been out for," he looks at his watch, "close to sixteen hours."

"What happened? I was just standing in the living room... and..."

"Jane you must have been dreaming."

"I don't understand."

"Jane, you just had a car accident."

"Three days ago," she argues.

"No," he shakes his head.

"Three days ago. I had the baby, and I already went home."

"I don't think that you're going to be going home, after three days."

"Why not? What do you mean?"

"They are monitoring you pretty closely. You hit your head pretty hard, on the steering wheel. They were afraid that it might cause your brain to bleed."

"My brain is bleeding?"

"No, they determined that it isn't anymore, but it is slightly swollen, from being banged around in your head."

"Oh."

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"I don't know, I remember being home, two days from now."

"What's the last thing you remember, after coming into the emergency room?"

"Going into the OR."

"The OR?" he raises an eyebrow.

"How is the baby?" she wonders.

He furrows his brow. He folds down her blanket, "I don't know. You tell me," he responds.

She looks down. She finds herself wearing a hospital gown. She realizes, quickly, that part of the beeping she's hearing are from a fetal monitor. She stares at her stomach. She places her hand on it. The baby moves, inside.

"I'm still pregnant," she swallows hard, trying to understand.

"Yeah, for now."

"What do you mean, for now?"

"They are trying to stop your labor."

"Where is Maura?"

"She went home, to get some sleep."

"Where is my mother?"

"I didn't tell her. I wasn't sure that you would want me to."

"No, I don't."

"So, then it's a good thing I didn't call her."

"What did the doctor say about the baby? Is he ok?"

"The baby looks fine, but there is something that I need to tell you."

"You may, possibly be the father?"

Frost furrows his brow, "What? I don't know anything about that. What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, clearly it was just part of a dream. What do you want to tell me?"

"Vince came in to see you."

"You told him?"

"About the accident, yes. About the baby, no. He doesn't know about the baby. You were covered up, the whole time. He doesn't know."

"Oh."

"He's worried about you."

"I'm fine. Will you call Maura? I need to talk to her."

"Ok," he agrees.


	41. Heart's Surprise

When Maura arrives, freshly showered, with her hair in a braid, and lounge-y clothes on, she sends Frost home, to rest. She takes a seat, beside Jane. It has been pre-warmed by Frost's butt.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm confused."

"About what?"

"I guess, that it was just a dream."

"What was?"

"That I had him, and that he was ok. That I was already home, and that I brought him home too. And I dreamt that you got a letter, from James Young, from prison, telling you that Hoyt might not be the father, that Frost might be. Right before I woke up, we were at my house, and you told me that Hoyt wasn't the father, for sure. You told me that Frost was the father."

"You didn't dream _all _of that," Maura tells her.

"What do you mean?" Jane wonders.

"Apparently some of what you heard was incorporated into the dream."

"Which parts?"

"You didn't have the baby yet, because the baby is still inside of you."

"But?"

"I did get a letter, you must have heard me."

"Heard you? Frost didn't know anything about it."

"I didn't tell him. I told you."

"Why?"

"Because I don't think that it's possible."

"What did you find out?"

"I ran the sample again, but I'm not sure if he's just screwing with me, or not. I don't have enough of a sample to send it out to another lab, yet."

"Oh."

"There is something else that you should know."

"What's that?"

"I didn't run the test myself, the last time."

"I assume you mean that your lab tech did."

"Yes."

"Why does it matter? Do you think she skewed the results?"

"No, if I had done them, I would have noticed earlier."

"Noticed what? Is there some congenital defect?"

"No, nothing like that."

"Then why are you bringing it up?"

"I missed something before."

"What's that? No more bad news, please," she begs.

"It's not."

"Then, don't tell me."

"Jane..."

"No, I don't want to know. It can be a surprise. If the baby comes out purple, with spots, I will just have to live with it."

Maura smiles, "Yes, I forgot to tell you, I found the father of your child," she starts to giggle, "It's Barney, the purple dinosaur."

"At least if it has a tail, we'll know why," she smiles.

"Tell me more about your dream."

"It was so real," she admits.

"It wasn't a purple dinosaur?"

"No."

The nurse knocks on the door, interrupting their conversation. She approaches Jane.

"We received the results of your amniocentesis," she informs her.

Jane furrows her brow, in confusion, "We wanted to determine if the baby's lungs are developed, or not," the nurse responds.

"Oh," Jane nods.

"They are, so, we are going to stop the medication that is slowing down your labor."

"How long will it take?"

The nurse shrugs, "It's your first?"

"And my last," Jane answers.

"You've been dilated at two, for quite some time. You weren't active labor, half an hour ago, when we checked you, so it could take hours, or days, or even weeks," the nurse reveals, as she discontinues the bag of IV fluids.

"Are they going to start her on pitocin?" Maura inquires.

"Her blood pressure is slightly elevated, and has been for some time. We aren't going to administer the pitocin at this time, because her blood pressure. However, her lab work indicates that it hasn't progressed to preeclampsia, yet. We're going to allow things to happen naturally, up to a point."

"For how long?"

"If her blood pressure doesn't change, we'll let her go, for as long as it takes. If her blood pressure starts to rise, we'll may opt for a c-section."

"So, you're just going to watch, and see?" Maura clarifies.

"Exactly. If her blood pressure starts rising dramatically, we may even do an emergency c-section."

"Why?" Jane wonders.

"Because if your blood pressure increases too much, you may have a stroke. We have to be especially careful, because you had increased intercranial pressure," the nurse explains.

"Oh," Jane frowns.

The nurse heads for the door, "I'll be back to check on you, shortly," she promises.

"How much longer am I going to be in here, for?" Jane questions.

"If you don't have the baby, and you're not in active labor, they're going to let you go home, tomorrow."

"And if I do?"

"At least a couple extra days."

"How long will he be here?"

"It depends."

Maura leaves briefly, to get Jane something to eat. When she returns, about an hour has passed. She closes the door behind her, when she steps into the room.

"Are you ok?" Maura inquires, noticing the peculiar look on Jane's face.

"Every part of my body aches, I feel like I've been hit by a truck."

"Well, technically, you were."

"And now, I think that I'm having contractions."

Maura glances at the monitor, "You're having one, right now," Maura tells her.

Jane takes a deep breath.

"You didn't take any prenatal classes, did you?" Maura realizes.

"Nope."

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes."

"I'll go get the nurse."


	42. Heart Contractions

Maura returns to the room, with the nurse. The nurse smiles kindly, as she pulls on sterile gloves.

"What are you doing?" Jane questions.

"She is going to check and see how far your cervix has dilated," Maura answers.

The nurse does her exam, and then covers Jane back up, and peels her gloves off.

"You're at six," the nurse tells her.

"Six? I was at two, an hour ago," Jane responds.

"You're at six centimeters."

"Ok," Jane nods.

"Do you want something, for pain?"

"No. I'm ok, right now. I'll wait."

The nurse leaves the room. Jane turns to Maura, with a blank look on her face.

"Do you want to tell me what that means?"

"Um.."

"Not in medical terms," Jane clarifies.

"It's probably going to happen today."

"Is it normal, to change that much, that quickly?"

"No. It's especially remarkable, because you've never had a baby before."

"His name isn't going to be Connor," Jane says, out of the blue.

"I know."

"And..."

"We can talk about it later. Do you need me to get you anything?"

"No."

"You should probably take something for pain, now, if you're going to take anything."

"I'm ok."

Half an hour later, Frost joins the party. The nurse comes in, behind him.

"What did I miss?"

"The baby's lungs are mature, and they are letting her labor progress naturally," Maura answers.

"You look pissed," Frost comments, after looking at Jane.

"You should probably step out," Maura warns, as the nurse dons her sterile gloves.

"Why?"

"Or, at least stay up here," Maura tells him, pointing towards Jane's shoulder.

"Are you ready?" the nurse asks Jane.

Jane nods. Frost quickly turns away, when he realizes what's going on.

"Your membranes have ruptured, and you're at... eight."

"Eight? It only goes to ten," is Jane's first reaction.

"You're almost there. I'm going to call the doctor, and I'll be back in about ten, or fifteen minutes," the nurse tells her.

Maura's phone rings, and she steps out of the room. Frost steals her seat. He looks at Jane.

"Do you want..." the nurse begins.

"No," she growls.

The nurse leaves the room.

"You didn't have to be so rude," Frost tells her.

"Where have you been?"

"I..."

She cuts him off, "Never mind, I don't want to hear it."

Maura comes back into the room.

"Sorry guys, I have to leave. There is a body I have to examine."

"Can't..." Jane starts.

"No, he's out of town, at a conference."

"Maura you can't leave me. I am about to have a baby. I can't have a baby, by myself."

"Frost can stay."

Frost shoots Maura a look, "Thank you, for volunteering me, but I don't think that Jane..."

"Ok," Jane agrees.

"Ok?!" Frost gives Jane a questioning look.

"Just suck it up."

"But, Jane."

"I've got to go," Maura tells her.

"Ok," Jane nods.

Maura leaves the room. Frost begins to panic.

"Please, don't leave me," she begs.

He takes a deep breath. He looks at Jane, who is completely terrified. He swallows hard, and takes a seat. He scoots close to her, and offers her his hand.

"Do you want some ice, or a cold rag?" He questions her calmly.

"No. I just want this over with."

"Just keep breathing."

"I can't do this."

"Jane, it's too late to back out, now. You have to deliver this baby."

"I'm scared," she admits.

He brushes the hair off her face. It's glued to her forehead, with sweat.

"Maura said earlier, that she left you a ponytail," he comments. He pulls open a drawer, and finds the ponytail holder. He smiles at her, "Here."

She leans up. She grips the side rail, of the bed, as she has a contraction. He carefully pulls her hair away from her face.

"It's not pretty, but it'll keep the hair out of your eyes."

"Thanks," she says, between contractions.

"Maura will be back, soon. Hopefully before this all goes down."

"Frost, she's not going to make it in time."

"How do you know?"

"I want to push."

"No, no, you can't push."

The nurse returns to the room. She pulls away pieces of the bed. She sets up the room, with a sterile tray of instruments, and a warmer. She uncovers Jane. She does another exam. She looks at Jane, and smiles.

"It's time," she tells her.

"No. I'm not ready."

"The doctor will be in, in just a minute. He's finishing up a c-section, downstairs."

"What if he doesn't make it?" Frost asks, stupidly.

"He'll make it."

A female doctor walks into the room. She quickly begins to gown up. She smiles at the nurse.

"Mindy, Dr. Harper sent me. It is taking him longer than he expected."

"Jane, this is doctor Grayson. Is it ok if she delivers your baby?"

"I don't care, just get it out," Jane responds, as she has a contraction.

"Ok, Jane, on your next contraction, you can push."


	43. Pink Heart

Mindy looks at Frost. "I'm going to need you to help me."

"What can I do?"

"Hold her leg. Keep your hand under the blue paper," she instructs.

"Ok," he nods, reluctantly grabbing a leg.

The doctor looks up at Jane, "Go ahead, and push."

Jane pushes, twice, and the doctor is pulling the baby out. Frost watches, as if it's a train wreck. It's so horrific, he can't look away. He holds his breath, waiting for the baby to cry. The baby squeals, turning from grey, to pink. The little one screams at the top of it's lungs.

"Here's your little girl," the doctor announces, as she places the baby on Jane's stomach.

"My what?" Jane looks at the doctor, in confusion.

"Girl. It's a girl," the nurse tells her.

"You didn't know you were having a girl?" the doctor questions.

"I was told it was a boy."

"Someone was mistaken. They should have corrected that, I saw the results of your first amniocentesis. It was clear, then, that you were having a girl."

The nurse hands Frost the scissors, "Go ahead," she instructs.

"Jane?" he looks at her, questioningly.

"Go ahead," Jane tells him.

He cuts the cord. They watch, as the nurse moves the baby to the warmer. After a few moments the nurse returns the baby to Jane, wrapped up, like a cocoon.

"We're getting ready to take her to the nursery."

Jane looks at the baby, and starts to cry, "Hi, little girl."

"Ok, we're going to take her to the NICU now, to be assessed."

"Ok," Jane nods.

"Wait," Frost pulls out his phone.

The nurse stops. He snaps a picture of the baby.

"Ok," he nods. He sends the picture to Maura.

An hour an a half later, a nurse brings the baby back, to Jane's room. She wheels the basinet into the room. Frost smiles, "Thank you." She leaves, and he studies the baby. All of the goo has been cleaned off of her, and she's tightly wrapped in a receiving blanket, with a pink, crocheted hat on her head. He looks at Jane, but says nothing. She gives him a subtle nod. He lifts the tiny newborn girl out of the bassinet, and places her in Jane's arms.

He watches Jane, as she studies her newborn. She pulls the baby's cap off, and finds a head full of dark hair. She replaces the cap, and unwraps the baby. She wears a long-sleeved, white t-shirt, and a diaper. Jane stares at her tiny, little face. A sleepy face, with her own features.

"Hi, sweet girl."

The baby opens her eyes. Jane places the baby against her chest.

"I guess that you couldn't wait any longer to get here, could you?" Jane questions.

The baby lifts her head, in an attempt to find her mother's voice.

"We thought that you were going to be a boy," Frost tells the newborn, as he looks at her tiny, precious face.

Jane looks at Frost, "I don't know anything about girls."

"Jane, you are a girl. I think that you just proved that."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know."

"I hope my mother's wishes don't come true."

"That you have daughter just like you?"

"She stopped wishing that years ago."

"What did she wish?"

"That I would have a daughter, just like her."

"Who is a good cook?" he jokes.

Jane rolls her eyes. She looks at the sweet baby girl, lying against her chest. She looks to Frost.

"Do you want to hold her?"

"I..."

She wraps the baby back up, and hands her to Frost. He carefully takes the baby from her. He holds her in his arms. He looks at her sweet face. She stares at him, with big, slate blue eyes, as if she knows him.

"Hi, little girl," he coos, "You look like your mama."

Jane watches him, as he holds her. Her feelings of doubt subside. The one good thing about her life was, that she didn't have control of her dreams, but she could control reality.

"I want to keep her," Jane tells him.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah," she nods.

"That was a quick decision."

"Not really."

"But I'm not surprised."

"You're not?"

"I've known that, since you thought she was a boy," he smiles, at the baby, in his arms.

"How? I didn't even know, until I saw her."

"I just did."

"Do you think that I'm going to break Maura's heart?"

"Maura is getting a boy. She'll be fine."

"What?"

"I am surprised that she never told you," he admits.

"Told me what?"

"She applied for adoption two years ago. She finally got the call. He'll be here in a couple of weeks. She's naming him Connor."

"But..."

"She was afraid that you were keeping this one. She didn't want to get too attached."

"But, what if I hadn't?"

"She was going to have two babies, instead of just one."

Jane grabs Frost's phone off, the tray table. "Smile," she tells him. She snaps a picture of them. She returns the phone, after sending the picture to herself.

"Frost, you know, you don't have to do this."

"Do what?" he raises an eyebrow.

"Be here."

"I am your partner."

"But..."

"Jane, I want to," he tells her.

"You're not obligated to."

"I know," he looks at the little girl in his arms, "What are you going to do, with a daughter? Girls are a lot more work, than boys."

"I hate pink," Jane comments.

"I'm going to have to help, with her wardrobe," he taunts.

"What does that mean?"

"I just hope she's a girly girl."

"Why? Why would you wish that on me?"

"You could use a little bit more pink, in your life."

"That is all of the pink that I need," Jane points to the baby.


	44. Whole Heart

When Maura sneaks into the hospital room, it's late. It's after dark, by the time she arrives. She finds a lamp on, that dimly lights the room. Frost sits in a chair, next to Jane, sleeping. Jane sleeps, in her bed, clinging to the baby on her chest. She tiptoes over to the bed. She carefully attempts to remove the baby from Jane's grasp. Jane's fingers curl around the baby, tighter. Maura tries to peel her fingers off the baby, and keep from waking her, at the same time.

"Don't," she whines.

"Jane."

Jane opens her eyes. "Nice of your to join us, miss tardy to the party."

"Can I see her?"

"That is what you wanted to tell me?"

"Yes," Maura nods, "Can I see her?"

"Ok," Jane lets go.

Maura sits down on the bed, next to her, with the baby in her arms.

"How am I going to do this? I don't have any clue to do, with a little girl."

"She looks like you."

"You're just saying that, to make this story more of a fairytale."

"No, she really does."

"How was your murder?"

"I would have rather have been here."

"You missed all of the excitement."

"She's precious. How big did she end up being?"

"Five eleven. She looks so fragile."

"What are your plans?"

Jane shrugs, "I don't know. Where do I even start? I don't have anything for a baby. I don't even have anywhere to put her."

"Let me take care of that, you just take care of her."

"I didn't know..." she begins.

Maura takes her eyes off the sleeping baby, and looks at Jane, "Know what?"

"That it would be like this."

"Like what?"

"That I would feel like this. I didn't know."

"Jane, what do you mean?"

"I didn't know that I could love her. In my dream, I couldn't do it, and I felt so guilty."

"Of course you can."

"I took one look at her, and..."

"It didn't matter?"

"It doesn't matter," Jane admits, becoming teary eyed, "If she had been a boy, the seed of the devil, or a purple dinosaur, it wouldn't matter. It doesn't matter. None of it matters, because I love her, with my whole heart."

"Don't cry."

"I'm just overwhelmed. I didn't realize, that I could feel that way, about anyone. When they put her on my chest, and I saw her first time..." she sniffles, "she was all covered in goo, and slime, but it didn't matter. None of it mattered. She just looked at me, and it was something that I have never felt before, in my life."

"So, what are you going to name her?"

"Maura."

"You are not going to name her Maura."

"I don't have any names picked out. I wasn't going to keep her, him. She was supposed to be a him."

"But, she's not."

"I am afraid, that I am going to screw her up, that I can't do this."

"I think that everyone feels that way."

"Maura?"

"Huh?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"About what?"

"Connor."

"I... it wasn't the right time."

"So what did you think was going to happen?"

"I don't know," Maura admits, returning the baby to her arms.

"She's got hair," Jane reveals, "Lots of it."

"I should be receiving all of the test results, tomorrow."

"All?"

"I sent them to several independent labs."

"What did your test conclude?"

"We can talk about it, tomorrow."

"It is tomorrow," Jane looks at the clock, on the wall, above the door.

"You're going to have to tell your mother," Maura points out.

"But, not today."

"Where are you going to put her?"

"In a drawer. She's small enough, she'll fit."

"Seriously?"

"In my dream, we put the baby in the breakfast nook."

"How?"

"We got rid of the table."

"Oh. My solution would be to get a bigger place."

"I just renewed my lease, last month."

"Oh, I see."

"I'll figure it out."

"No, I'll take care of it."

"You don't have to."

"It's the least that I can do."

"The least you can do? Maura you've already done so much."

"I didn't get to throw you a baby shower, so let me do this for you."

"I..."

"Please?"

"You're going to do whatever you want, no matter what I say."

When Jane wakes, the following morning, she finds Frost sitting in the chair, next to her bed, staring at the baby in his arms. She sleeps soundly, as he holds her. He looks at her, as if she's an award-winning piece of art.

"What are you doing?" Jane questions.

He doesn't look up, or make eye contact. He just continues to stare at the little girl. He smiles, and jokingly answers.

"I think _I'll_ just keep her."

"You can't have her, she's mine."

"I think I want her."

"You don't have all of the necessary equipment."

"You don't have anything either," her argues.

"Not what I meant."


	45. Stolen Heart

He watches her, as she carefully places the tiny baby into a car seat. The little girl wears a pink sleeper, that Maura bought her. Jane fastens the seatbelt, and then steps back. Jane pulls her hair back, and then looks at Maura.

"Are you ready?"

"I don't know, she's so small, and... she's only two days old. Are you sure that they don't want to keep her another day? Aren't they concerned she might have jaundice? She is a preemie, and..."

"Jane, you're going to be fine."

"Ok."

"Did you come up with a name?"

"I still have to fill out the birth certificate," Jane realizes.

"Yes. So are you going to take her home, without a name?"

"No," Jane shakes her head.

"So she has one?"

"Yes," Jane nods.

"What?"

"Jace Joella," Jane answers.

"Where did you come up with that?"

"I stole the book out of your purse."

"I..."

Jane cuts her off, "Maura, you never told me what your test results said."

"Oh, right."

"You were hoping that I would forget?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I can't explain the test results."

"Just tell me," Jane insists.

"According to all of the tests that I have received, Frost is her biological father."

"I knew it."

"You did? How?"

"Have you told him?"

"No."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it's impossible, isn't it? Or, did I miss you sleeping with Frost?"

"I didn't sleep with him," Jane responds.

"You're certain?"

"Maura, I would remember something like that."

"So..."

"Where is he?"

"At work."

"Oh."

Jane finds herself alone, in her apartment, a few hours later. She stands in front of the cradle, that is in place of the table, in her breakfast nook. She just watches her daughter, as she sleeps.

"Jane, can you open up?"

"Yeah," she answers.

She opens the door for Maura, who carries in bags of stuff. Jane just furrows her brow.

"What is all of this?"

"It's stuff for the baby," Frost answers, as he comes up the stairs, into the hallway.

"Where did you find him?"

"He was outside, when I got here," Maura reveals.

"She made me carry boxes."

"What are in the boxes?" Jane wonders.

"One, is diapers, the other is a swing."

"Oh."

"I am going to go get you something to eat," Maura heads for the door.

"Ok," Jane nods.

Frost closes the door behind Maura.

"Have a seat," Jane points to the couch.

"I don't know if I like where this is going," he responds, taking a seat on the couch. Jane takes a seat across from him, on the coffee table.

"What did you tell me, while I was unconscious?"

"Lots of things, why?"

"Did you tell me that you donated your sperm?"

He nearly chokes, "What?!"

"Is that a no?"

"You heard that?"

"You did?"

"I didn't think you could hear me. I figured since you couldn't, I would get that off my chest, and if you could, that you would wake up."

"So you did?"

"Yes."

"But you regretted it, and blah, blah, blah?"

"Right," he confirms.

"You should have it destroyed," she tells him.

"What if I get married, and then I get shot, and..."

"That's not going to happen."

"Jane..."

"And if it's does, you're bloodline will continue."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Jane gets up. She grabs two envelopes off the counter. She hands a manila envelope to Frost. He looks at her, and then to her.

"What's this?"

"DNA results."

"They came back, already?"

She nods, in confirmation.

"And?"

"She's not his," Jane reveals.

"That's great news," he notices the other envelope in her hand, "What's that one?"

"I got this one in the mail."

"From who?"

She hands it to him. He looks at the handwriting, on the front. He pulls the letter out, and begins to read.


	46. Heart Flutters

_Jane,_

_By now, you have a gift, that you cannot return. I am sure that you have mixed feelings about him, or her. Your brain is telling you one thing, and your gut is screaming something else. I know that I promised I was the one to leave you that parting gift, but I didn't. I wanted you to know, that I could, at any time. I thought that it would be better, more conflicting, if you knew that the sperm was from someone else. _

_He may not have been present at the time, but he was responsible. I thought that it should be someone close to you. Someone you trusted. Your partner. He, is responsible, for creating the life that you have just delivered. I knew that leaving you my child, would be too much, for even you to bear._

_It doesn't matter, who is genetically responsible, because I was the mastermind. Every time you look at your precious child, you will be reminded of me. And even though he, or she, will bear no resemblance to me, you will see my face, every time you look at him. _

_I am sure that you are wondering how all of this is possible. How I could have acquired his sperm. It was a mere coincidence, that turned into a brilliant plan. I once worked at a fertility clinic, as a janitor, after hours, under the table. Naturally, I was curious. I looked through each profile, picking out all of the flaws. When I met your partner, I knew I had seen his face somewhere else, before. The rest is history._

_You haven't heard the last of me,_

_Charles_

He drops the letter, and his eyes flit upwards, to his partner. He stares at her, with big eyes. He swallows hard.

"Jane this is just another one of his tricks, right?"

Jane reaches into the manila envelope, and hands one of the pages to Frost. He takes it from her. He reads the results.

"No," she answers, flatly.

"Are you sure?"

"Maura ran it herself."

"But, the original test was wrong. It was tampered with."

"She had it done at twelve other, independent labs."

"The results could have been compromised, too. James is a computer whiz."

"He was in solitary confinement at the time. He had absolutely no access."

"He could have swiped one of the guards phones, and..."

"The guards are not allowed to have phones on their person."

"Oh."

"Barry, just breathe."

"I can't."

"Listen to me, I don't expect anything from you. You didn't ask for this. You weren't even there, when it happened. I am ok with doing this on my own."

"Ok, or terrified?"

"Terrified, but, I'll be ok," she answers.

He doesn't say anything more to her. He gets off the couch, and walks away.

"I understand, if you want time to process this."

He ignores her. He continues to his destination. He stops when he reaches the cradle. He reaches in, and scoops up the sleeping baby. He looks at her. He studies her closely. She has the slightest bit of a yellow hue to her. Her facial features match Jane's for the most part. Same eyes, and nose. Same face shape. A strong jaw-line. Her hairline, is different, more like his. Her lips remind him of his own. He pulls off her crocheted cap. He runs his fingers through her now, non-matted hair. It's thick, and dark, like Jane's. It's not curly, but wavy, instead. It's coarser than what he imagines Jane's to be like.

He exhales. She opens her eyes, and looks at him. He expects her to cry. She furrows her brow, and threatens to do so. He shakes his head, and shushes her.

"Shh! No crying, little girl," he warns.

She stares up at him, with her eyes locked onto his face. He smiles at her, and puts the cap back on her head.

"What are you thinking, pretty girl? Huh? That all of this is crazy? I know, me too."

Jane joins them. She motions for the baby, after checking the time.

"I hate to interrupt, but it's time for her to eat."

"I have to get back to work, anyway. I just stopped by to check on you two."

"Maura will be back, soon."

He plants a kiss on the little girl's cheek. Then, he carefully places the baby into Jane's arms.

"I'll be back, later."

"You don't have to..."

"I know, I want to."

"Frost, you're my partner. This is going to be complicated. I don't know how this is going to work. It's already so difficult. I..."

"I understand. But, I'm her father."

"I am telling you that you don't have to be."

"I want to be."

"How are we going to make this work?"

"We'll figure it out. I promise. I don't know how, but we'll make it work. We have to, for her sake."

"Jace," Jane tells him.

"Jace? That is a boys name."

"I'm not changing it."

"I left you for a few hours, and you name her Jace? What is her middle name, Michael?"

"Joella," Jane reveals.

"I'll probably just call her Ella."

"Ella? Really?"

"I can't believe you gave her a boy's name."

"It's not."

"Yes, it is," he argues, "It's short for Jason."

"You have no say."

"Because I'm the father?"

"Because your name is not on the birth certificate."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

"You should get back to work."

"I'll be back," he warns her.

He leaves the apartment, and she makes her way to the couch, with a wide-eyed little girl. She studies the little girl, as they get situated. Somehow her thumb finds her way into her mouth.

"No, we're not going to have any of that. You can have a pacifier. I can throw that away. I can't get rid of your thumb."

Jace grunts in protest, when Jane removes the thumb from her mouth.


	47. Heart To Explain

She stares at the half naked baby who is drifting to sleep, as she eats. She runs her finger along the bottom of the baby's tiny pink foot. Her toes wiggle, and her eyes re-open. Jane takes a look at the clock, as little girl stops sucking.

"This is not how I imagined this going, you know."

Jace's eyes close. Jane moves the baby, and redresses herself. She places the sleep baby on her receiving blanket, on the couch, next to Jane. She carefully redresses the baby. She wraps her back up. She snuggles her close. Someone knocks at the door.

"Hold on," she rises from the couch. She walks to the cradle, and places the sleeping baby inside. She adjusts her own shirt, and moves towards the door.

She doesn't check the peephole, assuming that it's Maura, or Frost. She unchains the door. She pulls it open, and takes a step back. She stares at the face on the other side, in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" Jane asks, in surprise.

"What's is going on?" she replies, frenzied.

"I..."

"What happened to your head? I have been calling you for days. You haven't been at work. Frost told me that you were undercover, Maura told me that you were at a conference. I don't know what's going on, and I want some answers. Jane, I have given you time, and space, but I want to know what's going on."

"Ma," is the only response that she can come up with.

"Can I come in?"

Jane nods, and steps aside. Angela comes in. Jane closes the door. She turns, and looks at her mother. Angela takes a seat on the couch.

"We need to talk," Angela tells her.

"Ok," Jane nods, as if she's a child who is about to be chided by her mother.

Jane makes her way across the room. She stops at the coffee table. She lowers herself onto it, in order to face her mother.

"First things first, where have you been? Why haven't you been answering my calls? What happened to your head?"

"I was in the hospital."

"Hospital? Why didn't you call me?"

"I had a car accident."

"Why wouldn't you call?"

"I..."

"Did Maura know?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't she call me?"

"I asked her not to. I have a head injury, I can't really be held responsible for the things that I said."

"You didn't want me to smack you, for being reckless?"

"It wasn't my fault. A truck ran a red light, and t-boned me, in the intersection."

"Are you ok?"

"For the most part. A few stitches, a concussion, a fractured wrist, and a few bumps and bruises. For the most part, I'm ok."

"Ok, then let's move on."

"To what?"

"What has been going on with you, lately?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been hiding something."

"What makes you think that?"

"You've been distant. You have been avoiding me. I call, and you don't answer. I ask you something, and you shrug me off. It's like there is something that you don't want me to know, and you just won't tell me to butt out."

"Have you met yourself? Ma, there is no telling you to butt out. Here, you are, interrogating me."

"You don't want me to know?"

"Know what?"

Jane wears a blue camisole, under a loose fitting slate grey v-neck t-shirt. Angela stares at her cleavage.

"How far along are you?"

"What?"

"You lied, before, didn't you? You were pregnant? How far along are you?"

"I'm not pregnant," Jane argues.

"So you don't want me to know? Are you ever planning on telling me? Are you just going to pretend that nothing is going on?"

"I..." Jane squirms, feeling incredibly guilty, unable to answer, or even look Angela in the eye.

"It's like you've just shut down. Why?"

"I can't. I think that you should go," Jane frowns.

"Jane, just tell me. How far along are you?"

"I'm not. I am not pregnant."

"Then, you had breast implants?"

"No."

"Jane, what is going on with you? There is nothing in this world bad enough, that you can't tell me."

Jane's eyes begin to well with tears, "I can't, I can't do this," she shakes her head.

"Jane come on," Angela begs.

Jane covers her face, with both hands. The tears fall, against her will.

"Jane," Angela reaches for her hand, "look at me."

"I can't," Jane tells her.

"Why not? Why can't you look at me?"

"I can't look at you, and lie."

"So you are pregnant?"

Jane looks at her mother, through tears. She shakes her head.

"No. I'm not."

"Then, please explain to me what's going on. You've been pushing me away, why?"

"There are some things, that I can't tell you."

"Jane, I am your mother. There is nothing in this world that you can't tell me."

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"Don't worry about me."

"You don't understand. I couldn't put you through hell. I didn't want to break your heart."

"Jane, come on, you can tell me."

"I wouldn't even know where to start."

"At the beginning," Angela suggests.

Jane takes a deep breath, and exhales, "Ok," she agrees.


	48. Heart Broken

"I am not pregnant, anymore," Jane begins, feeling pangs of guilt, and pain, as she looks at her mother's face.

Angela's breath hitches, "Oh," all color drains from her face.

"A few months ago, I found out that I was pregnant."

"I see," she answers, numbly.

"It was a surprise. I wasn't expecting it."

"Of course not."

"The details don't really matter, I just couldn't stomach the idea of keeping the baby," Jane admits. She looks at her mother, and sees her heart breaking. She sees the respect disappearing.

"Tell me anyway," Angela responds, quietly.

"I don't think that you want to know."

"Yes, I do. Tell me."

"I found out that, by some very sick, and twisted plot, I was expecting a baby, by..." she trails off. She begins to break down.

"By who?"

"Hoyt," Jane whispers.

"Hoyt? As in Charles Hoyt?"

Jane purses her lips, and stiffens her jaw, as the tears flow, "Yes."

"I thought that he was dead."

"He is."

"So how is that possible?"

"Apparently, he had a final apprentice."

"I don't understand."

"The apprentice had some medical knowledge, enough to know how to give someone an injection."

"Of what?"

"Propofol. It is a drug used to anesthetize someone."

"Ok."

"He snuck into my apartment, after some elaborate planning, and injected it with me. He then proceeded to inseminate me with Hoyt's..." her mouth goes dry, and she can't finish.

"No," Angela shakes her head, in disbelief.

"I couldn't bear the thought of keeping the baby. His son, his demon spawn?"

"You were far enough along to know that it was a boy? Oh, Jane, I don't think that I want to hear the rest."

"Yes, you do."

"Jane, we," Angela corrects herself, "_I_ don't believe in that."

"No. I didn't have an abortion. I my have considered it, had I found out sooner, but I was too far along to have one."

"I thought so. You were starting to show."

"I know. I tried to hide it."

"Jane, I'm your mother, you can't hide something like that, from me. You said that you were pregnant, what happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said that you're not, anymore."

"No, I'm not."

"The accident?"

"I decided that I didn't want to keep the baby. I asked Maura if she would consider taking him."

"What happened?"

"Like I said, I'm not pregnant, anymore."

"Jane just tell me what happened."

"I had the baby."

"Oh. He was too early, right? He didn't make it?"

"He wasn't too early. I was close to thirty five weeks," Jane reveals.

"What?!"

"I didn't find out until I was in the beginning of my third trimester."

"So is he ok?"

"She is fine."

"She? I thought that you said you were having a boy."

"I was supposed to. Apparently the technician was inexperienced. She was wrong. It was a girl."

"I see."

"I didn't want to tell you any of this, because I didn't want to break your heart. I didn't want to know anything about it. I knew that you would never understand. I knew that you would hate me, for giving your grandchild up for adoption."

Angela fights the urge to cry. She hugs Jane, "I would never hate you. I wouldn't expect you to keep the baby, or a man who tortured you the way that he did."

"Ma, there's more," Jane tells her.

Angela lets go.

"What else could there be?"

"You think that you know what you want, and that you can just make that decision, and stick with it."

"Having a child is not easy. Choosing to give that child up for adoption, that isn't easy either. When you see your child for the first time, you are so flooded with emotion, that... everything changes."

Jane nods, "And things that you think matter, don't."

"Right," Angela nods.

"It doesn't matter. Where the baby came from, or who it's father is," the tears flow freely, as Jane continues, "Because, you realize that no matter what, it's your child."

"I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this. I just wish that you had told me."

"I was just so ashamed."

"Of what?"

"Everything. All of it. Being weak. Choosing adoption. Not telling you. Not knowing. Not wanting my own child."

"Jane, you shouldn't be ashamed. You did something noble."

"No, I didn't. Some plans are bigger than our own."

"Yes," Angela nods, "How did you find all of this out?"

"He sent letters from the grave, via his courier."

"His apprentice?"

"Yes. The amniocentesis results confirmed."

"So she was really his?"

"The apprentice was a computer genius."

"What do you mean? What are you telling me?"

"She isn't his."

And, that is when Angela's heart sinks, again.


	49. Heart Melts

"The apprentice sent Maura another letter. The DNA test after her birth confirmed, that Hoyt was not her father."

"Oh."

"Which is great," Jane begins the ugly cry.

Angela wraps her arms around Jane, and hugs her closely. She pushes the hair away from her face.

"Shh! It's ok."

Jane pushes her away. She wipes the tears from her face. She takes a deep breath.

"I am sorry, I am such a wreck. I just can't control it."

"I know."

"There are a lot of things that I can't control."

"That is true," Angela agrees.

"Like the way that I felt about her, the second I laid eyes on her. And, how I didn't care who her father was. None of it mattered, because she was mine. I didn't know that I could love someone that much, ever."

"You want what's best for her, that's understandable," Angela tries to sympathize, while her heart is breaking.

"But, I couldn't do it."

"Do what?"

"Give her to someone else. Even Maura. I know Maura would do a great job, but I couldn't."

"Wait, you didn't..."

Jane shakes her head, "No. I kept her."

"You did?"

"I haven't told you everything, yet."

"What else could their be?" Angela's frown turns into a smile.

"By some unusual twist of fate, my partner once donated his sperm."

"Why is that significant?" Angela wonders.

"Because somehow, Hoyt found out."

"And?"

"Frost is..."

"Frost is her father? Does he know?" Angela concludes.

"Yes."

"Wow. That is..."

"A lot, I know."

"So is she doing ok?"

"She's fine," Jane confirms.

"When will she be coming home? When can I meet her? What's her name? How big was she? Who does she look like?" Angela can't contain her joy, and excitement.

"One question at a time."

"What is her name? Have you picked one out, yet?"

"Her name is Jace Joella."

"Jace? Isn't that a boy's name?"

"Next question please," Jane insists.

"How big was she?"

"Five pounds, eleven ounces. Nineteen inches."

"Does she have hair?"

"Lots of it."

"Who does she look like?"

"Me."

"When will she be coming home? When can I meet her?"

"Hours ago."

"Hours ago? You're pulling my leg, right?"

"No," Jane smiles widely.

"What do you mean, no?"

"Would you like to meet your granddaughter?"

"Of course, when?"

"Right now?"

"How?"

Jane stands up. She moves towards the hallway.

"Where are you going? Do you have a live feed, or something?" Angela inquires, in confusion.

Jane stops. Angela notices the cradle. Jane lifts the bundle out. She returns to the living room. She stops, in front of her mother. Angela claps her hand, over her mouth.

"She's already home?"

"They only kept her two nights. She's small, but her lungs are fine. She gained three ounces while she was there. They let her come home, with me."

"Let me see her," Angela reaches for the baby.

Jane places the baby in her arms. "Here is your granddaughter."

"She's so tiny."

"I know."

Angela stares at the tiny little girl, "Are you sure that Frost is her father? She is awfully..."

"Twelve different labs confirmed. Maura didn't tell me, until all of the results came back."

"But..."

"She'll get darker."

"She's perfect."

"So you're not mad?"

"I was, but then you put this perfect little girl in my arms, and now I'm over it."

"Good."

Angela stares at the little girl in her arms. She kisses her cheeks. Jace opens her eyes, and looks at Angela.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your beauty rest. It's nice to meet you, pretty girl. I'm your grandma. I know, it's hard to believe, but I am. We are going to have so much fun together. Yes, we are. And, I am going to spoil you, rotten."

"Ma?"

"Huh?" Angela looks up. Jane snaps a picture, with her phone, she sends it to Frost. Along with a text message that reads, _Finally told her._

"I am going to need your help."

"Of course you are. I'm happy to help. How did Frost take it?"

"Better than I expected."

"Work is going to awkward."

"He wants to be involved."

"He does?"

"I don't understand it, myself."

Angela smiles at the sweet baby girl, in her arms, "I do."


	50. Heart Away From Home

Jane's phone rings. She pulls it to her ear, not wanting to wake the sleeping baby, in her arms.

"Hey, I'm sorry that I didn't make it back," Maura apologizes.

"Where did you go to get food?"

"I got called into work."

"Tell them that you can't."

"Jane, your lieutenant is going to be calling."

"Why? What's going on?"

"Two days, and twelve victims."

"I can't."

"Tell him that. I've got to get back to work."

"Ok," Jane hangs up.

Her phone rings, before she can return it to its resting place on the coffee table. She groans, and answers it.

"Rizzoli," she sighs.

"Rizzoli, I need you in here."

"Lieutenant, I can't."

"Look, I know that you just had a car accident, but I need you to get in here. I really need you."

"Frost didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"I just had a baby. Two days ago. I can't come to work. I don't have anyone to watch her."

"I didn't know that you were keeping it."

"I wasn't. I changed my mind. I'll update you, later."

"Jane, I really need you."

"I can't leave her. You have to find someone else."

"Jane, everyone is already working on this one. I need you. I need all hands on deck."

"How am I supposed to leave her?"

"Bring her with you."

"But..."

"Your mother is already here. I called her in about half an hour ago, to make sure that everyone has refreshments."

"I can't."

"Jane, solve this case, and you can have whatever you want. You can have the next twelve weeks off with her."

"Until the next serial killer psychopath."

"I promise. And I'll even throw in a new squad car."

"A new one? What's wrong with the old one?"

"Totaled. There is no repairing it. You two had a good run. You've had the car longer than you've had your partner, so, you're due for a new one."

"Car, or a partner?"

"Car. Do you want a new partner?"

"No, I like mine, just fine."

"Rizzoli I need you."

"You've got to give me some time. I have to pack stuff up, for her. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Ok," he agrees.

She bundles the baby up, and places her in the cradle. She grabs the diaper bag, off the kitchen counter. She opens it, and finds that Maura has already packed it. She finds the car seat, in her closet. She pulls out the pink infant seat. She collects everything on the couch. She moves the baby from the cradle to the swing. She puts it in the bathroom door, as she turns on the shower.

She takes a quick shower, and pulls her wet hair into a ponytail. In her towel, she lifts the baby out of her swing. She pushes the swing aside, with her foot. She moves into the closet. She pulls on underwear, and pants. She grabs a bra, t-shirt, and jacket. She places the baby on the bed, to finish getting dressed.

As she starts to put the bra on, she catches a glimpse of the clock. She looks at the little girl, who is beginning to root around. She rubs her temples, in frustration, wanting to get out the door, quickly. Instead of getting dressed, collecting everything, and rushing out the door, she takes a seat on the bed. She scoops the baby up, and unwraps her. She watches the baby, as she latches on. She smiles.

"And they thought that you might have trouble with all of this. Clearly, you're a Rizzoli. You have no trouble eating, at anytime. And, if you don't eat something every couple of hours, then you get cranky. There is no doubt that you're my daughter. You're definitely a Rizzoli. Oh... Or maybe not. Are you going to be a Rizzoli? I guess that I should consult Frost on that. Shouldn't I?" Jace is so focused on eating, that she completely ignores Jane.

Nearly an hour, one feeding, and a diaper change, later, Jane finally makes it out the door. She very carefully carries a diaper bag, and pack-n-play, on one shoulder. With the non-fractured wrist, she carries the car seat, with Jace sleeping inside. Jane grips her car keys, fingers attached to her fractured wrist. She uses her but, to push the door of the building open.

She slowly, and carefully descends the stairs of her building. She pops the trunk, and places the diaper bag, and pack-n-play inside. She slams the trunk. The baby doesn't startle. She unlocks the car. And, that is the instant that she remembers why she always drives the squad car, and not her personal vehicle. Two doors, not four. She flips the seat down. She sighs in relief, when she finds a car seat base sitting in the middle of the backseat. Maura, was always thinking ahead.

Jane locks the car seat into place, and then moves the seat back. She walks around the front of the car, and climbs in. She starts the car, and looks back, in the backseat.

"Jace, don't tell the doctor. I don't think that I'm supposed to be driving, yet."

Jace sleeps soundly, in the backseat. Jane triple checks the mirrors, as she pulls onto the street. She drives, the speed limit, to the precinct. She parks in the no-parking zone. She begins to unload the car. She gets the playpen, and diaper bag out. She opens the passenger's door, to get the baby out.

"Why did I ever by a Solara? What was I thinking? Oh," she looks at the sleeping baby, "I remember. That was when there were no kids going to be involved."

Jace opens her eyes, and looks at Jane. Jane locks the car, and slowly makes her way into the precinct.

"Don't take offense to it," she tells the baby, as she opens the door.

She steps inside, and heads for security. The security guy gives her a questioning look.

"I hope you know who I am, because I have no freaking clue where my badge is."

The security guard flashes a badge. He clips it to her diaper bag.

"Dr. Isles told me to give it to you. She also told me to tell you to take the baby, and put her in Dr. Isles office."

"Thank you."

He waves her through. She feels as if she's ready to have a breakdown, by the time she reaches the elevator.


	51. Walls Around Her Heart

The doors to the basement open, and she finds Frost waiting on her. He slips the playpen, and diaper bag from her shoulder. She follows him into Maura's office. Frost sets up the play pen.

"How is Maura going to be able to watch her, from autopsy?"

"Don't worry, I've got it covered. Live digital feed, and I put a baby monitor, right there. She can see, and hear the baby at all times."

"And me?"

"You can get the live feed at your desk," he reveals.

She unfastens the baby, from the car seat.

He smiles widely, "Hi sleepy girl."

She places the baby in the playpen. Maura comes into the room, wearing scrubs. Jane shakes her head.

"Nope. This isn't going to work."

"They're clean. I just changed them. I did a surgical scrub, on my hands. You don't have to worry," Maura knows exactly what Jane is thinking.

"Ok," Jane nods.

"We'll be fine. Go upstairs, they need you."

"I..."

"It'll be ok," Frost promises her.

He drags Jane to the elevator, after several failed attempts. He rides the elevator with her, to the squad room. The doors open, and he starts to get off. She remains stationary.

"Come on," he grabs her non-fractured wrist.

"I don't want to," she whines.

"We need you."

She tilts her head, and frowns, in dissatisfaction. She follows him into the squad room. Korsak looks up from his desk, which Frankie is standing next to. Vince elbows him.

"What?"

Vince points.

"You look like hell," Frankie comments.

"You're such a nice brother. You really know how to welcome someone into the room."

"You look like you've been hit by a truck," Korsak comments.

Jane turns, and gives her partner, who is sitting at his desk, a dirty look. "Did you tell him?" Jane asks Frost, in disgust.

"No. I didn't tell either of them anything."

"What are the two of you talking about?" Vince inquires.

"I _was_ hit by a truck."

"You were run over? That explains the stitches, across the center of your forehead," Frankie comments.

"No. I was not run over by a truck. I was hit by a truck, in an intersection. The car flipped, and I hit my head on the steering wheel," she recounts.

"Are you ok?" Vince queries.

"Except for the concussion, I'm ok," she answers.

"You look like you're in pain," Korsak observes.

"I'm fine," she lies, not wanting to share the fact that she is in immense pain, from the process of uterine involution, that causes intense cramps.

"Then let's get started," Barry suggests.

They're still working into the wee hours of the morning. Korsak places a cup of coffee, as she drools on her keyboard. The alarm on her phone goes of, and she jerks back into reality. She sits up, and looks around the room. She grabs the cup of coffee, after turning her alarm off, and heads for the elevator. The doors are nearly closed, when Korsak jumps on, at the last minute. The doors close behind him.

"Where are you going?"

Jane points to the light elevator button, "The basement."

"Why?"

"To see if Maura has anything."

"Maura will text you, or call you, if she does."

"Maybe she fell asleep."

"Why did you set your alarm, to come talk to Maura?"

"I didn't. Korsak, please, just leave it alone."

"Jane, the past few months, whatever has been going on with you, you've left me in the dark."

"I am sorry if I hurt your feelings," she admits.

"But?"

"But I was going through some personal stuff, that I didn't want to share."

"You shared with Maura, and Frost."

"Not really by choice. They just kind of found out."

"Why didn't you tell me? You have known me longer than either one of them."

"Exactly."

"Exactly? What is that supposed to mean."

"You have seen me at my worst, and I didn't think that you needed to see me there, again."

"Jane, what happened?"

The elevator doors open. She steps off. He follows her. She's too tired to care. Her feet hurts, her back aches, her now empty uterus cramps. He follows her into Maura's office. The room is illuminated by only a lamp. Maura sleeps, on the couch, under the window, with her back facing the desk.

Korsak follows her into Maura's office. He watches in silence, from the doorway, as Jane goes over to the pack-n-play. She glances inside, and sees that it's empty.

"Maura?"

"I'm not sleeping," she lies.

"Maura? Did you lose something?"

"No," she replies, sheepishly, with her eyes closed, "she's right here."

Jane walks over to the couch. She finds Jace between Maura, and the back of the couch. Maura delicately removes the baby, and rolls off her side. She sits up, with the baby.

"Here you..." she trails off, when she sees Korsak in the doorway.

"Ignore him, I am," Jane suggests.

"She doesn't like sleeping in there," Maura reveals.

Jane takes the sleepy baby from her. Korsak clears his throat.

"Do you want to explain this to me?"

"Nope," Jane retorts. She moves over to Maura's chair, and spins it around.

Korsak looks at Maura, who is barely keeping her eyes open, for guidance.

"What is she doing?"

"I believe that she is feeding the baby," Maura reveals.

"I am, Korsak, we can talk later," Jane waves, her free hand.

"Feeding the baby, with what?" His eyes widen.

"The same thing women have been using for centuries. Vince, why don't you and I go to the lab, and we'll have a chat," Maura suggests.

"I want to talk to Jane."

"She's busy right now, but I will gladly explain the situation to you."


	52. No Heart Questions

He looks towards Maura's office, as the words fall from her lips. He shakes his head, in disbelief, waiting for the punch line.

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"She didn't tell her own mother," Maura reveals.

Across the hallway, Jane fights sleep, as she holds her little girl. Her eyes grow heavy, as she listens to the rhythmic sucking, of a newborn. A pair of slate blue eyes stare up at her.

"Hi, baby girl."

Vince looks at Maura, in disbelief. Maura smiles, waiting for a response.

"Did you hear me?" Maura questions.

"Yeah, it's not that sick, dead, bastards. It doesn't mean that he didn't put her through hell."

"He did."

"And she may still be there."

"She's in a much better place, right now. She's exhausted, but..."

"I should get back upstairs," he realizes.

Maura returns to her office. After about half an hour Jane gets ready to leave. Instead of placing the baby in her pack-and-play Jane places her, in her car seat. Maura furrows her brow, in confusion, from the other side of the glass. She quickly peels her gloves off, and opens the door between them.

"What are you doing?"

Jane tosses the diaper bag over her shoulder. "I am taking her with me."

"Where are you going? You can't leave, we're in the middle of an investigation."

"I am just going back upstairs."

"With her? Jane I can keep an eye on her."

"But I don't want you to."

"You don't trust me?"

"It's not that. I would just be more comfortable if I had her with me."

"Meaning, even though I am a doctor..."

"I don't need a guilt trip, right now."

"Ok," Maura relents.

Jane tucks a pink blanket around the sleeping baby. She shakes her head.

"What?"

"Why did you have to buy so much pink? You know that I hate pink."

"You are going to have to get used to it," Maura insists, "She loves it."

Jane rolls her eyes, and grabs the car seat. She heads for the elevator. She and, her sleeping baby take a short elevator ride, to the squad room. The doors open, and she tries not to attract any attention, as she walks into the room.

All eyes are on her, as she enters the room, carrying a diaper bag, and car seat. She places the car seat on her desk. He co-workers stare at her. Jane unfastens the safety harness, and carefully removes the baby, from the car seat. She wraps her in the blanket, and moves towards her seat. Frankie stares at her, dumbfounded. Korsak approaches, with a wide smile on his face. He stops in front of her.

"May I?"

"Ok, but be careful, and hold her head," Jane warns.

Vince smiles, as Jane slides the precious little girl into his arms.

"Hello, pretty girl. It's nice to meet you," he coos.

Frankie rises, and moves towards his sister. He furrows his brow, in confusion. He looks at the baby in Korsak's arms, and then looks to his sister.

"You found a baby, on the street corner, and decided to bring it in?" Frankie guesses.

"No," she shakes her head, lowering herself into her chair.

"So..."

"Ok," she stands up, from her seat. "Listen up, because I am only going to explain once. Anything unanswered is not anyone else's business, so no further questions need to be asked."

"What are you talking about?" Frankie queries.

"Her name is Jace. She's mine, I'm keeping her. End of story."

"With who?" her brother throws out.

"I said no more questions," she replies.

"She used a donor," Frost reveals, staring at his computer screen.

"Why didn't you tell any of us?" Frankie continues, with the questions.

"What part of no questions, don't you understand?" Jane arches her brow.

"Come on," Frankie insists.

"I wanted to share, but it was incredibly high risk, so I chose to wait, to tell everyone."

Frost interjects, "Of course we all know that Jane, is a procrastinator, and she ran out of time to tell everyone, because Jace decided to come into the world a little early, thanks to the collision that murdered Jane's unmarked car."

"So, who's the donor?" he eyes the baby.

"You want her? She's your niece," Korsak offers.

"No, I'll pass. I'll bond with her, when she's old enough to not break, if I drop her."

Jane looks at Frost, for some guidance.

"Was it an anonymous donor?" Frankie grills.

"No, it was..." she begins.

"Me," Frost reveals.

Frankie smiles, "Yeah right. Who was it really?"

"It was Frost," Jane admits.

"You used your partner, as your donor? Isn't that kind of awkward?" Frankie responds.

"I just couldn't get the words of that deranged psychopath out of my head," Jane admits.

"The one from the fertility clinic," Frost adds.

Jane continues, "When she said that we would make beautiful babies," Jane finishes.

"You never wanted kids, what made you change your mind?" Frankie wonders.

"Ok, Q and A is over," a new voice joins the conversation.

Jane looks up, and sees her boss, coming into the room. She swallows hard. He stops next to Korsak.

"Let me see her," he holds out his hands.

Korsak passes the sleeping baby, to him. Cavanaugh studies the baby. He smiles.

"Another, Rizzoli, I see. Well, little girl, I am sure that if you're anything like you're mom, you'll make detective, and, way before you uncle does," he jokes.

"Thanks," Frankie shakes his head.

"Jane, she's gorgeous, congratulations," he passes the baby back to her. "She seems like she's pretty laid back. I am sure that she won't interrupt anyone's work."

Jane holds the sleeping baby, closely. She smiles, "No, sir."

"Ok, then, get back to work, all of you," Cavanaugh instructs.

He leaves the room. Korsak moseys back to his desk. Frost returns to his computer screen. Frankie sits down, in his assigned seat. Jane thumbs through the case file, with one hand. In the other arm, she holds a sleeping baby, as she sits at her desk.


	53. Heart's Game

She's halfway asleep at her desk, when she hears footsteps behind her. She sits up, straight, and tries to focus on her work. Her eyes are too tired to focus. Her head throbs, and her uterus screams, reminding her that she's just had a baby.

"Korsak, Rizzoli, time to hit the cribs for a while," Cavanaugh tells them, "Take a couple of hours, get some rest. Frankie, you a Frost keep working. In a couple of hours, I'll wake them up, and it'll be your turn."

"Ok," they nod, too tired argue.

Frost shakes his head, as Jane rises, reaching for the sleeping baby, who rests in her car seat, on her mother's desk.

"I got her."

"But," Jane tries to argue.

"You just fed her. I can handle it."

"I..."

"Jane, I'm not going to argue, just give her to me."

She nods. He scoots the infant seat onto his desk. Jane reluctantly follows Korsak out of the room. The instant that Jane is out of the room, Frost unfastens the baby's safety harness. He scoops her out. He stares at her, as she sleeps.

"Hello, beautiful girl. Listen, don't tell your mom, but I'm not going to call you Jace. When it's just the two of us, I'm going to call you Jacey, because you are a girl." He kisses the baby's forehead, and then returns to his work.

24 hours, after being called in to work, they have finally wrapped the case. Frost takes the baby, along with her diaper bag, to his car. Jane heads into the basement to grab the pack-and-play. She finds Maura, asleep at her desk, when she enters the room. She folds the playpen up, and returns it to it's carrying case. She walks around Maura's desk. She gently nudges her. She whispers, to her.

"Hey, Maura, time to go home."

Maura lifts her head. She looks at Jane, blinking.

"Where's the baby?"

"Frost went to put her in the car."

"I think I'm just going to stay, here, on the couch. I'm too tired, to drive."

"You can ride with me."

"You have a brain injury, you are not driving me. You shouldn't drive at all. You definitely shouldn't be driving a newborn around."

"Maura, you sound like Frost. For your information, Barry is driving me home."

"Good."

"Maura, are you ok?"

"Just tired."

"You can stay with me, and get up with the baby."

"How? You're breastfeeding."

"Come on, I could use an extra pair of ears."

"Jane, Frost isn't going to leave you alone. She's his daughter too."

"I know. He doesn't trust that I can take care of her, with a head injury."

"Let him."

"Please, you're her auntie."

"Fine," Maura groans.

When Maura wakes up, she finds that she is alone, in Jane's bed. She stays in bed, and listens to the noises around her. In the living room, the door closes.

Frost enter, and hands Jane the mail. She shakes her head. He scowls. He insists on the trade, taking the baby, from her arms. She sorts through the mail. Bills, and junk mail, mostly. She finds one, from Massachusetts Correctional.

She takes a deep breath, and opens it. Inside, she finds another envelope. Between the first envelope, and the second, is a scrap of paper. It reads, _Jane, this isn't the last letter, sorry. -James._ She shakes her head, and pulls out the second envelope. Frost sits next to her, holding their baby. He watches Jane closely.

"Are you ok?" he asks.

"We'll see," she answers.

She rips open the second envelope. Familiar handwriting scrawled across the front of the envelope, is simple, with just her name. She reaches inside, and pulls out the paper. She takes another deep breath, and begins to read.

_Jane,_

_It's your job to serve, and protect. What happens, when you fail one of your own. Right now, you're probably enjoying your precious new bundle of joy, courtesy, of someone else. You are relieved that it isn't mine. I am sure that you are wondering, what else could there possibly be? It isn't my child._

_At least, your child, is not mine. The plans I have for our Dr. Isles, however, they are much different. There isn't anything you can do, now. It's too late. The deed is already done. You couldn't protect her, either. Maybe you should find a new line of work. You can't protect yourself, or your best friend, from harm's way. How are you supposed to protect your child?_

_Am I inside your head yet? Tell the good doctor, that my gift for her, has already be implanted. There is no game this time. She'll just have to watch it grow. I hope it's a boy. Then, she can be reminded of me. This time, there is no fairy tale ending. _

_There is just life._

_Hoyt_

She shudders at the thought. She looks up, and finds Maura coming into the room. She stuffs the letter between the arm of the couch, and the cushion. Maura notices. Jane scoots over, to prevent Maura from being able to retrieve it.

"What was that?" Maura asks.

"It was the hospital bill," Jane lies.

"The hospital isn't that speedy. And you wouldn't hide that from me. What is it? Let me see?"

"Maura, you don't to see," Jane insists.

"Frost make her give it to me," Maura begs.

"I don't know what's in it," he reveals.

"Jane, come on. How bad could it be?"

Jane shakes her head, "Maura, it's for your own good. You don't need to read it."

"Please."

Against her better judgment Jane forks over the letter. Maura reads it, silently. Part way through, her hand claps over her mouth, in horror, and disbelief. By the end the tears are falling from her eyes. She drops the letter, and runs out of the room. Jane follows after her. Maura slams the bathroom door in her face.

"You can't hide in there, forever," Jane warns.

"Would forever be long enough?"

"Maura, it's not possible."

"Neither is the little girl in Frost's arms, in your living room," Maura reminds her.

"Just let me in," Jane implores.

Maura unlocks the door. Jane steps into the bathroom. She closes the door behind her. She doesn't hug Maura, as Maura expects. Instead, she slowly squats down. She reaches into the cabinet, under the sink. She pulls out a box, and hands it to Maura.

"Take it, so you can know, that it's not possible."

"Why do you have this?"

"I kept it, just in case."

Maura stares at the pregnancy test box. She wipes her tears, away. She looks at Jane.

"You're right, this is probably impossible. I should prove that, right now, and not have it hanging over my head."


	54. Heart's Test

"Just when we think that it's over, he sucks us back in," Maura comments, as they wait, on a timer.

Jane leans against the counter, "It's not fair."

"No, it's not. He wages war with emotional pain, and inflicts invisible wounds."

"Some physical ones, too," Jane reminds Maura, holding up her hands.

"How are you feeling?"

"My hands are fine."

"That's not what I meant."

Jane turns, and briefly looks in the mirror. She looks like hell. She's pale, with stitches running across her forehead, and dark circles under her eyes, and bruises on her face, and other areas of her body.

"I'm ok," she answers.

"Are you sure?"

"I can deal with the physical pain. It doesn't bother me."

"Do you..."

"Wonder, if he's still playing games with me? Yeah, sometimes. I mean, she really doesn't look anything like Frost."

"He's the father of your child, I think you can call him Barry."

"Alleged," Jane points out.

"She's got his lips."

"You're just saying that, because you can't believe that a piece of scum who is behind bars, could hack into that many databases, and screw with the results."

"The one from Alaska isn't back yet."

"Huh?"

"I sent one to Alaska, as a safeguard. There are no computerized results. They do everything by hand. The results are printed on a typewriter."

"Why?"

"They don't have the money in that community, for a lot of technology."

"I see."

"Is it time, yet?"

"No," Jane lies.

"Yes it is. Let me see?"

"Hold on," Jane tells her.

Jane turns, and peeks at the counter. She then turns to Maura.

"It's not done yet."

"Just give it to me," Maura begs.

Jane shakes her head.

"Come on."

"Not yet," Jane responds.

"It has been long enough."

"There is something I want to say."

"Ok," Maura nods.

"Isn't it funny, how this stupid plastic stick, can determine the course of your life? All the things that you think you know. The ones that you are certain of, they change."

"Just let me see it."

"No."

"Did you read it already?"

"No."

"Jane," Maura huffs.

"It isn't fair, that we have had to face the path of destruction, that this monster has put in front of us. He's changed our lives, and sometimes, I wish that I had never crossed his path."

"But?"

"There is no but."

"Then, I don't think I want to hear this."

"I hate all of this."

"I know."

"No matter what happens, today, or tomorrow, or what happened yesterday, I've always got your back. You're my best friend. And, I'm glad that you've been here for me."

"Aww..." Maura moves in for a hug.

"Don't get sappy on me," Jane warns.

Maura relents, "Ok."

"I couldn't have done this, without you."

"You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"You know, it really doesn't matter..."

"That you're strong?"

"Who, it is. I thought that it did, but it doesn't. I love that little girl. I love her more, than I could have ever imagined."

"Now, I want to say something," Maura interjects.

"Ok."

"You should talk to Frost."

"What do you mean?"

"Let him in."

"He's seen me at my worst. He has seen more of me, than I want him to. Hell, he cut Jace's umbilical cord."

"That isn't what I meant. Jane, I don't know why you don't want to see it."

"See what?"

"He loves you."

"Like a sister. It's not like that, between us."

"He loves you, unconditionally. On your worst day, and on your best, he loves you. I know that you don't want to hear it, but the two of you, are a good match. He is a good man."

"Maura, I know where this is going, and I don't like it. I don't need a man in my life, just because I have a child. He's would be there for her, even if she wasn't his..."

Maura cuts her off, "Yeah, because she's yours."

"I am not ready for any relationship, right now."

"I'm not telling you to be."

"That is what you just said," Jane growls.

"I am just asking you, to keep your heart open."

"That's not very scientific."

"It wasn't scientific advice, now will you please give me the test?" Maura begs.

Without looking, Jane grabs the test that is wrapped in a tissue. She holds the stick out to Maura, waiting for her to take it. She pauses, and looks at Jane.

"Deep breath," Jane muses, hoping for the best.


	55. Heart's Best Intentions

Maura doesn't say anything. The test tumbles from her hand. Her hand claps over her mouth. The tears start falling, before she can attempt to resist.

"Maura?" Jane looks at her.

"I'm going to go," she answers, bolting from the room.

Jane reaches down, and picks up the test. The brightly colored plus signs stares up at her. She tosses the test in the trash can, and follows after her. Maura is to the door, by the time Jane exits the bathroom.

"Don't go," Jane warns.

"I just want to be alone," Maura runs out of the apartment.

Jane considers going after her, but the cries coming from Frost's arms prevent her from leaving. She turns, and finds Barry holding the baby, on his shoulder, patting her. With each pat she screams louder.

"Give her to me," Jane insists.

"Are you sure that you don't want to go after her?"

"I do, but she needs me," Jane answers, guiltily.

"I can watch her, go."

"She's hungry, I can't leave her."

He sighs, in defeat. He holds the baby out, to her.

* * *

Maura storms into her house, with a tear stained face. She slams the door behind her. She kicks off her shoes. She looks up, and finds Angela standing in the kitchen, startled.

"Are you ok?" she questions.

"No."

"You want to talk about it?"

"No," Maura answers, as she makes a beeline for her room. She reaches the bedroom, and slams the door behind her. She takes a seat, on the floor, in front of the door.

Angela knocks on the door, "Open up," not a question, or a request, but a demand.

Maura moves away from the door. She crawls over to her bed. She leans against it. She stifles a sob, and tries to catch her breath.

"It's not locked," she whispers, between sobs.

Angela pushes the door open. She finds Maura sitting on the floor, leaning up against the end of her bed.

"What's going on?"

"I told you, I don't want to talk about it."

"Maura," Angela walks across the room, to the bed. She slowly lowers herself to the floor, next to Maura. "Talk to me."

"I can't talk to you. I can't talk to anyone. I don't want to talk to anyone."

"Maura, what's wrong?"

"Everything."

"Is this about baby envy? I thought that you were going to..."

Maura cuts her off, "The mother backed out."

"Were you really planning on adopting a baby, that wasn't Jane's?"

"Yes," she confirms.

"How long have you known?"

"I'm not sure," she admits.

"That it wasn't going to work."

"I just found out yesterday," she sniffles, "but I was so busy that I didn't have time to think about it."

"And now, you're thinking about an empty nursery. I understand why you would be upset. You want a baby, and..."

Maura cuts her off, "That's not why I'm upset. It doesn't even matter, anymore."

"Then why are you crying? You stormed in here, and slammed the door, why?"

"I wanted to be alone."

"When you want to be alone, you shouldn't be," Angela tells her.

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Because that's the time when you need someone the most."

"Everything is changing. I don't like it. I hate it."

"One day this will be the new normal."

"None of this is normal. The things that sick bastard has done..."

"Maura, what are you talking about?" Angela furrows her brow.

"Clearly, not what you think."

"I thought you were talking about how hard it is to see Jane with a baby. She didn't want one, and now she has one. You have always wanted one, and you don't have one."

"No..."

"Maura, what's going on?"

"I feel like everything is falling apart. This can't be happening, again."

"Happening, again? What are you talking about?"

"It has to be a dream."

"Maura, what has to be a dream?"

"I'm pregnant," she admits.

"You should be happy," Angela tells her.

Maura pulls the folded piece of paper out of the pocket of her pants. She hands it to Angela. Angela accepts the letter, and reads it to herself, silently. She sits the letter between them, and looks at Maura. She says nothing. She just envelopes her in a hug.

"Just don't play his games," Angela tells her.

"What am I going to do?"

"You don't even know if it's true."

"That I'm pregnant?"

"Look at what he put Jane through."

"Jace is perfect, but she's not his."

"Do you really think that baby belongs to Frost, or did you just fix the results?"

"I didn't do anything to the results," Maura answers.

"I don't think that she's his."

"I had the test sent to at least a dozen independent labs. Her blood type is O, like Jane's."

"So?"

"Hoyt was AB, that's not possible."

"Maura it's possible that..."

"A lot of things are possible."

"That you're not even pregnant. And it's also possible, that if you are, it is someone else's."

"I..."

"Why don't you just cross each bridge, as you come to it?"

"I'm scared. I'm not as strong as Jane is. I can't do this," the tears tumble down her cheeks.

Angela wraps her arms around Maura, pulling her into a hug. Maura buries her face in Angela's shoulder.

"Shh!" Angela whispers in her ear.


	56. Heart Of Stone

Angela stops in the doorway, of the bedroom. The lamp, near the bed is on. She takes a deep breath, and steps into the room. She finds Maura, lying on top of the covers. She wears silk pajamas, and her hair is still wet. She is curled into a ball, near the edge of the bed. She remains perfectly still, and silent. Angela squats, next to the bed.

"Is there anything I can get for you? A cup of tea..." she begins.

"A new life," Maura responds.

"I don't have those kinds of powers," Angela admits.

"I have a new life, and I don't want it," Maura reveals.

"That's ok," Angela tells her.

"Is it? It makes me feel like a terrible person, to even think that."

"No, you're not," Angela slides on to the bed, next to her. She sits on the edge of the bed, and looks at the emotionally drained doctor.

"A child, was the one thing, that I always knew I wanted."

"No one wants it, like this."

"I feel like it's my fault. I should have known. I should have seen this coming, and prevented it. I..."

"Maura," she reasons, "There was nothing you could have done."

"I don't want _this_ baby."

Angela tucks Maura's hair, behind her ear.

"I know."

"So what do I do?"

"You don't."

"Don't do anything?" Maura wonders, searching for guidance.

"Don't have it," Angela clarifies.

"But..."

"Maura you're not religious," Angela reminds her.

"You are, that's why I'm surprised."

"You shouldn't have a child, that you don't want."

"But..."

"No matter what choice you make here, you are always going to wonder if you did the right thing."

"How will I ever know?"

"You won't."

"This baby didn't do anything."

"That's true."

"It is innocent."

"I know."

"But I feel like I'm punishing it."

"Stop punishing yourself. You did nothing wrong."

"I just wonder if..."

"You shouldn't have to put your heart through hell."

"I know," Maura admits.

"But?"

"I just feel numb."

"Maybe you should pray about it," Angela suggests.

"I'm not religious."

"Maybe it's time to find one."

"I can't believe in something that I can't see."

"You don't have any faith, in anyone?"

"Jane is the only person I have any faith in."

"Just try it."

"How?"

"Just pray that things will work out."

"The way that I want them to?"

"The way that they are supposed to be."

* * *

Jane stands frozen. She's exhausted, but smiling. She holds the camera up. She snaps the picture, capturing the perfect moment. She turns the camera off, and places it on the counter. She returns to the couch. She stands at the end of it. She watches her partner, as he sleeps. His chest rises, and falls. Their little girl sleeps, with her ear pressed against his heart. Her tiny palm lies against the patch of skin, that peeks out from his v-neck t-shirt. She notices the drool on his shirt. His arms cross his chest. His hands both rest, on his daughter. The wrap around her, protectively.

"Hey," she whispers.

He opens his eyes, and looks up, to find her standing at the end of the couch.

"What time is it?"

"Time for bed," she answers.

"I'm fine here. Do you want her?"

"I'm not going to let you sleep on the couch, come on."

"I'm fine."

* * *

She slips the baby from his grips. Her eyes flutter open for a second, as she stretches. She curls back up, and closes her eyes. Jane holds the baby in her arms, as her partner sits up, on the side of the couch. He looks at the drool stain on his t-shirt. He looks at the woman, in front of him, holding his child. He pats the seat next to him.

"Sit down for a minute," he asks her, softly.

"I want to go to bed."

"Please," he implores.

She nods, and takes a seat, on the coffee table. He looks at her, less than six inches away from him.

"We need to talk, he tells her."

"Ok."

"How does this work?" he questions.

"What?"

"You, me... we have a baby."

"I know."

"You're my partner, and we have a daughter."

"Yeah."

"It's complicated. What's the plan? We share custody, I get visitation? What? Jane, I just don't know how I feel about that. I don't know if I can leave her. I don't want to leave her, ever."

"I know what you mean."

"And, you're so great with her. I just couldn't ask you, to give up any of your time, with her. So, what do we do?"

"We'll talk about it tomorrow."

"I want to talk about it, now."

"I'm tired, and I'm going to bed," she begins to slowly get up, off the coffee table.

"Jane, wait," he begs, in a soft, low voice.

"Barry, I am to tired to argue, or talk. Just come to bed, we can discuss it in the morning."

"You want me to sleep in there, with you?"

"Two things. Though I am stubborn, I do have a head injury, and I am paranoid that I won't wake up, and hear her. So, you should probably come. Secondly, you have slept on that couch, enough, your butt is permanently imprinted into the cushion, and I don't like it. So, are you coming, or not?"


	57. Got My Heart

He rubs his eyes, rolling towards the crying. He climbs out of the bed, and retrieves her from her basinet. He begins to pat her, and climbs back into bed. He places against his bare chest. He pats her, until she falls back to sleep. She soon wakes up, to feed the baby. His eyes fly open, when she touches the baby. She pries him from his grasp. When she's finished he takes her back from him.

The next time she wakes up, he's lying next to her, with a sleeping baby on his chest. She looks at the clock, it tells her that it's six am, and that they've gotten three solid hours of sleep. Jace drools on Frost's chest. She smiles, and grabs the phone off the nightstand. She snaps a picture, and then rolls towards him. She runs her finger against the back of Jace's balled up fist. Jace's eyes pop open, and look at her.

"Morning beautiful," she smiles.

Frost's arms are tightly wrapped around the little girl. Jane pats his bicep. "Frost," she whispers. He opens his eyes, and looks at her, with a smile.

"Hey."

"Good morning."

"Already?"

"She slept pretty well," she comments.

"Why don't you go jump in the shower?"

"I..."

"I can watch her, besides, we need another half an hour."

"When has it ever taken me half an hour to take a shower?"

"Never, but that's not the point."-

* * *

She curls up into a ball, on the rug, in front of the toilet bowl. She pulls a towel, off the rack, and throws it over herself. She hears footsteps coming towards her. She doesn't move. She feels physically, and emotionally drained. The footsteps stop, and someone squats down, next to her.

"Maura, go lie down."

"I can't sleep. I'm too busy barfing," she responds.

"Come on, I'll get you a trashcan."

"I'm just going to move my bed in here."

"Come on sweetie," she insists.

Maura reluctantly rises to her feet. She feels dizzy, and light headed, as she stands. Angela leads her into the bedroom. Angela pulls back the covers. Maura climbs in. In place of her silk pajama's she wears an oversized t-shirt. Her hair is pulled into a messy pony-tail. Angela hands her a mug.

"What's this?"

"Just drink it."

"I..."

"It's just some tea, a little bit of a family recipe, drink it."

"But I..."

"It's green tea, just drink it."

"Ok," Maura nods, her head pounding.

She drinks the warm elixir, even though the taste is less than appealing.

"Try and get some rest," Angela takes the mug, from Maura. She tiptoes towards the doorway, flipping the light off, as she goes.

"Wait," Maura calls out.

"Yes?"

"Please don't leave me. I don't want to be alone. Can you just stay, until I fall asleep?"

"Sure." Angela places the cup, on the bedside stand. She climbs into the bed, next to Maura. She lies down next to her, and watches her.

"I'm glad that you're here."

"Shh! Maura, just try to get some rest."

"I'm scared," she admits.

"I know."

Maura rolls over, and closes her eyes. Angela hums, until they both fall asleep.

* * *

They sit at the counter, on barstools, eating their cereal, in her kitchen. They are silent, as they chew, and stare at the sleeping baby, sitting in a bouncy seat, between them, and their cereal bowls. He swallows.

"Thank you."

"For what?" she turns to look at him. He doesn't meet her glance, he just stares at the baby, between them.

"For her."

"What if the last lab comes back, and she's not yours?"

"Either way, she's mine."

"What are we..."

"She's my daughter, and I love her."

"I know."

"Jane, I don't know how to make this work."

"It's complicated."

"I know."

"I never wanted this you know. I didn't want a family. I didn't want something to lose, every time I walk out that door," she admits.

"And now?"

"I never knew that I wanted her, but I do."

"Me too. What does this mean?" he questions.

"I guess that we're a family. We have a daughter."

"But, what does it mean, for us?" he inquires.

"You're her father, and I'm..."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it."

"I don't know yet. Let's just let the cards fall where they may."

"Meaning?" he raises an eyebrow.

"We're her parents."

"Do we live together?" he begs the question.

"Do you want to?" she furrows her brow.

"It would be more convenient. It's best for her. And, we practically live together now."

"This apartment is too small," she points out.

"We can live somewhere else."

"I don't like change."

"You like her."

"I love her, more than I even knew possible."

"Ok," he nods, "Then we'll get a different place, together."

"That psycho nurse was right."

"What psycho nurse?"

"That tried to steal that baby," Jane responds.

"About what?"

"We did make a cute baby."

"I believe the word she used was beautiful, and I agree," he smiles.

"She's got your ears."

"And my heart," he admits.

"Mine too."


	58. Heart's Nightmare

Jace is lying down, for a nap, and Frost is drying the dishes. Jane stands at the kitchen sink, staring out the window.

"Jane?"

"Hm?"

"What are you thinking about?"

"Maura."

"Why don't you go check on her?"

"Because I have a newborn, and I am her food source."

"I can take care of her."

"I am sure that you can, but..."

"I am better at changing diapers, than you are, so go."

"I..."

He opens the fridge, "I see two bottles in the fridge."

"Of expired beer?"

"Of milk. When did you pump this?"

"When you were in the shower."

"All of this?"

"You slept for three hours, I woke up in the middle of the night, to a sleeping baby."

"How is your head feeling?"

"It still hurts like hell."

"I'll watch her, if you want to go check on Maura."

"Are you sure?"

"Wait, no."

"No?"

"You shouldn't drive," he reminds her.

"I'll be fine."

"I can't take the chance."

"So what, you're going to drive me, like I'm twelve?"

"I don't know, I just don't want you to drive. You haven't been cleared yet."

"Frost, she's my best friend."

He points at the pack and play, in the next room, "And she's your daughter."

"I have to make sure that Maura hasn't jumped off of a bridge."

"Why would she jump off a bridge?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"She'll kill me."

"I'm your..."

"Partner?" he fills in the blank.

"Baby daddy," her lips curl into a smile.

"I'll drop you off."

"No," she shakes her head.

"Then you stay home with the baby, and I'll go talk to her, even though I have no clue what I'm talking about.

"You should just go with me. You can protect Jace from my mother."

"Protect her, from your mother?"

"I don't want my mother to smother her," Jane expresses concern.

"Like I could prevent her from smothering Jacey."

"First of all, her name is Jace, not Jacey. Secondly, you can run interference."

"Let's go," he agrees.

Jane walks over to the pack and play. She peeks inside at the sleeping baby.

"I can't."

"Why not? She's coming with us."

"I don't want to. I'm worried about Maura, but I don't want to have to drag Jace out."

"Jacey will be fine."

"You're going to confuse her, about what her name is."

"She's a newborn. She doesn't know her name."

"What are we doing?"

"Going to Maura's," he answers.

"But it's such a production. I have to pack a bag, and..."

"The bag is packed. Change her, and we can go."

"She'll be hungry, soon."

"Feed her when we get there."

"Whatever," she rolls her eyes.

Before they leave, the baby screams, because she's hungry. Jane decides to feed her, before they leave. They finally arrive at Maura's an hour and a half after they decide to go. When they arrive Jane leads the way. Frost follows behind her, carrying the carseat, with a sleeping baby inside. Jane doesn't knock. She just goes in. Frost follows behind her.

* * *

Angela is in the kitchen wiping off the counter. She lights up, when she sees Jane. Barry comes into the kitchen, and places the car seat on the counter. He uncovers baby Jace. Angela unbuckles her, and scoops her up.

"Ma, where's Maura?" Jane questions.

"She's upstairs," Angela answers, "has been all day."

Jane nods, and heads for the stairs. She slowly, and painfully climbs the stairs. She has to stop, and rest when she reaches the top. She takes a deep breath, and heads towards Maura's room. She stops, at the door. The door is ajar. She knocks. There is no answer. She pushes the door open, and goes in. She tiptoes into the room. A lamp flips on.

"I'm not asleep. I will probably never sleep, ever again."

Jane approaches the bed. She finds Maura curled up in a ball, in the bed. She lies on top of her covers. A fleece blanket covers her up. Her hair is pulled into a sloppy bun. Her face is free of a single trace of make-up. Jane takes a seat on the edge of the bed. Maura lies there, unmoving, looking completely defeated.

"Are you going to stay in bed, forever?"

"Maybe."

"Maura, come on."

"Jane, I can't do this. I don't want to."

"Then don't."

"I should have known."

"Known? How could you have known?"

"I went back through my calendars."

"And?"

"I missed a couple of periods. I was just so busy, I didn't even realize it."

"Did you make an appointment?"

"To what?"

"To do whatever it is that you want to do."

"Jane..." she blinks away tears, "Please make this nightmare stop."

Jane's heart breaks, to see Maura in that state. It takes all of her strength not to begin crying, too.


	59. Shattered Heart

Days later, she sits in the exam room, holding Maura's hand. Jace is at Maura's, with Angela, while Frost is at work. Maura sits on the exam table, in a paper gown, waiting for someone to come in. The ultrasound technician comes into the room. Maura doesn't watch, as the ultrasound tech squirts the gel onto her abdomen. Instead, she stares at a poster to her left, that is hanging on the wall.

Jane sits next to her, in a chair. She holds her hand, and watches every move the tech makes. The technician begins to move the probe around. Jane sees an image appear on the screen. The sound of the heartbeat fills the room. Maura remains unmoving. Her eyes remain locked on the poster, hanging on the wall.

The ultrasound technician remains professional, and doesn't ask any questions. When she's finished she hands the pictures to Jane. She gives Maura a tissue to wipe the gel off of her stomach.

"The doctor will be in, shortly," the technician tells them, as she leaves the room.

Maura wipes the gel off of her stomach. Jane throws the tissue away for her. Before the doctor enters the room, the water works begin. She turns to Jane.

"I don't want to do this. I don't want to have an abomination."

"You are the one who set up this appointment. You should stay."

"Why? It doesn't matter. I don't want it."

"Maura. You're already here," Jane responds firmly.

Half an hour later, they're in the car. Maura is completely silent, as she drives towards her house. Jane sits in the passenger seat, eagerly waiting to get back to her baby. The car is barely in park, in Maura's driveway, when they bail out. Maura gets out first. She storms up the walkway, into the house, and slams the door. She stomps up the stairs. Jane comes into the house, to a screaming baby. Angela hands the baby to her. Jane goes over to the couch, and takes a seat. She throws one of the baby's blankets over her. Angela sits down next to her, as she feeds the baby.

"I take it that it didn't go very well?"

"How could it?" Jane answers.

"What did you find out?"

"Gestation is estimate at twelve weeks one day. She's absolutely pissed."

"I know that she's angry."

"She's angry at herself, for not knowing. She is upset, because she thinks that she missed the signs."

"I'll go talk to her."

"I wouldn't. Let her cool off. She didn't even want to finish the appointment. After the ultrasound she was ready to go. She didn't want any part of it. She didn't look at the screen at all. When she heard the heartbeat I thought that she was going to lose it. She wanted to throw the pictures away."

"I should go check on her," Angela insists.

When Angela enters Maura's room, she finds her sitting on the floor, in front of her bed. Angela takes a seat next to her.

"I heard things didn't go well."

The tears trickle down Maura's face, "Make it go away. Make this all be a dream."

"I wish that I could."

"What am I going to do?"

"You're going to do whatever you have to."

"The thought was a lot easier, when it was just a bunch of cells," she responds.

"I know," Angela responds.

"It has a heartbeat, and a face. At least, I assume that it has a face, I didn't actually look. For all I know, it could be completely defective."

"Maura, just stop. Stop hating yourself. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I don't believe that."

"What are you going to do, now?"

"I don't want this baby."

"Then don't have it," Angela tells her.

"It's not that simple."

"I know that, Maura."

"What if something goes wrong? What if I hemorrhage, and I can never have a child?"

"Maura you shouldn't have a baby, that you don't want. You shouldn't have to try and love a child that you regret having."

"I'm scared."

"I know."

"I don't know what to do."

"Maura is there any possibility that it belongs to someone else?"

She shrugs, "How would I know? Jace belongs to Barry, and that wasn't supposed to be possible."

"That isn't what I meant. Is it possible, that Hoyt is just playing games with you? Maybe you were with somebody, around that time?"

"Jace is a week old. Jane found out she was pregnant, ten weeks ago. This happened before this, and... I can't think of anyone."

"Maura have this baby, or don't, but you have to make up your mind."

"How? How can I make up my mind? How do I decide? I don't know who the father is. Worse case scenario, it's Hoyt's. Do I have it, and try to raise it, hoping, that maybe nurture is more important than nature? Or maybe I have it, and no matter whose it is, it becomes a demon spawn? What if I don't have it, and it wasn't Hoyt's, or even if it was, and it would have turned out to be a completely normal, decent, human being? What if it cures cancer?"

"Maura you can't play the what if game."

"I don't have all of the facts. I need facts, and statistics, and I don't have them."

"Choosing to have a child is based on way more than facts, and statistics."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. I don't want to think about this, anymore."

"Maura, you can't just avoid it."

"If you'll excuse me, I am going to go get into my pajamas, and go to bed, now."

"Fine, but tomorrow, you get up, and you go to work. You have wallowed enough."

"You're not my mother."

"Your mother has elected me as her official stand in, so you're going to go to work."

"I'm not sixteen," Maura argues.

"I'll see you at work in the morning."

Maura grabs her pajamas, and storms off, into the bathroom. Angela leaves the room, and heads downstairs.

* * *

"I take it, by the look on your face that didn't go well."

"Not really. She' angry. She's angry at herself. She's angry at what was done to her. She's angry at me."

"She'll get over it."


	60. Happy Heart

The following day Maura returns to work, as instructed, by Angela. Instead of continuing to discuss the matter, she completely shuts everyone out. She spends most of her time away from the house. She spends most of her time at work, or at the gym.

She is still barely talking, eleven weeks later, when Jane returns from maternity leave. In the eleven weeks since being on maternity leave Jane's concussion has resolved. She, Barry, and the baby have moved into a bigger place. With some serious coercing Angela gets Stanley to agree to allow her to keep Jacey, while she works.

Jane drops Jace off, with Angela. Angela secures the bright eyed three month old in her snuggli, and continues to work. Jane heads to the morgue, to find Maura, and be brought up to speed on the ongoing case. She exits the elevator, and makes her way into the morgue.

"Good morning," she smiles.

"What are you so happy about?" Maura responds, in an irritated mood.

"I'm happy that I'm back at work."

"I still can't believe that you took the full twelve weeks."

"I came in, and worked, when I had a brand new baby, that I just brought home from the hospital."

"I thought that you would get stir crazy."

"No," she shakes her head, "I was perfectly happy being at home with my sweet little Jacey. She's such a good baby. She's happy, and smiling most of the time. She sleeps through the night, and has since she was five weeks old. Everything is great, right now. What don't I have to be happy about?"

"We have a murder to solve."

"It is terrible someone got murdered, but it's job security."

"How can you be so cold?"

"I'm not. It's the truth. I have a baby, I have to have a job. If I'm going to be away from her, it's got to be a pretty damn important job, too. I haven't seen much of you, lately."

"I have been busy," Maura answers, "And, I just saw you, yesterday, at Sunday dinner."

"Which you barely participated in."

"Jane..."

"You barely ate. I hardly see you anymore. You never talk to me."

"Jane, now is not the time," Maura warns.

"Are you ok?"

"I am perfectly fine."

"You don't seem fine."

"Jane, I don't want to talk about it."

"You don't have to talk about it here."

"I don't want to talk to you about it, at all."

"You don't have to talk to me, either, but you do need to talk to someone."

"I don't want to talk to anyone about it, anywhere, ever."

"Maura, come on. I am your best friend. You've been through a lot..."

"Don't. Can we just get on, with the case?"

"Ok," Jane nods, losing her smile.

* * *

She finally makes it to the squad room, twenty minutes later. She takes a seat at her desk. Korsak comes in, behind her. He scurries past her, to his desk.

"What are you doing?" she raises an eyebrow.

"There was a rush," he answers innocently, with the infant strapped to his chest.

"Take her back," Jane tells him.

"We've got some things to do, before we have to go anywhere. It will be fine," he looks at Jace, "Won't it, pretty girl?"

Jace smiles. She wears pink, polka dotted leggings, with a purple, and pink onsie. She has a headband with a flower on it on, that keeps her curls in check. She even wears pink socks.

"Five minutes," Jane answers.

"I thought that you didn't like pink," Korsak answers.

Frost, and Frankie join them. Frost sits down at his desk, with his breakfast, and coffee.

"He dressed her, this morning," Jane points at Barry.

Barry looks at Vince, "Isn't she cute? She looks just like me, but in pink," Barry answers.

"Maura basically chewed me out, this morning," Jane comments, changing the subject.

"She's been like that since she came back to work. I don't know what's sticking in her craw, but... she's had the worst attitude lately. She's definitely taking the title queen of the dead seriously," Vince answers.

The lieutenant comes into the room. He looks at Jane, and puts a pile of papers on her desk.

"What's this?" she asks him.

"Paperwork that needs done," he answers.

"Ok."

He glances at Frost, who innocently eats his breakfast. He totally ignores Frankie. His gaze lands on Korsak. He turns, and walks over to his desk. He holds his hands out.

"Hand her over," he insists.

"It was only for a few minutes," Vince answers.

"I need my turn," he reaches for the baby.

He slips the baby into his arms. She smiles at him.

"Now, listen cutie, I am aware of your powers. I know you make people melt. And, I am going to tell you, that it's definitely worked on me. You do, however need to keep in mind, that I can change my mind about you being here, at any time. I am only doing this, because... mostly because you're cute. I guess that it doesn't hurt that your grandmother is my favorite cook, and your mom is a kick...butt detective, and your dad... well I guess he's alright too." He pauses, and turns to Jane, "If you need us, we'll be in my office," he turns, and walks away.

They all look at each other, and smile. Frost swallows his bite of food.

"It's the dimples, she gets those from me," he beams, with pride.

"And, just how do you know that? Jane has dimples, too," Vince points out.

"Mine are cuter. And she has my lips, too. Best of all she has my personality."

Jane raises an eyebrow, "So, what you're saying, is that all of her best attributes, are the ones that she got from you?"

"Naturally. She got the stubbornness from you, and the ability to burp louder than any man I know, too."

"We should probably get to work," Jane points out.

"Are you up to speed on the case?" Frankie chimes in.

"I believe so," she nods, "But I would like to go over the case files."

"Here you go," Frankie hands the files to her, off of Frost's desk.

She pulls her hair into a pony tail, and begins to read the files.


	61. What The Heart Wants

She stands in autopsy, watching Maura examine the body. Maura seems tense, and in a generally bad mood. Jane watches closely, saying nothing. She rubs her hands, as Maura works on her autopsy. Maura looks at Jane, out of the corner of her eye. She puts down the scalpel, for a brief moment. She looks at Jane. For a second her guard drops.

"Are you ok?" Maura asks.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're rubbing your hands. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing," Jane answers.

"Really?"

"Really," Jane responds.

"That is rarely true. It's your tell."

"Maura I am fine."

"Then why are you rubbing your hands?"

"It's going to rain," Jane replies, "they bother me, before it rains."

"That's it?"

"Yeah," Jane nods, "Nothing is bothering me. Is something bothering you?"

"No," she shakes her head, and returns to her exam.

Jane continues to observe Maura. She taps her toe.

"Maura," she says softly.

"Huh?" Maura murmurs, without looking up. She remains completely focused on her autopsy.

"Are you ever going to talk to me?"

"Jane, don't," she warns.

* * *

That night, Jane lies in her bed, wide awake. She stares at the ceiling fan, as it whirs around. She breathes heavily.

"What?"

"Go to sleep," she tells him.

"I can't, with all of the huffing, and puffing over there. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing," she lies.

"Since the baby has started sleeping through the night, so have you. What gives?"

"I am just worried about Maura. She's shut everyone out. It's not healthy."

"She'll talk to you, when she's ready."

"What if she doesn't?" Jane responds.

"She will."

"You don't know that."

"When are you going to tell me what happened?"

"I am not. It's not my place to tell you."

"Did the two of you have a blow out, or something?" he questions.

"Not exactly."

"What then?"

"Go to sleep."

"You should go to sleep, too," he answers.

"I know," she rolls onto her side.

He can hear her twirling her hair.

"Jane, you can talk to me."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"We do need to talk."

"About what?" she inquires.

"The fact that we still haven't talked about this, yet."

"About what?"

"We live together," he points out.

"I know, and?"

"We have a daughter together."

"I know that, too."

"We sleep in the same bed, and live in the same house, but we still haven't discussed what it means. We moved in together, and we never defined what exactly our relationship to each other is."

"We're Jace's parents. We're partners."

"At work we're partners. We're always going to be Jace's parents. What are we, to each other?"

"You're in my bed," she answers.

"We've never gone on a date, or..."

"Or what?"

"Had sex," he answers.

"You were there, when I gave birth."

"And?"

"That is probably the most revealing situation that you could ever see me in."

"Jane you have been avoiding this, long enough," he tells her.

"What do you want from me? Do you want to have sex?"

"That isn't what I said."

"Then, what do you want, from me?"

"I want you to tell me what you want."

"I want us to be parents to our daughter."

"That is a given."

"Frost..."

"You can call me Barry. My name is Barry. Jane, we sleep in the same bed every single night, you do not have to call me Frost."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything."

"I love our daughter. I want her to have both of her parents in her life. End of story."

"End of story? That is not the end of the story."

"Why are you asking me this?"

"I want a definition."

"I want Jace to get to have two parents. I want her to have two parents who live in the same house, as she does. I want her to have a stable home."

"Jane, so do I, but that doesn't answer my question. That is what you want for Jacey. What do you want for you?"

"I want to go to sleep."

He flips on the lamp, "I'm awake. I want to talk."

"I don't," she argues, reaching for the lamp. He puts his hand up, and keeps her from turning it off.

"We're going to have his conversation. I have given you time, and space. Jace is three months old. It is time to have this conversation."

"Fr... Barry, you are not tied to me, just because of the baby. If you want to go out there, and find someone, I am not going to stop you."

"Jane, just tell me, what do you want?"

"I can't," she answers.

"Why not?"

"What if you don't want the same thing?"


	62. The Heart Won't Lie

"I am asking you what you want," Frost reminds her.

"I don't want anything."

"You don't want anything? Or you don't expect anything?"

"Both."

"Jane, I know that you are used to people disappointing you."

"I don't want anything else. I just want to have this. I want to be here, in this house, with our daughter. That is all I need."

"Dammit woman! Can you just tell me what I want. You're not going to hurt my feelings by telling me what you want."

"I just told you," she answers.

"I need more details. Quit being so stubborn."

"I don't need anything more than this," she admits.

"But it's ok, if you want it. Jane, I have seen you at your lowest point. You can trust me. Please," he implores, "just trust me. You don't have to hide from me."

"Some mornings, I just want to stay right here, in this bed. I don't want to move, when we're lying here, with a baby between us. I never wanted this. I never wanted a family. Now, every morning, when I wake up, it's all I want. I can't imagine my life without her," she pauses, "without you. I don't want you to go anywhere."

"But?"

"You're my partner. You didn't sign up for this. You didn't ask for a baby, or baby mama, with so much baggage."

"I give up. I am just going to tell you, what I want," he surrenders.

"Fine," she agrees, lying on her side, staring at him.

"I want that, too. I want to spend every day, for the rest of my life, with you, and my daughter. I realized, that I don't want to wake up without you. I know that you hate commitment. I know that the thought of commitment makes you sick, but I'm not afraid. I love you. I don't care who knows. I love you, and I want to marry you. I want to move to the suburbs. I want to fill the house with babies, and laughter. I want you."

She doesn't say anything, she just looks at him.

"Say something," he begs.

"Me too," she whispers.

"What?"

"I want that too."

"Are you sure?"

"Somehow, somewhere, I fell in love with you. I don't know when, or how, but I did. I know that it's wrong, but I can't help it."

"I think I hear the baby," he slides out of bed.

"I don't. She's fine," Jane insists.

Frost ignores her, leaving the room. He tiptoes down the hall, and steals the sleeping baby out of her crib. She doesn't stir, as he holds her in his arms, and carries her down the hall. He places her in Jane's arms.

"See, she's sound asleep. Take her back to her crib. I don't want to wake her up."

He flips on the lamp, on her side of the bed. Jane sits up. She looks at the baby, and blinks.

"What is around her neck?"

"I don't know," he shrugs, wearing his boxers.

She reaches into the onsie, and pulls out the string.

"You can't put things around her neck," she scolds him, as she continues to fish the string out.

"Here let me help you with that." He gently slips the necklace made of string off Jacey's neck. He holds it out to Jane.

"What is that?" she points to the end of it.

He unties the loose knot at the end of the string. He slips the ring off of it. He places it in the palm of Jane's hand.

"Marry me" more of a statement, than a question.

* * *

She sits outside the closed door, of a room she can't bring herself to go into. It's late, and she can't sleep. She wears her loose fitting silk pajamas. Her legs are criss-crossed. She considers getting up, and going to bed. She doesn't hear the footsteps coming up the stairs. She looks up, and finds someone standing in front of her. A hand reaches out to her.

"Angela, it's late, what are you doing in here?"

"I saw the light on. I figured that you couldn't sleep."

"I'm fine," she lies.

"Come on," Angela reaches for her.

Maura hesitantly rises to her feet, wearing her slippers.

"Angela you should go to bed, it's late."

"So should you, but yet here you are."

Maura doesn't say anything.

"You can go in, you know. I'll go with you."

Maura nods, reluctantly. Angela turns the knob, and flips on the light. She enters the room. Maura stands in the doorway, frozen. She stares at the nursery. Angela reaches for her hand.

"I can't," Maura tells her.

"Why not?"

"I just can't," Maura admits.

"You have to deal with this, eventually."

"I don't want to."

"So you're going to live life on pause?"

"I'm not."

"You're not? When was the last time you went out, even for dinner with a friend? When was the last time that you smiled, or laughed?"

Maura shrugs.

"When was the last time that you were happy?"

"I don't know."

"You can't live life like this. You have to deal with things, at some point."

"I don't know how."

"It's time," Angela tells her.

"Time, for what?"

"Lots of things."

"I wouldn't know where to start," Maura replies.

"It's time to grieve what you've lost, and pick up the pieces. You have to move on, with whatever you got."

"I'm not ready to move on."

"It's time to ask for help."

"I can't..."

"Not from me. You need help, that I can't give you. You need professional help."

"I'm not crazy."

Angela takes her hand. She pats the back of it, "No, but you're going to drive yourself there, if something doesn't change."

"Jane didn't need help."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No," Maura shakes her head.

"Jane goes to counseling three days a week."

"She never told me."


	63. Heart On High

Maura looks up at the letters on the wall, above the crib. Angela says nothing. Maura looks at the blue bedding. She looks to Angela.

"We should take the letters down."

"I'll take care of it."

"Thank you."

"Maura?"

"Hm?"

"Are you going to tell Jane?" Angela inquires.

"Tell her what?" Maura responds.

"The truth."

Maura looks at the ground, "No."

"You're not going to tell her, at all?"

"I'm not even ready to face the truth, myself. I can't tell her, yet."

"How long do you think you can keep it to yourself?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

* * *

She sleeps peacefully that night. When she wakes up, in the morning, she's tangled in her sheets. She rolls over, towards the man that is in her bed.

"Morning," he greets her.

Before she can respond the baby, starts crying, from down the hallway.

"I'll get her," he offers, slipping out of the bed, pulling his boxers on.

"I..."

"I've got her."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he nods.

"I'm going to go jump in the shower, then," she responds.

"Ok," he agrees.

He heads down the hallway, towards their daughter's room. He flips on the light, as he steps through the doorway. He stops in front of her crib. She looks up at him, and stops crying. He leans over, and scoops her up. He kisses her chubby cheeks. Her dark curls go in every direction.

"Morning beautiful girl."

He carries her over to the changing table, and puts a fresh diaper on her. He peels off her footie pajamas, and goes over to her closet. He picks out a purple jumper. He puts a onesie on, underneath. He quickly fastens the snaps, as she squirms. He brushes her hair, and puts a head band on her. He carries her into the kitchen, and makes a bottle.

Jane comes into the kitchen, fresh out of the shower. She's dressed, and her hair is dry. She wears a pony tail. She finds Frost sitting at the kitchen table, holding the baby. She takes him from her arms.

* * *

Maura comes into the kitchen. She finds her breakfast waiting on her. Angela reads the newspaper, as she sits on a barstool, at the island. She takes a seat, in silence. As she sips her green tea Angela passes her a section of the newspaper.

"Going for a run, this morning?" Angela inquires.

"Yeah," Maura nods, wearing her running attire.

"Maura, you can try to hide from the world. You can lie to everyone else. Just remember, you can't hide from yourself, and you can only lie to yourself, for so long."

"I'm not ready to face this, yet," Maura tells her.

"What if you never are?"

Maura just shrugs.

"It's a little late now, isn't it?" Angela raises an eyebrow.

Maura simply nods.

* * *

Jane walks into the morgue, and finds that Dr. Isles has already transitioned into her black scrubs, even though they've barely been back from their crime scene, for ten minutes. Jane smiles widely, as Maura begins her exam.

"You seem happy," Maura points out.

"I think that we had this conversation yesterday. I don't have anything to be unhappy about."

"I remember."

"Just because you're a sourpuss doesn't mean that I have to be," Jane adds.

"I am not a sourpuss."

"Really?" Jane's eyebrow arches, "When was the last time you smiled?"

Maura shrugs, "I don't know."

"Exactly. Maura, you have got to quit being so hard on yourself."

"I know that we had this conversation yesterday, but you seem happier than you were yesterday. You're bordering on chipper," Maura notes.

"And?"

"Never mind," Maura returns her attention to the blue fiber in the wound track. She takes a pair of tweezers to remove the fiber. She puts it into an evidence collection bag. Jane tilts her head. She rolls up her sleeves, and pulls on a pair of gloves. She scoots closer to Maura. She points to the wound, on the shoulder.

"What is that? It looks metallic," she leans over the table. The necklace that she's wearing comes out of her shirt.

"Watch it. Don't contaminate my evidence," Maura warns.

Jane takes a step back. Maura removes the metallic looking fiber from the wound. She places it in an evidence collection bag. She hands it to Jane, so she can have a closer look. Jane has discarded her gloves, but hasn't tucked the necklace back into her shirt. She takes the baggy from Maura, to have a closer look.

"What is that?" Maura asks.

Jane squints, and looks at the fiber in the evidence baggy. She shakes her head, "I can't tell. That's what you're here for," she answers.

Maura shakes her head. She pulls off her gloves. "What's that," Maura points to the necklace.

Jane looks at Maura. She follows Maura's glance. She looks down, at the object, on the end of the necklace.

"Nothing," she lies, reaching for the necklace, to tuck it back into her shirt.

"Nothing? That looks like an engagement ring."

Jane freezes. "Oh," is all she can manage to say.

"Is it?"

"Is it what?" Jane questions.

"An engagement ring? It looks like an engagement ring. Did you get engaged?" Maura quizzes.


	64. Heart Burnt

"Maybe," Jane shrugs.

"Maybe? That's all you have to say? I ask you if you're engaged, and all you have to say, is 'Maybe,'?"

"Some things are personal?"

"After everything, you're going to tell me that some things are personal?" Maura raises an eyebrow.

"Some things are private," Jane clarifies.

"I am your best friend. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It just happened."

"When?"

"Last night. I wasn't planning on telling you, until I told my mother. I wanted to tell everyone at Sunday dinner."

"Oh."

"And, as far as keeping things private, you're one to talk."

"Jane..."

"You don't disclose anything, unless absolutely necessary."

"I apologize," Maura responds.

"Maura some things _are_ personal. I understand that. You don't see me badgering you."

"Badgering me, about what?"

"What things look like," Jane answers.

"What are you talking about?"

"You have been avoiding me. The past several weeks, the only time that I see you, is Sunday dinner. It's like you're shutting me out."

"I'm not," Maura denies the facts.

"You're in denial. You would rather avoid the problem, than deal with it. You can only run so far, Maura. You can't run from yourself."

"Jane, I don't want to talk about this," Maura warns.

"We don't have to talk about it, now. We don't have to talk about it here, either. I just want you to know, that we do have to talk about it."

"_We_, don't have to do anything."

"I'll see you at dinner, tonight," Jane replies, turning to leave.

"Tonight isn't Sunday."

"I'll see you at dinner," Jane repeats, leaving the room.

* * *

She walks into the squad room, her partner looks at her. She moves towards him. She stops, next to him. She stands in front of the dry erase board.

"What do you have?" she inquires.

"Not a lot, yet," he responds.

"Can you put Jacey to bed, tonight?" she wonders.

"I can, but you never let me," he reminds her.

"I have something I have to take care of, after work," she reveals.

"Ok," he nods.

His computer dings.

"What's that?" Korsak wonders, entering the room.

Frost walks around the desk, to his computer. He clicks.

"I got the footage from the surveillance cameras near the area that the body was found," Barry announces.

"I am going to go talk to the victims brother, to see if he knows what he was doing in that alley," Jane decides.

Korsak nods, "I'll go with you," he offers.

"Ok," she nods.

* * *

Jane sits across the table, from Maura. Maura picks at her food. She says nothing. Jane sits across the table from her. She doesn't eat, she just watches her. Maura stares at her plate, avoiding eye contact. Jane clears her throat.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"How the hell should I know? I just know you refuse to talk to me. I am your best friend."

"I don't want to talk to anyone. Ok?"

Jane shakes her head, "No, it's not ok. None of this is ok. Look, I have been there, and I am probably the only person who understands. Maura, talk to me."

"No," Maura shakes her head, "You haven't been there. Everything worked out, for you."

"Everything will work out, for you, too."

Maura shakes her head, "Not everyone gets a happy ending."

"Maura, you can't think like that."

"What am I supposed to think?" she raises and eyebrow, still not making eye contact.

"That life goes on."

"Life goes on? You cannot seriously be trying to convince me of that."

"Maura you have barely spoken to me in months. I know that you're angry at the entire world, but you have to talk to someone."

"It doesn't have to be you."

"You're absolutely right, it doesn't have to be me."

"I am angry, all of the time," she admits.

"I can see that."

"You were numb, I am angry."

"I know."

Maura swallows hard, "And I am angry at you. I am angry at myself, for letting this happen. And..." she trails off, before she says something that she can't take back.

"Why are you angry at me?" Jane wonders.

"You are getting a happy ending. You've got a fairytale. All of this happened, because of you. You had to drag me into this, and now look at what has happened."

"Maura, I am sorry. You have no idea how guilty I feel."

"Your life is all rainbows, and butterflies, get over yourself."

"Why are you being so mean?"

"I don't know any other way, to be, to survive."

"Maura, I am sorry," Jane responds, candidly.

Maura looks up with her, "It's easy to say, when your nightmare is over."

"Maura!"

"Mine is just beginning."

"You have to let it go," Jane insists.

"I can't let it go," Maura blinks away tears, "How could I ever let it go? I feel as if whatever shred of humanity I had left, was stolen away from me, the second that I found out I was pregnant."

"Maura, are you still pregnant? I thought that you decided not to have the baby."


	65. Heart And Soul

"I don't want to talk about this, anymore."

"Maura don't do this to yourself. You need help."

"I think that you should go."

"You need professional help. You can't just hope that everything that you're feeling right now goes away."

"I am done talking about this," she insists, shutting down.

"Fine," Jane agrees, "but if you change your mind, call me."

* * *

When she gets home, she drops her keys on the coffee table, and makes her way down the hallway to her daughter's room. She stops in the doorway, and watches as Barry rocks their sleeping baby, in her rocking chair. He watches her, in silence as she sleeps. He looks up, at Jane.

"You ok?" he questions.

"What makes you think that I wouldn't be?" she wonders.

"The look on your face," he points out.

"Oh."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Maura is shutting everyone out," Jane reveals.

"You have been known to do that, yourself."

"How am I supposed to help someone, who doesn't want help?"

"It's not your place," he tells her.

"I am partly responsible."

"Jane, what are you talking about? What is going on with her?"

"Nothing that she wants to talk about."

"Maybe she doesn't want your help, maybe she just needs a friend who will be there for her."

"I don't know how to do that."

"You have to learn."

"It isn't going to matter. She hates me."

"For what?"

Jane continues, without answering his question, "She thinks that it's my fault."

"Jane, you're going to have to clue me in."

She pauses, and leaves the doorway. She stops in front of the rocking chair. She looks down at her little girl, who sleeps peacefully. She looks like an angel in a purple polka dotted sleeper. Jane lifts the little girl out of Barry's arms. She holds her for a few moments, just watching her sleep. She carries her over to the crib, and places her inside. She stands in front of the crib, for a long time, looking inside. Barry gets out of the rocking chair, and walks over to the crib. He stands next to her. They watch their daughter sleep, in silence.

Finally he breaks the silence, "Jane what is it that's on your mind?"

"I could never have imagined what I went through, in my worst nightmares."

"No one could."

"And I could never have fathomed having her would change my life so much."

"I know, me neither."

"I look at her, and I still can't believe she's here. She's so perfect. I never knew that I wanted this. I never knew that it could change my life so much."

"But?"

"The second I looked at her, it didn't matter where she came from, how she got here, or who her father was. All I saw was my little girl. I would have kept her no matter what."

"I know that."

"Yeah, but I didn't. I didn't know I could feel so much love for one person, in the first instant that I met them."

"Neither did I."

"I feel so grateful that I have her, and that she is healthy, and happy."

"Me too."

"And I am so thankful that you're here, with me. There is no one else I can think of that I would rather do this with."

He looks over at her, trying to read her facial expression. Mostly he picks up on the fact that she's exhausted. Then he sees a hint of fear. He studies her trying to figure out where it's coming from. A light bulb goes off in his head.

"She's pregnant?" he questions.

Jane simply nods.

"It's not mine, is it?"

Jane shakes her head, "No, I don't think so, not this time."

"Is she sure that it's his?"

"I don't know," she admits.

"What is she going to do?"

Jane shrugs, "She wouldn't even talk about it."

* * *

She sits in the doctor's office, waiting for him to enter the room. She sits at his desk, feeling a wave of emotions. The door opens, and he comes into the room. He takes a seat at the desk, on the opposite side from her. He places a manila folder on the surface of his desk. He opens it, and looks at her. She stares back at him, with a cold, blank stare.

"Shall we begin?" he questions.

"Ok," she nods, numbly in agreement.

"We received the results of your amnio-centesis."

"Right."

"Where would you like to begin?"

"It doesn't matter," she admits.

"Paternity, gender, genetic testing? Which results would you like to start with."

"I am sure that all of them are equally as important, so it doesn't really matter."

"First of all, do you even want to know the gender? I know at previous visits you declined."

"Not particularly."

"Then let's move onto paternity," he suggests.

"Ok," she nods.

"The sample that you provided is a match. We were able to confirm paternity."

She doesn't say anything.

"I have the feeling that there wasn't ever really any question to paternity, was there?"

She shakes her head, "Not really. I guess I always knew," she admits.

"You don't seem surprised, but you don't seem happy."

"It doesn't matter. Can you just give me the results of the test, so that I can go over them at my own leisure?"

"Sure, I'll make you a copy, Dr. Isles. Is there anything else I can do for you, today?"

"No."


End file.
